Interview with Bertie Watkins (EAST SIDE)

Bertie Watkins (34)

Theatre director, London

Bertie is a larger-than-life, sharp-tongued, self-confessed ‘people hater’ who loves the idea of rebuilding the world from scratch. In his day-to-day life he's used to being underestimated as ‘just a camp theatre director’ but in fact he is a DIY-maestro and can turn his hand to anything practical. He’s obsessed with The Matrix – he’s seen it over 100 times. Although he talks the big talk about how much everybody annoys him, he is extremely funny, likeable and has a soft side too.

What made you want to take part in Apocalypse?

I create immersive experiences for a living and have been for about ten years and this felt like a chance to take part in it, rather than organising it myself. It's a bit like being handed an immersive theatre ticket, except all the stress of putting it together is someone else's problem while you just get to exist inside the apocalypse.

Before you joined the series, did you do anything to prepare?

Mostly a huge amount of YouTube, because that's my instinct whenever I have a problem in normal life, although, of course, YouTube isn't the same as real life. I tried to learn how to make a sling out of a rope and a coat toggle so I could smuggle it in, then practised in the park with a conker, and quickly discovered it's an extremely difficult skill to pick up in a week, so that plan failed fast.

I also practised starting fires at home, which in hindsight was fairly reckless I didn't take it outside, and my partner was understandably concerned. 

What skill were you most confident would help the group?

Being a jack of all trades. I'm reasonably capable across most things without being brilliant at any one thing specifically (though I'm sure there's something I'm genuinely bad at). That versatility, and being someone who can adapt and fit in, was what I was confident about going in. Ironically, fitting in became one of the harder parts of the experience, because everyone in the group had such a strong personality of their own.

What was your biggest challenge in there?

The first week was genuinely hard, separate from the physical survival side. It felt real in a way that was hard to process that you're placed in this constructed world, but it's still your actual reality while you're living it. 

Group dynamics generally were tricky, especially with everyone hungry, and I wanted to make sure everyone got on, which I think, on the whole, we managed. 

What was your first reaction arriving in the town?

It felt like the best piece of immersive theatre I'd ever experienced. It was also genuinely intimidating as I like being organised and compartmentalising things, and the scale of it, with every building presenting a new unknown, made it feel like we were up against the city itself as much as anything. 

What surprised you most about the other survivors in your group?

Mostly how human everyone was, including myself, in ways that weren't always flattering. What I found genuinely lovely was that the group never really developed a leadership structure and instead it became something more like a family, with "mum" and "dad" figures rather than any kind of formal hierarchy. Even while starving, everyone still managed to make each other laugh and look out for one another, which was one of the nicest parts of the whole thing. 

Was it a shock to discover there was another group out there?

A huge shock, yes. There was a real panic. We'd just started to feel like we could survive on the food we had, and then it was stolen, which threw me into a genuinely difficult headspace. Hearing how it happened, without having been there myself to help, made it worse. They came over, took our pancake mix, and left. I think, in hindsight, we could have handled the response better than we did, but at the time it felt like a real blow, and honestly I still haven't quite forgiven them for it.

Do you think conflict with the other group was inevitable?

Yes, completely. I think it's a very human instinct to be neighbourly in theory but hostile the moment your neighbours start taking your supplies. It's part of why the social-experiment side of the show came through so strongly: things started adversarial, and slowly, hopefully with me pushing more of a peacekeeping approach, moved toward wanting to work together instead. In real life I'd rather make friends than enemies, so having an "enemy team" from the outset was genuinely unsettling.

Was there ever a moment you thought you might not be able to carry on?

It was only right near the end, the last couple of days, that we were genuinely ready to leave. There was one particularly memorable low point involving a batch of mayonnaise that clearly didn't agree with me, after not having gone to the toilet properly for about three weeks I was determined not to use the camp's bucket toilet, so I'd been going out to the woods to dig a hole instead. It ended in a very unpleasant middle-of-the-night incident that left me questioning my life choices rather dramatically.

Do you feel like you learned a lot about yourself?

An enormous amount, yes, and I'm happy I did. I've previously struggled with mental health, and in a strange way this experience genuinely helped me. Being away for a month with no phone, and no way to distract myself from my own head, forced me to actually sit with things I needed to address. The positive outcome is that I've now dealt with a lot of it, and things are genuinely better as a result.

Has the experience changed what you think about contemporary life and the things we take for granted?

Yes, absolutely. Food and water stood out the most. I don't think many people in the western world experience that specific worry of genuinely not knowing when you'll next eat, even on a day when you're not particularly hungry yet. It also affects group dynamics in ways you don't expect. If you find food, do you share it, or keep it to yourself? Even something as small as one snack bar raises real questions. That feeling has stuck with me since coming back. I've actually put on weight because I can't stop myself eating, as if I'm still subconsciously in "store food" mode.

Not having a phone for a month, and a month away from work, was genuinely wonderful. There's something nice about working with the rhythm of daylight rather than a clock too.