18 Nov 2012

England vs Australia: New Zealand wins?

As the English rugby team prepare to face Australia at Twickenham today, Ben Monro-Davies asks if New Zealand’s match result is the only one that matters?

As the English rugby team prepare to face Australia at Twickenham today, Ben Monro-Davies asks if New Zealand's match result is the only one that matters?

International rugby union is currently a series of imponderables along with one certainty. Any team can beat the other – as long as the other isn’t the All Blacks.

Last weekend the European champions Wales were mauled at home by Argentina. Australia suffered a walloping from France, who earlier this year performed dreadfully in the Six Nations.

England beat Fiji – a result versus a minnow that is impossible to interpret, unlike New Zealand’s thrashing of Scotland. The latter merely confirmed the Blacks are on another rugby planet.

‘We can’t even pass properly’ – David Campese, former Australian rugby player

This weekend may well leave us with a fresh narrative, but with the same ending. England should beat Australia, who are going through a wretched run of form.

Their former star David Campese concedes he almost wants them to lose so coach Robbie Deans is sacked.

“Deans has destroyed Australian rugby and I want him to go,” said Campese.

“We’ve got a team at the moment that can’t catch and can’t pass. Wallaby teams in the past were never like this. Anyone who knows anything about Australian rugby knows what it’s famous for – loops, angles, switches, counter-attack, creative play. Where’s all that gone? We can’t even pass properly.”

Australia suffered a walloping from France, who earlier this year performed dreadfully in the Six Nations.

And an English victory would confirm their continued recovery from the drink-addled disaster that was the World Cup in 2011. But an alcoholic on the wagon always has a long road ahead. Australia are currently so poor that anything other than victory would be extremely disappointing. And victory will still mean they are miles away from New Zealand.

New Zealand are undefeated in 19 matches. That will become 20 when they play Italy this weekend. Before the Argentina result, Wales might have been hopeful of their first victory since 1953. Good luck if they can’t even beat Argentina.

Much used to be written of the gap between northern and southern hemispheres.

That still exists – South Africa are comfortably the second best team in the world, and will probably cause another miserable day for Scotland at Murrayfield. But the real gap is between New Zealand and everyone else.

The All Blacks won the World Cup ravaged by injury, down by the end to their fourth choice fly-half, and with their star player Daniel Carter crocked almost throughout. Since then they have widened the gap.

So whatever the results from the home nations – indeed all the nations – this weekend, they don’t matter unless it’s against New Zealand. That’s the only real team against which to measure yourself.