Episode Four - Adam Buxton, Self Esteem, Meera Syal, Tommy Tiernan

For the fourth episode we have Comedian Adam Buxton, Singer, songwriter and actress Self Esteem AKA Rebecca Lucy Taylor, Actress and writer Meera Syal, as well as Comedian and actor Tommy Tiernan competing.

In three challenges, set by Paul Hollywood and new judge Caroline Waldegrave, the bakers must make delicious crumpets in the Signature, not panic over perfect piping in the Technical and recreate their celebrity hero in pastry for their Showstopper. 

The Great Celebrity Bake for Stand Up To Cancer continues Channel 4 on Sunday 6 April 19:40, and on catch-up at Channel4.com.

Adam Buxton

Can you bake?
No. I went through a brief phase, over the weekend, of thinking I might actually be quite a talented baker. Because I started practicing, and I made three versions of my showstopper. The first one was a disaster, the second one was instructive, but not there, and the third one, I absolutely smashed it. It was really good. Everything worked, and I thought “Oh my God, I think I’m going to win this thing, and maybe turn into a professional baker.” But since then, it’s been getting away from me in the tent – and that’s an understatement.

Describe your baking style in one word.
Angsty.

What’s your favourite baked good?
Oh blimey… Bread. I just like bread.

Would you describe yourself as a foodie?
I suppose so – a very entry-level foodie. I do love food. I have a slightly fraught relationship with it, because I probably eat a bit too much, and a bit too much of the wrong things. But I do love it, and some of the most memorable times I’ve had in my life have been having good meals in a lovely setting with nice people. Food is such a fun part of life. One of the saddest times was when I lost my taste and smell after getting Covid, and I spent most of 2021 not really being able to taste things. It makes you realise, food is such a central part of life. It was a good reminder. I thought back to all those years when I could taste and smell everything, and I used to eat so much junk, so much processed food that had a strong flavour just because it was so loaded with chemicals and sugar. I do want to spend the rest of the time I have left eating better food and enjoying it more and being a bit more adventurous, and I hope I will bake a little bit more after this experience.

Do you cook much in everyday life?
Yeah. I get those recipe boxes delivered, and they really changed everything for me. About six or seven years ago, I realised that I had to start eating a bit better, and changing my habits, and I also thought that I wanted to see what it would be like to eat much less meat. Not be vegan, but try and eat some vegan food, make some vegan dishes, and see what it’s like, having thought “I couldn’t possibly be vegan or vegetarian, because I like meat too much.” Actually, it turned out that I liked vegan food very much, and that was all thanks to those recipe boxes. I really like the actual process of cooking, and I listen to Six Music, and it’s all good.

You cook a dish involving tuna, pasta and ketchup. Is it as revolting as it sounds?
No, it’s nice! Where did I talk about that?

I think it was on the Off Menu podcast.
Oh yeah. I forgot I admitted that! It’s delicious. Ketchup is a brilliant ingredient. There are times when I’m cooking actual proper dishes, and I’ll squirt a load of ketchup in, and it very seldom makes it worse.

What’s been your biggest culinary triumph?
I don’t know that I’ve had too many absolute triumphs. My triumph was at the weekend, when I made my showstopper. It looked brilliant, it tasted great, it was just one of the best moments of my life! I’m not saying that in a jokey way, I really mean that. It was just great, and my wife was looking at me in a different way, like “Who’s this guy?” It was wonderful. 

What are the strengths and weaknesses you take with you into the tent?
Strengths? Attention to detail, a love of the process, a desire to do things as well as possible, a respect for the kitchen and cleaning as you go (even though that was not much in evidence when I actually started cooking). As far as my worst qualities go, a tendency to get a bit flappy, a bit over-serious, to lose my sense of humour a little bit. They kept on coming over and asking me what was going on while things were falling apart. And a slight tendency to panic a little bit.

Are you a fan of Bake Off?
Yeah, I love it!

So what’s it like, walking into the tent for the first time?
It’s bigger than it looks on telly. Usually it’s the other way around, in my experience. Usually, you go on an set and you go “Oh my God, is this it?” But it was a lot bigger, and it’s quite fun, it really feels like being inside the television. It looks the way it does on TV. And Alison is incredibly friendly and lovely, Paul Hollywood is quite convincingly dour at certain points. I felt a little intimidated. It’s lovely to see Noel, I haven’t seen him for years – we used to bump into each other in the comedy world in the early 2000s, so it’s a treat to see him, and slightly surreal to catch up on camera, and talk about our respective experiences of double acts, and how that relationship changes over time. So, it's been really fun.

Your great friend Louis Theroux did the show a few years back. Have you asked him for advice?
I don’t think I did, actually. I did know that Louis had done it, but I didn’t ask him for advice. I have too many competitive rivalries with Louis as it is. 

Have you sought tips from anyone else?
Yeah. I got tips from a lady called Chris, who has been a friend of the family out in Norfolk for many years. She gave me some invaluable pointers that completely transformed my game, most of which I forgot when I was under pressure. But she was fantastic. And my daughter gave me some really good advice when I was practicing something for my first challenge. So they were my two most valuable supporters. 

Is it an intimidating moment when you look up and see Caroline and Paul studying you?
Yes, but it mainly feels annoying. At home, when I was practicing, it was total focus, and it was so fun, and you just work away and get it all done. I suppose I knew, in the back of my mind, it wouldn’t be like that on the day, and I’d be stressed. But I didn’t really anticipate how stressful and distracting that would be. I think I thought maybe they would come over once or twice, but actually they’re there quite a bit. At one point, I saw Paul come over and just prod my pastry, and I could see by the look on his face that I was in trouble. 

Are you competitive? How badly do you want to win?
I am competitive, but not very seriously, because I feel I’m unlikely to win. I just wanted to do well. I wanted to do my idea as well as possible, but it is really annoying, though, when things don’t turn out the way you wanted. 

Self Esteem

Can you bake?
I thought so, before entering the tent. I think I can. 

Describe your baking style in one word.
Impatient.

What’s your favourite baked good?
A Cherry Bakewell. 

Would you describe yourself as a foodie?
Yes, I would.

Do you cook much in everyday life?
When I’ve got time, I love to cook. In the pandemic, I cooked every meal for my parents, and I would luxuriate in new recipes, and take all day doing it. But now I’m back working, I don’t get as much time to cook. But when I do have time, it calms me down. I love to put a reality TV show on my laptop and cook. 

What have been your biggest culinary triumphs and disasters?
There’s a celeriac fish pie that was very good. And I did one of the recipes from The Sopranos Cookbook, and it was amazing. There have been plenty of disasters, but I will say my practices for this were awful. This experience has really put me through it.

You have talked in the past about your love of art, of creating things. Does that translate to decorating your bakes?
It does a bit, yeah. I wish I’d had longer to think about it, but once I knew that you could do different shades of pastry with different egg washes, that unlocked a whole thing for me where I was trying to play with shading. 

What are the strengths and weaknesses you take with you into the tent?                                                                                            

I think my strength is my resilience, my stick-with-it-ness. My weaknesses are my impatience and I think Paul Hollywood lovingly called me ‘violent’ - with my bake of course. I am quite fast and the tent is quite a pressurised space. We all felt it. When you’re trying your best, and people keep coming up to talk to you, it’s really quite hard to stay polite!

Lots of people describe baking as a soothing, mindful experience. Presumably that’s not the case when you’re in the tent?
No! Bits of it have been mindful, but others have definitely been stressful!

Are you a fan of Bake Off?
Yeah, a massive fan, I love it! About 15 years ago I got in touch with the chap who does the illustrations over the internet and asked him to draw me as a Cherry Bakewell so this is all very full circle for me.. 

What’s it like, walking into that iconic tent for the first time?
It was really cool, I’m not going to lie. I’m still quite giddy when I do telly, I’m a very big fan of UK television, and I still get quite excited. It was amazing. 

As someone who is used to performing in front of thousands of people, have you learned to control your nerves?
I’ve not been nervous, I don’t think. Although I was really shaky, but I think that was all the caffeine and the adrenaline. I tend to get more nervous about going to someone’s barbecue or house party. One-on-one social situations make me much more nervous than being on Celebrity Bake Off. 

Have you sought advice from anyone ahead of the show?
My mate Travis’ nan told me to keep my hands cold, and run my pulse points under a cold tap before I did the pastry. My mum’s good at sponges, so we talked a lot about sponge. And I asked for a lot of advice in the tent. Paul Hollywood gave me some good advice about egg wash which changed the direction of my design. 

Did you keep your hands cold?
Yes, but then I used a mixer in the end anyway. 

Is it an intimidating moment when you look up and see Caroline and Paul studying you?
I would call it more annoying than intimidating. I don’t like anyone in the kitchen when I’m cooking. So it was an extreme version of that. It’s not ideal. 

When you did Taskmaster, you said you were surprised by how competitive you were. Is that the case here? How badly do you want to win?
It’s happened again. I really want to win. I don’t think I will, but I really want to.

What would it mean to you to get a Hollywood handshake?
I’d love to refuse a Hollywood handshake, that would be really fun. Like when they give me the knighthood and I refuse.

Why are you doing this? Why is SU2C important to you?
Cancer is something that will affect almost one in two of us. Research is desperately needed. Fundraising is going to save so many lives. Cancer devastates so many families. My dad had prostate cancer. He survived, and went through the treatment really well, actually. The NHS were incredible. I’m so lucky that science has evolved the way it has, that my dad could get actual cancer and then easily and quickly not have it anymore. The more chance of that being the case for people, the better. 

Meera Syal

Can you bake?
I do enjoy baking, and I bake quite a few cakes. Although I’m aware that, taking part in this, it might be more than cakes I am asked to bake. I just like feeding people. I’m a bit of a feeder, as my family keeps telling me. 

Describe your baking style in one word.
Relaxed.

What’s your favourite baked good?
I suppose the one that always goes down well is lemon drizzle cake. Lemon drizzle cake or brownies, one of the two. 

You said on the podcast Off Menu that you were just waiting to be asked onto Celebrity Bake Off. Is it fair to say you were pleased when the call came in?
I was absolutely thrilled, honestly, I really was. We’ve watched the programme for years and years, and we particularly love the celebrity one, because of the craic, really. Everyone seems to have such a good time, as well as raising money for a fantastic cause. It’s win-win, really. Who wouldn’t want to be on it?

You also remarked that you find baking a meditative pursuit. Is that still the case baking in the tent, in front of the cameras?
No, it is completely different. When I bake in my kitchen, I’ve got music on, I estimate things, I don’t get in a flap if things go wrong. It’s just not the same at all here. I think the worst thing is the time limit. When you bake at home, it’s ready whenever it’s ready. But here, you’re so aware that the clock’s ticking. And, of course, there are no clocks anywhere in the tent. And time in there is really weird. At one point I was having a cup of tea, thinking I had loads of time, and the next minute it was five minutes to go, and I hadn’t done anything! I don’t know what had happened in the meantime – I think there was an alien abduction I didn’t know about, and I lost an hour.

Would you describe yourself as a foodie?
Totally, yes. I love eating, I love cooking, and I love feeding people, and I think the best evenings are sharing food with friends around a table. That is my favourite way to spend an evening.

What’s been your biggest culinary triumphs and disasters?
Disasters: I did try and make a Greek dish called spanakopita. It’s a dish of feta and spinach and pastry, and it’s very complicated. I followed the recipe, and it honestly came out like a lump of lard. Nobody would eat it. We should have ended up using it as a doorstop, it was that bad. I wanted to make it, because I love eating it, and I realised that there are some things you should just buy. 

And triumphs?
I cook a lot of Indian vegetarian food, and I am told that people really love my saag paneer. 

What are the strengths and weaknesses you take with you into the tent?
My strength is I do enjoy cooking, so I’m not fazed by that, because I cook a lot at home anyway. Not necessarily baking, but I do cook. Weakness – definitely presentation. I think my flavours are good, but whenever I watch the incredible creations people come up with on this show, I just can’t understand how they make it look so fabulous. That’s definitely not a strong point for me. It’s a matter of time, really. Especially when feeding the family – just get it on the table!

What’s it like, walking into that iconic tent for the first time?
It’s really surreal. I’ve seen it so many times on television. I think the equivalent was when I filmed Doctor Who, and I walked into the Tardis. “Oh, this is what it’s like. Oh my God!” Definitely one to tick off the bucket list, for sure!

What’s the worst thing you could be asked to make in the technical?
Something like a brandy snap. Something that requires delicacy, because I’m a bit cackhanded and a bit slapdash. Something that requires really fine, delicate work I think I’d be pretty bad at. 

You’re great friends with Jo Brand, whose done the show before. Did you ask her for any advice?
I didn’t, but I did ask [actor] Nathaniel Curtis, who was on not long ago. [Nathaniel won the It’s a Sin festive special in 2021]. His biggest tip was “Relax and enjoy it” and I think that was very good advice. Just enjoy it.

And are you enjoying it so far?
Now I’ve got the first one over with, I am, yeah. It was a little nerve-wracking at the beginning, but I think I kind of get it now. And everybody is so nice. And there are so many people around to help if you’re feeling a bit lost. 

Is it an intimidating moment when you look up and see Caroline and Paul studying you?
Yeah, that’s the worst bit. And they caught me at a time when I had to take my proving out, and they decided to come and chat, and all I could think was “It’s in there too long, it’s going to collapse!” All while trying to make small talk. That thing about being judged is always a bit scary, but they’re very kind, considering!

Are you competitive? How badly do you want to win?
I don’t mind. I didn’t want to look stupid. I didn’t want to look like a complete failure, because I do enjoy cooking. I’d quite like to be complimented on my flavours, if nothing else. But winning? I don’t mind either way, I’m happy to be on here, to be honest. And I feel very connected to the cause, as well. I’ve had cancer in my family a couple of times, so that was another reason wanting to come on. I think it’s a fantastic cause.

Lastly, what would it mean to you to get a Hollywood handshake?
It would be another tick off the bucket list, along with going in the Tardis and going to visit Frida Kahlo’s house in Mexico City. I literally have a list, and that is now on it!

Tommy Tiernan

Can you bake?
No! I’ve no experience, no aptitude, no physical skills, but I have plenty of imagination. So I’m scuppered. There are things I’d like to do, but I’m not able to.

Describe your baking style in one word.
Hurried.

What’s your favourite baked good?
I’m a big fan of rhubarb tart. My granny used to make it, and it was lovely. So my granny’s rhubarb tart. 

Would you describe yourself as a foodie?
No, not really. I’m a bit more practical. I kind of panic eat, for energy.

Food is fuel, for you?
Yes, totally. Food is fuel.

Do you cook much in everyday life?
No. About once a season. My summer meal, my winter meal, and so on. And I tend to talk about it an awful lot. 

What have been your biggest culinary triumphs and disasters?
The biggest imaginative triumph was a sweet potato and quinoa pie. And the biggest disaster was the sweet potato and quinoa pie. I have great hopes for my food, and I try not to cook anything ordinary, but I aim too high.

So your ambition exceeds your ability?
Oh totally. And other people’s ability to eat. 

You spend a lot of your life touring. What kind of stuff do you eat on the road?
It’s all focused towards the show. From the moment you wake up, you’re thinking “Okay, if I have a big bowl of carbs now, when might that run out?” Say I’m going onstage at 8 o’clock, then I wouldn’t eat after 5pm. It’s not athletic, in terms of degrees of perfection, but it would be fairly considered – I wouldn’t just eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. 

What food do you ask for on your rider?
I love mandarin oranges. That’s the only thing I ask for. Such a strange request. I don’t ask for vodka or tictacs or anything, just mandarin oranges. They’re such a sweet little burst of sugar. I do the show in two halves, so I have maybe one or two before the start of the first half, and then I’d have another one or two in the interval to keep me going.

So you’re quite literally having a halftime orange?
Yes, totally. All my footballer dreams come true. 

You present the Tommy Tiernan Show in Ireland, which sees you interviewing guests with no idea who’s coming on the show. You must be good at thinking on the spot. Will that come in handy here?
I did absolutely no preparation for the baking. In the same way, when you find yourself sitting opposite somebody, you follow a line of thought until a more interesting one comes along. That’s the way I cook. I follow the instructions, but then if I get an idea halfway through, I kind of give in to that. But I think what’s interesting is the familiarity of pressure. I think my central nervous system is addicted to adrenaline. And it’s an unpleasant addiction. I’m very used to pressure. I wouldn’t say I enjoy it, but it’s kind of my drug of choice.

So if you knock showbiz on the head, you’ll be jumping out of a plane every day?
Or even just risk shoplifting. Whatever gives you a little buzz during the day. Remember when you were young, and you’d kind of run around a hotel naked? That kind of thing. I wouldn’t volunteer for surgery, or offer to fly the plane or anything like that. I do tend to drift towards that feeling you get in dreams, where you’re doing an exam, and you haven’t studied for it. I do seem to drift towards those experiences. 

What are the strengths and weaknesses you’ll bring with you into the tent?
A strength would be not taking it too seriously. And a weakness would be my inability to bake – how about that?

Are you a fan of Bake Off?
I don’t watch it that much, but my wife and children are huge fans. So when the offer came through, it was a no-brainer, really, in terms of being on the show, and the reason for being on the show. Even though it was completely out of my comfort zone, in terms of the fact that I’m not incredibly familiar with the shaking the hand thing, who speaks when, all the showstopper stuff, it’s nice to be able to put your shoulder to the wheel and help whenever you can.

There was a Derry Girls Festive Special in 2019. Did you speak to any of the gang who took part in it, and get advice from them?
Again, when I say no preparation, I mean no preparation. The only preparing I did was fly to England. After that, I’ve done nothing, I didn’t talk to the guys at all. 

What’s it like, walking into the tent for the first time? Presumably, if you don’t watch the show much, it’s not as big a deal as it is for some?
I don’t watch it as often as my wife and kids do, but I think that’s a good thing. You’d hate to be over-pressurised. Maybe you’re coming in a bit more breezily than the people who are really struck by it. The only time I’ve ever been really struck by where I was, was when I was in an episode of Father Ted. Being in the sitting room on Craggy Island, I went “Oh my goodness! There’s the couch, there’s where Jack sits, there’s the table at the window, that’s where Mrs Doyle goes in and out.” For this, fortunately, I didn’t have that. I don’t need to be more nervous than I am. 

Do you feel a little bit more pressure because your wife and kids are fans of the show?
They keep encouraging me to be awful.

They’re quite happy to sit there and laugh at you?
Yeah, totally. I’m not flying the flag for the family or the nation. Any my wife seems quite pleased that my ineptitude will finally be seen at an international level.

So people can sympathise with her?
Totally, yes. So they can see what she has to put up with.

What’s the worst thing you could be asked to make in the technical?
Oh Jesus! Anything intricate. Anything to do with folding sponges or designing swirls. My idea of a technical now would be where to place fruit on a slice of bread. That’s as much as I could handle. I’m hoping my ineptitude isn’t offensive to fans of the show.

Is it an intimidating moment when you look up and see Caroline and Paul studying you?
No, what was incredible was seeing what the other three guests were baking, what they came up with. That was phenomenal. I was really blown away by their imagination and skill. And it was a bit weird when Paul and Caroline came down to taste what I had made. I asked them not to taste it, but they decided to anyway. So that was a humiliation. A dreamlike humiliation. But it’s probably good for the ego to be treated like that every now and again. 

Are you competitive? How badly do you want to win?
Oh, I’ve abandoned all notions of winning a long time ago. But I would be ferociously competitive otherwise. Although, as you get older, maybe that’s fading slightly. I am not a threat. As Marlon Brando didn’t say, “I’m not a contender.”

Why are you doing this? Why is SU2C important to you?
Because I feel like it is a wonderful, wonderful world that we live in, and we need to do all that we can to stay in it for as long as we can. And whatever amount of help you can give in order for people who  are seriously unwell to fight that, and to fight the disease, is a brilliant, brilliant thing to do. Life is so precious and so gorgeous, and there are positive things we can do to encourage one another to keep fighting the good fight, and this is one of them. So it was a no-brainer. 

Stand Up To Cancer is a joint national fundraising campaign from Cancer Research UK and Channel 4 that brings the UK together to speed up progress in life-saving cancer research.