The cost of war for British military children

Two hundred and eighty five children are known to have lost a parent in the two wars since the UK entered Afghanistan in 2001: 104 in Iraq and 181 in Afghanistan.

The children of those killed will carry the legacy of those wars for the longest, yet until now the actual number of them has been a matter of conjecture.

Brooke and Kai Scott are two of this special group. They lost their dad, Corporal Lee Scott of the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment, in 2009. He was killed in an IED explosion during operation Panther’s Claw. Sitting on her mum Nikki’s knee, three-year-old Brooke tells me: “My daddy died and went to heaven.”

Brooke is beginning to understand what will be a defining event in her life, one which took place when she was just eight months old. Kai is now eight. He has been telling his little sister stories about their dad, sharing his memories. But he too is still struggling to come to terms with his loss.

Mum Nikki says, “Kai was five at the time. He’s had bad tantrums, nightmares. I’d have to pick him up from school because he was sobbing for Daddy. I think they go through what we go through, but it’s ten times harder to see a child go through it.”

It’s important to know how many children are affected because we try to help as many children as we can. Nikki Scott

She says Kai sometimes goes to sleep clutching a photograph of his dad.

Nikki Scott founded the charity “Scotty’s Little Soldiers” in memory of her husband, to help kids who have lost a parent this way, as she puts it to “put a smile on their faces”.

Nikki has been surprised by how her charity has taken off, but says she has never known how many children they are trying to reach. “It’s important to know how many children are affected because we try to help as many children as we can at Scotty’s Little Soldiers, but at the moment we have only got a small amount and we need to know how many children are out there that we could help.”

The loss of a parent is experienced in different ways as children grow older, but there are particular difficulties when the death occurs in war. Research carried out by Cruse Bereavement Care suggests the pain of loss can remain for longer because there are so many reminders of the war, especially in the media. For children who are used to parents being on tour, it is also hard to accept that this is much more than just another absence from which they will return.

How Channel 4 News arrived at the figure of 285:

We initially used the Freedom of Information Act to ask the Ministry of Defence how many children of service personnel had been bereaved as a result of Iraq and Afghanistan. They said they did not distinguish between those killed on operations and those who died in service (eg in a road accident in the UK). 

We then asked the Jeffrey Donaldson MP (DUP), who sits on the Defence Select Committee, if he would be interested in tabling a parliamentary question. The answer he received said that since the introduction of the Armed Forces Compensation Scheme on 6 April 2005, 45 children have been bereaved as a result of the Iraq conflict and 170 as a result of the Afghan war (until 30 September last year). 

Channel 4 News then researched the obituaries before and after those dates, and in the few cases where family is not mentioned, the additional media reporting. We found another 59 children who had lost parents in Iraq and 11 in Afghanistan.

Recognising bereaved children

Victoria Hale’s father, Captain Mark Hale of 2nd Battalion The Rifles, was killed in Afghanistan as he went to help a wounded soldier.

That was three years ago, but it is only recently that Victoria has been able to bring herself to look at his grave with some kind of acceptance. She says the initial support she had around her was great, but tailed off after a year or so: “The support I would have appreciated is for someone to come back a year down the line when you’re really feeling it to say ‘there is someone you can speak to’.

“People don’t really recognise it down the line, you feel like it’s you on your own.”

Ministry of Defence (MoD) statement:
The MoD owes a debt of gratitude to the families of servicemen and women who have laid down their life for their country and our thoughts remain with them. We are committed to looking after the children of our servicemen and women who are tragically killed on active duty for as long as possible and ensuring they get the best possible start in life. Welfare support is provided from the time of notification for as long as it is needed. Money can never compensate for loss of life but financial support is provided as are higher education scholarships.

Victoria’s mum, Brenda Hale, is now a Member of the Northern Ireland Assembly. She believes more can be done for the bereaved children of service personnel.

In particular she wants the allowance for boarding school (Continuity of Education Allowance) to stay available to all children. Her youngest, Alexandra, does not now qualify for the allowance: “Had Mark survived Afghanistan, she would have followed her sister’s path, but she is being penalised by the system that sent her father to war.”

She says the Military Covenant should be recognised in law to ensure that the children who have lost parents in the wars this country has chosen to be involved in are looked after.

More on Afghanistan

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  The tragedy of war in Afghanistan

  08 March 2012

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  Why are British troops fighting in Afghanistan?

  07 March 2012

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  Wootton Bassett honoured with Royal title

  16 October 2011