Big Society beards: facial fuzz returns to the cabinet

In 1905 the Liberal party defeated the unionist coalition of Conservative and Liberal Unionists in the general election – and so departed from cabinet the majestic full beard of Spencer Cavendish, Duke of Devonshire, and the “friendly mutton chops” of Lord Balfour of Burleigh.

On that day, one could surmise, a dream of bristly self-expression died in the Conservative party – that is, until today.

Stephen Crabb’s facial fuzz (he has been appointed new Welsh Secretary) may well embolden a generation of Tory cabinet members to be forthright with their follicles once again. Is this a new era of Westminster meets hipster?

If any cabinet members are looking for hairy inspiration, then Channel 4 News has ranked some of the great Conservative beards of the past.

A warning for the MPs – a recent survey said beards are more attractive the rarer they are.

Government goatee

As worn by: Benjamin Disraeli

Beard mass: 1/5
Grooming skill: 4/5
Hipster rating: 2/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 2/5

Manifesto mutton chops

As worn by: George Bentinck

Beard mass: 3/5
Grooming skill: 2/5
Hipster rating: 3/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 3/5

Chancellor chin curtain

As worn by: Edward Cardwell

Beard mass: 4/5
Grooming skill: 2/5
Hipster rating: 3/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 4/5

Filibuster French fork

As worn by: James Hamilton

Beard mass: 5/5
Grooming skill: 2/5
Hipster rating: 4/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 4/5

Frontbench friendly mutton chops

As worn by: Arthur Balfour

Beard mass: 3/5
Grooming skill: 4/5
Hipster rating: 3/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 4/5

Spad spade

As worn by: Richard Baggallay

Beard mass: 5/5
Grooming skill: 1/5
Hipster rating: 4/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 3/5

Voting Van Dyke

As worn by: Albert Kaye Rollit

Beard mass: 1/5
Grooming skill: 5/5
Hipster rating: 2/5
Likelihood opposition will laugh at you: 4/5