Interview with Asim Chaudhry (Garden Centre Santa)

Why did you want to get involved in Finding Father Christmas?

The script was really good, really warm, and I’ve worked with the production company, Big Talk, quite a lot. They've really looked after me for the last few years, they've been very loyal and they're a good company, good people. The director Anthony Wilcox was a producer on Dick Turpin, which I was in, and I love Lenny Rush (playing Chris) and Ele Mckenzie (playing Holly) so working with them was great. 

Who are you playing in the show?

It's a nice cameo as a really shit Santa, he’s hungover and doesn’t have time for people. He's closing up Santa's Grotto for the day and has a meeting with Chris, who asks him about finding the real Father Christmas. He has to tell Chris, Look, I'm not the real Father Christmas. It's a very funny couple of scenes. 

Have you ever put on a beard and a red suit and been a Santa?

Only for this film, and I did quite like it. Should there be a UK version of Bad Santa, I'd love to do that. 

Lenny is so young, and so good…

Lenny's brilliant. I'm working with him on The Reluctant Vampire at the moment. Because he's a comedy connoisseur, he was asking me questions about People Just Do Nothing, about this and that. His timing is great. I like to do some improv, and during rehearsals I was telling him that I might change it up for the scene. Normally, I wouldn't let people know because it’s good to get their natural reaction, but Lenny’s young and I didn’t want to throw him off. He just said, do whatever you want – he was riffing with me and was brilliant. He's won a BAFTA and he's only a child – it took me 38 years! I think he's destined for Hollywood or whatever it is he wants to do.

Were you shooting out of season?

It was in the autumn and raining. We were in a garden centre and I was dressed as Santa. It was daytime so it was filled with old people, and every single old person who came up to me said the same thing: ‘Oh, it's a bit early for that, isn't it?’ And I said the same joke back to them every single time, and got a laugh every single time: ‘Oh, I've clocked in early, trying to get a bit of overtime.’ Every time, the joke banged, and the people with me just couldn’t believe it. 

Your character claims to have Stephen Fry's phone number. Do you have Stephen Fry's phone number?

I don't, but I have met him backstage at an event. He was lovely, but my mum ruined it a bit because she was fangirling him. We also did a Kurupt FM podcast for Audible and Stephen did a little cameo, reading out some MC Grindah lyrics as himself. It's one of the best things you will ever hear. He’s a legend.

Are you a Christmassy person?

I do love Christmas, the wholesome, warm feeling about it all. Being raised Muslim, we did celebrate Christmas but it wasn't a full-blown thing. I'd go to what I'd call the white side of my family, because my uncle married a white woman, and we’d do Christmas there. Now our family's all broken up and everyone's divorced, standard stuff, but the cousins still get together. We were the children and now we're the adults, so we make sure there's a neutral ground for everyone to have a good Christmas, regardless of the family bullshit. I like Christmas because it feels like everything stops and everyone gets together. I appreciate it can be tough for people, but I think there's always hope in Christmas. 

Do you have festive traditions in your house?

We get a nice tree and make it a bit Christmassy, but it’s more about making Christmas special for the for the next generation. We always put on a few Christmas films. Without sounding like an absolute narcissist, my family do like to watch my Christmas film with Steve Merchant, Click and Collect. Out of everything I've done, I don't mind watching that because it’s a warm Christmas film that I'm quite proud of, we made it for nothing and I got to work with one of my comedy heroes. The BBC and Netflix put it on every year so I get my £7.50 royalties. So I suppose my tradition is watching my family watch me in a Christmas film. We can add Finding Father Christmas to the mix this year, and I’m also in The Chase Celebrity Special. It’s a really good episode.

What else have you got coming up?

Apart from The Reluctant Vampire, I've got a film coming out in February with Sam Rockwell, a dark, comic sci fi film about AI called Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die. I’m doing a lot of writing as well: a film and a sitcom.

Have you been naughty or nice this year?

I guess I've been nice, quite boringly. As you get older, it's easier to be nice, isn't it? Being naughty and being a prick in general takes more energy. You're a bit lighter when you're nice, like you've taken a big poo. Being naughty, your whole body feels tight. It reminds me of The Twits, when they show the illustration of the woman who's not conventionally pretty but a really nice person: she looks beautiful and she's glowing. Then they show someone who's conventionally good-looking but horrible, and you see that in their face. I've been nice because it's easier to be nice.

Any New Year's Resolutions?

I’m going to flip it and say: my New Year's Resolution is to be a bit more naughty – as in, to be a bit more selfish, do things for myself, see my friends more. That's what my therapist tells me to do, which is hard when you're always doing things for others. So, I want to be a bit more of a selfish prick.