The Honesty Box - Q&A with Noel

Noel

29
Finance Administrator from Leeds

Would you say you’re an honest person?
I try to be an honest person. I try to be a good person. And for me, a good person definitely has honesty.

Are you good at spotting a liar?
I definitely would say that I'm not very good at spotting a liar. And that is not an invite!

How would you describe yourself?
I would describe myself as kind, funny, a little crazy and a little spicy.

What are you looking for in a relationship?
I've never been in a relationship where I was in love. I would like to experience that. I would like to be in love. I'd like to be in a partnership, a team.

What physical traits are you looking for in a partner?
I like a man that looks after himself. You don't need to have a six pack. But do you train? Are you fit? Can you carry me up the stairs? Can you pick me up? I’ve dated different races however I usually go for blond, blue eyes, green eyes. But sometimes completely different – dark hair, Middle Eastern features. If you're attractive, you're attractive at the end of the day. If Noelita likes you, Noelita likes you. I am a tall girl at five foot seven. I need somebody six feet and over. I want to be able to climb you like a tree. I want to be a koala basically.

How has the dating search been going?
Now that I'm in a new city, it's been a little bit of dating apps. It's been a little bit of gym as well, but that's it really.

Where’s home for you?
I was born and raised in Italy and moved to the UK when I was 14. But I've now lived in England for the same amount of time, so I feel like I'm at home in both places now.

How did your upbringing affect your dating life?
I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness. That was basically my whole identity, I have walked away from that now and I'm basically starting again, finding my feet. I started dating quite late in life. I'd say I was 24 or 25. Because before then, I just never really met anyone. My dating options were a little bit limited. I’ve had one serious relationship.

Was dating a factor in moving on from religion?
Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, I didn't date as much. But when I did hit around 24, 25, I started to really question if being a member of the faith was for me. That was a big thing for me because obviously it had been my whole identity until then. You know, I might have even knocked on your door.

How did your parents respond?
I didn't know how my parents would react, and I know it's been a while, but they're still taking it in. They love me, obviously, but it is a big decision because it is a sensitive situation. But they understand where I'm coming from, especially at this age. It's time for me to make decisions for myself. It was scary to mention that to my parents, because I don't think they realised how quickly my mind was changing. It was a difficult conversation. I'm still learning to navigate this new stage in my life, but so are they.

As much as sometimes it's difficult with family, I don't regret it. Sometimes it takes certain sacrifices to be happy. Sometimes you have to make certain decisions that might not feel easy. That can be quite scary, but sometimes in order to be happy, you just have to do it. Sometimes the reward doesn't come straight away. But I definitely, definitely feel like I've done the right decision for myself.

Do you feel that your life experience has grown you as a potential partner?
I'm learning some new things that I don't necessarily feel like religion has taught me. But things like kindness, being respectful, valuing your partner in a relationship or marriage: Personally, all these things I feel like I learned from being a Jehovah’s Witness. Many people might learn that from other situations. You don't have to be religious to learn them. But that's where I learned those these morals, values and good qualities that I still cherish.

How long have you been single?
It’s been a few years. My one serious relationship was quite intense. but I didn't know any different. Now that I have a little bit more experience I think in retrospect, he was doing things a bit too fast. I’ve learned a few things from that. It had been going fine, then after Valentine's Day, he ended it!

How did that make you feel?
Confused. Because, hello? Are you blind?

Are you a trusting person?
Unfortunately, I am very trusting. I love everyone, I bring everybody in, I trust everyone, and then I see the flags. Flag, flag, flag.

How are you at spotting a liar?
I don't think I'm going to be very good at spotting a liar. Because in my head, everybody's good. Everybody's nice. And unfortunately, that's my downfall as well.

What are your dating red flags?
I believe everybody changes. I'm the biggest example – If I look back, I think, “Who is that person?” But if you are a person that has cheated multiple times, that is a no go for me.  I'm not talking about one time when you were younger, in your first relationship. I'm talking if you've cheated quite a few times. I need to trust you. If that is a continuous behaviour, I don't know if I could work with that.

Have you ever cheated?
I've definitely made mistakes that I'm not proud of, but I've never cheated on somebody. I want to treat the person I am seeing or dating the way I want to be treated. And cheating for me shows me that you just you don't value me that much. You're not loyal to me, and I'm a loyal girl.

How do you feel about short-term romances?
I've never had a one-night stand in my life. I don't think I ever will. I don't know where you've been, what you've done. I don't even know if you shower!

Whats more important to you: love or money?
Can I not have both? I definitely value love AND money, but I think if I have love, I can make my own money.

How important is honesty in a relationship?
Honesty is very important to me. Like I said, if I can't trust you, I can't build anything with you. Simple as that.

Who would play you in a film of your life?
It would be Rihanna. As a young girl in north Italy, there weren't many black women on TV or superstars. people always said to me, “Oh, you're Beyonce or Naomi Campbell”. But when Rihanna came to the scene, because she was a bit younger, she became somebody that I looked up to a little bit.

Meet all of the Truetopians in The Honesty Box Press Pack.
The Honesty Box starts Monday 28 April at 9pm on E4.

ENDS