The Honesty Box - Q&A with Tobias

Tobias

29
Car dealer from Kent

What's your ideal woman?
I'm looking for someone who is down to earth, normal, definitely family orientated. Someone who doesn't mind going down the local on a Friday night with my mum and dad. Looks wise, of course, plays a big part into it. I don't really have a preference for blonde or brunette recently. I've dated both in the past. Not too short as I'm relatively tall.

How do you meet girls?
I'm not really a fan of the apps. I think it's really hard to constitute what someone's like from five pictures and three silly answers. I'm quite old school with it. If I see a girl in a pub or a bar that I fancy, then I'll just go over and say hello to them. To be fair, modern-day girls don't necessarily like that too much, and some look at you as if you're completely crazy for doing so. But I think it's best to meet someone in person and really get a vibe and find out what they're about straight away.

What is it about the apps that you don't like?
You can spend ages on there, just swipe, swipe, swipe, constantly swiping. You match however many girls and meet them for however many dates. But you never really get a gist of what that person is about. I don't really think you get a real justification of what that person is about on apps.

What do you have on your dating profile?
The one thing I say about myself is that I'm an oversharer. Sometimes this is a blessing. Sometimes this is a curse. I'll speak to everyone around me the exact same way, Whether it’s my mum and dad or my friends. I'm a pretty open book.

What are you looking for in a relationship?
The bits of relationship I actually miss is having someone to do something with. I miss meeting someone, having experiences with someone, going on weekends away. All my friends around me seem to be getting engaged and married left, right and centre, so I better get my arse into gear and get it going! Honestly, week by week is a new wedding invite or a new stag invite. I’m preparing speeches here, there and everywhere.

Do you want things like marriage and kids?
My answer for that has changed drastically within the past year, because I've got a niece now, and before that I was adamant I didn't want to have kids. I remember going to Mallorca on holiday with my parents, standing on the beach after a few beers, and all I can hear is kids crying around me. I said to my mum, “It’s not for me”. But when you meet the right person, I think your opinion on that changes. I’m the same with marriage: I don't know if I'm the sort of bloke to have a big church wedding with hundreds of people there. I think spending that sort of money on everyone else to have fun for a day is a bit wasted. A Vegas wedding or something like that would be a good laugh.

Would you say you’re a romantic?
I'm romantic in some senses. At the minute, everyone bangs on and on about love languages, don't they? Mine is definitely acts of service. I'll show love by doing nice things for someone as opposed to holding your hand at every given minute. Bringing home some nice flowers, paying for meals or buying your partner something every so often is something you've got to do. Am I a soppy kiss kiss romantic? Definitely not.

What do you do for a living?
I'm a car dealer. I buy and sell used cars. You're probably thinking straight away: wheeler dealer, Del Boy sort of character. I try and steer away from that as much as possible. My dad's done it for years and I came into the business before setting up my own about eight years ago. We are salesmen. The secret to selling a car is to never talk about the car because they'll fall in love with you instead. It's an honest job.

Does that gift of the gab help you with the ladies?
I think it does. I will just walk over to anyone in the bar if I fancy them and say, “Can I buy you a drink?” I have no problem continuing a situation. It's never an awkward silence at the dinner table. I'm very chatty person. Sometimes that can get you in trouble. Like I said, I’m an oversharer. Sometimes you can go a bit far into it: Scare them off in the first date if you say too much.

What do you think people's first impressions of you are?
A few years ago, people would have probably said I’m a bit cocky and arrogant, which I never understood because I didn't think I was being cocky or arrogant.  Maybe that says something about me. I think as I've gotten older that's changed. I think people describe me as honest. I try and be as blunt and straight to the fact as possible. A lot of my friends who are girls actually lean on me for relationship advice with the boys these days - God knows why, because I'm not in a relationship. However, I think they know that if they come to me, they'll get a direct answer, and I won't beat around the bush.

Do you think you have to be 100% honest in a relationship?
I think you have to be. That’s a bit hypocritical, I have been a bit of a naughty boy here and there in the past. In my next relationship, I will have to be 100% honest and transparent. It's the only way you gain that level of trust where you can both not doubt anything about the relationship. When I've told white lies about situations in the past, the truth always comes out eventually, and it's never done me any favours.

Have you cheated in the past?
I have cheated before. I'm not proud of it at all. Drunken antics. I wasn't particularly happy in the relationship at the time. I'm a believer that you shouldn't really cheat. If you find yourself cheating with a girl, then you're not meant to be in that relationship. You might as well come forward and be truthful with it.

Are you good at keeping secrets?
I don't really hold that many secrets because I literally blurt everything out. I've been chatting to a man in a pub for five minutes and already told him what I do for a living and X, Y, Z about myself. Someone in the past said I'll be the last person they'd do a bank robbery with, because I'll be blurting it out literally immediately.

Do you think you’ll be able to beat The Honesty Box?
There is that little bit of leeway. I fancy my chances here and there with it. However, 88% accuracy also don't look too favourable. I'm sure there will be a few questions asked, which I think are pretty gruelling, where I might have to tell a lie or two.

Do you white lie convincingly?
I mean, I'm a car dealer. So do I white lie convincingly…? [laughs]

What gives you the ick?
My biggest icks are pole dancing for fitness. Hate it. I understand, it's great fitness and it really strengthens the core. It's not for me, thanks very much. And being a fussy eater for sure. Really annoys me.

Have you ever been cheated on?
That’s a bit of a sore subject. Do I think I've been cheated on? Yes. Do I think I was told the whole truth? No. But you’ve got to roll with it. Get on with it. Put your chin up and go for it again.

What are your worst traits in dating?
I can be a little bit short on patience. I think If you have a problem, do something to fix that problem. Some people out there would like to whinge and moan and go all around the houses to make every excuse as to why they can't fix it. Whereas I'm very much get on with it - sort it out.

What's more important, love or money?
If you'd asked five years ago, then the answer would probably have been money. However, as I've got older, I would say that love probably is priority. By all means, money is important. It brings freedom and that can make the pair of you more in love. You can have a nice life. However, I do think that love is a lot deeper than money. You can be absolutely skint but if you've got love, then you'll both be alright together.

Are you quite good at spotting a lie?
I would say I'm good at spotting a lie. Car dealers can spot bullshit a mile off. Eventually there's going to be a slip up.

Have you told any elaborate lies when dating?
I always set my dating profile location as Chelsea or southwest London. The reason being, I'm a bit of a fan of a posh bird and that's the place to meet them. Ideally, I'd hope they'd move down to Kent eventually.

What else is special about home for you?
I've got a dog called Martha. My mum and dad sometimes call her my girlfriend. I guess she is currently the love of my life. I'm trying to meet the perfect girl who can join the two of us on those walks.

Where would you take a date to impress them in your hometown?
There’s a few nice local restaurants on the high street, but there’s a pub at the end of my road, and there’s no better first date than my local.

How are you going to play the game?
By being as honest as possible. I’m not afraid of embarrassing myself despite what stories could come out inside The Honesty Box.

Are you ready for a relationship?
I am ready for a relationship. I'm ready to find that person who's got my back and I've got theirs and just enjoy life together.

Who would play you in a film of your life?
It would probably be Jack O'Connell. The love interest would possibly be Jodie Comer, who I actually met on a train relatively recently and gave her my number. But unfortunately, I haven't heard anything back yet. You never know.

Meet all of the Truetopians in The Honesty Box Press Pack.
The Honesty Box starts Monday 28 April at 9pm on E4.

ENDS