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TV Listings
Thursday 23 May
06:10 The HoobsRain: There's nothing a Hoob hates more than getting wet. But there must be some reason why all this water keeps falling out of the sky.
06:35 The HoobsWobble: Groove's collection of things that move is Hoobygroovy. He's got things that shake, things that shudder and things that spin.
07:00 According to JimWedding Bell Blues: Jim must find a replacement reverend for Dana's wedding after he accidentally knocks her favourite preacher unconscious.
07:30 Everybody Loves RaymondThe Bachelor Party: Debra and Marie give Raymond a guilt trip when they find out that the bachelor party he hosted for Robert was a huge disappointment.
07:55 Everybody Loves RaymondRobert's Wedding (Part One): When Peter attempts to bury the hatchet between himself, Robert and Ray, Robert suspects he's up to no good and asks Ray to watch him.
08:25 FrasierVoyage of the Damned: Frasier agrees to be a 'celebrity guest' on a cruise ship to Alaska, but then Martin decides that the whole family should go on the trip together.
08:55 FrasierMy Fair Frasier: Frasier dates beautiful, dynamic lawyer Sam Pierce (Lindsay Frost), but could their conflicting careers end their relationship before it's properly begun?
09:30 FrasierDesperately Seeking Closure: Frasier desperately tries to find out what went wrong when Sam breaks off their relationship.
10:00 Secret Millionaire USAWealthy property developer Marc Paskin leaves behind his peaceful beachfront life in San Diego to make a difference to those less fortunate than him in Detroit.
11:00 Come Dine with MeZoe Kellaway hopes to add a bit of sparkle to the competition in Bristol with her Pretty in Pink themed dinner party, including a butler in pink hot pants.
11:30 What's Cooking?Ben and Lisa's guests are chefs Rosemary Schrager and Luke Thomas, and radio host Richard Bacon.
12:35 Channel 4 News SummaryIncludes news headlines and weather.
12:40 1001 Things You Should KnowSandi Toksvig hosts the quiz in which experts ask questions the competitors should be able to answer. This show's inquisitors include the author Cecelia Ahern.
13:05 Sarah Beeny's Selling HousesThree competing homeowners in St Albans snoop around each other's houses looking for inspiration on how to improve their home with just one week to make improvements.
14:10 Four RoomsWill any of the dealers be tempted by an early seaside girlie machine, a sketch by Andy Warhol, the skeleton of a cave bear or a giant ammonite?
15:10 CountdownNick Hewer and Rachel Riley host as contestants race against the clock to pit their wits against vowels, consonants and numbers. Janet Street-Porter is in Dictionary Corner.
16:00 Deal or No DealNoel Edmonds asks the all-important question as contestants do battle with the Banker in their quest to leave the Dream Factory with £250,000.
17:00 Come Dine with MeIn Stoke, self-confessed snob Caroline Hicky takes on bank manager Paul Condliffe, down-to-earth bookie Linda Jackson, and scruffy hairstylist Jay Davies.
18:00 The SimpsonsInsane Clown Poppy: Homer and Bart take Lisa to a book fair to make up for attaching fireworks to her video. At the fair, Krusty meets his long-lost daughter, but it doesn't go well...
18:30 HollyoaksAn old friend rushes to Sinead's aid, but will her efforts be in vain? Martha's actions leave the Kanes destroyed, while Darren and Nancy attempt to reconcile.
19:55 4thought.tv4thought.tv asks 'Why give it all up for God?' Dominican friar Nicholas Crowe is sad when people see celibacy as unnatural, and says it's mistaken to see religious life as one of sacrifice.
20:00 Fat Family TreeIn a television first, Fat Family Tree sets out to unlock the secrets of an overweight family's genes in order to help resolve their lifelong weight problems. Presented by Dr Dawn Harper.
21:00 The Hunt for Britain's Sex GangsThe Hunt for Britain's Sex Gangs follows - with unprecedented access - Telford police in Operation Chalice, which was to become one of the biggest child sex abuse cases in the UK.
22:00 999: What's Your Emergency?There is one night when everyone's up for a party: payday. For the call operators at Blackpool's emergency control centres hearing about our payday excesses is a weekly occurrence.
23:05 24 Hours in A&EThe series that goes behind the scenes at King's College Hospital takes a moving - and sometimes light-hearted - look at when boys become men, and passing the baton between the generations.
00:05 Random ActsChannel 4's nightly short-form arts strand, showcasing films chosen for their bold and original expressions of creativity. Tonight, an animation with a dog who is anything but lucky.
00:10 SkintDocumentary series exploring how people survive without work. Claire became a mother in her teens and is worried about the same thing happening to her daughters.
01:10 Mary Queen of the High StreetIn the final episode of the three-part series, Mary travels to Liskeard in Cornwall, where her usual rocket pace and direct approach meets the laid-back Cornish attitude to life.
02:05 The Secret MillionsStraight-talking self-made millionaire Dave Fishwick works with the Foyer Federation on an initiative close to his heart, trying to help find work for people in deprived communities.
03:05 Inside Nature's GiantsThe BAFTA-winning team return for a new series, uncovering the secret of the camel's hump and examining its elastic legs, stretchy lips and the strange bump on its chest.
04:00 Unreported WorldUnreported World meets the young women in Bangladesh who are learning to be professional drivers but who face extraordinary odds, both on the dangerous roads and from social taboos.
04:30 Come Dine with MeCompeting for culinary supremacy in Carlisle are complementary therapy student Helen Speakman, boy band drummer Andy Bainbridge, DIY devotee Nigel Hawes and cake maker Deborah Nixon.
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09:00 Come Dine with MeCompeting to throw the best dinner party in Hampshire are college lecturer Selena Bartlett, punk rock vegan John Cosgrove, retired boat-lover Anson Lane and chatty hairdresser Terese Scott.
10:00 Come Dine with MeDerby is the location for this brand new episode. Taking part is talkative housewife Tori Yerbury, Canadian drama teacher Allison Hunt, babyfaced Tom Flannery, and prankster Jeff Foster.
11:00 Sarah Beeny's Selling HousesSarah Beeny offers her expert advice and £1000 to three homeowners competing to sell in Beckenham, Kent, and then brings potential buyer Greg round for a viewing.
12:00 Four RoomsCan any of the members of the public secure life-changing sums of money in return for a Star Wars script, an armistice message from World War I or a rare pistol from the Titanic?
13:00 The Secret MillionaireIT tycoon Dominic List leaves his luxury lifestyle behind to go undercover in Peckham. He attempts to help some of the people who are trying to provide an alternative to crime and gangs.
14:00 Secret Millionaire USAWealthy property developer Marc Paskin leaves behind his peaceful beachfront life in San Diego to make a difference to those less fortunate than him in Detroit.
15:00 Come Dine with MeZoe Kellaway hopes to add a bit of sparkle to the competition in Bristol with her Pretty in Pink themed dinner party, including a butler in pink hot pants.
15:30 A Place in the Sun: Winter SunLaura Hamilton goes property-hunting with Susan Mitchell and her best friend Sara Minton to find a holiday home on Gran Canaria.
16:30 Come Dine with MeIn Warwickshire it's the turn of PA Pinky Sidhu, who plans an evening of sophistication and pageantry in an effort to introduce her guests to the finer things in life.
17:00 Four RoomsWill any of the dealers be tempted by an early seaside girlie machine, a sketch by Andy Warhol, the skeleton of a cave bear or a giant ammonite?
18:00 Sarah Beeny's Selling HousesThree competing homeowners in St Albans snoop around each other's houses looking for inspiration on how to improve their home with just one week to make improvements.
19:00 George Clarke's Amazing SpacesGeorge meets Ruth Tidd, who is attempting to turn an old caravan that was once used as a chicken home into an ice cream parlour, then travels to Barcelona to look at a tiny studio flat.
20:00 Location, Location, LocationKirstie and Phil provide an update on two couples who came to them looking for the dream life in the country.
21:00 24 Hours in A&EThe series that goes behind the scenes at King's College Hospital takes a moving - and sometimes light-hearted - look at when boys become men, and passing the baton between the generations.
23:05 The Hunt for Britain's Sex GangsThe Hunt for Britain's Sex Gangs follows - with unprecedented access - Telford police in Operation Chalice, which was to become one of the biggest child sex abuse cases in the UK.
00:05 999: What's Your Emergency?There is one night when everyone's up for a party: payday. For the call operators at Blackpool's emergency control centres hearing about our payday excesses is a weekly occurrence.
01:05 SkintDocumentary series exploring how people survive without work. Claire became a mother in her teens and is worried about the same thing happening to her daughters.
02:05 Location, Location, LocationKirstie and Phil provide an update on two couples who came to them looking for the dream life in the country.
03:00 Fat Family TreeIn a television first, Fat Family Tree sets out to unlock the secrets of an overweight family's genes in order to help resolve their lifelong weight problems. Presented by Dr Dawn Harper.
03:55 Four RoomsWill any of the dealers be tempted by an early seaside girlie machine, a sketch by Andy Warhol, the skeleton of a cave bear or a giant ammonite?
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11:00 Benda Bilili!(2011) Inspirational documentary about a band formed in the Democratic Republic of the Congo by an alliance of street kids and older men left paraplegic by polio. In Lingala & French/subs.
12:40 The Professionals(1966) Action-packed western. Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan and Woody Strode star as soldiers of fortune hired by wealthy rancher Ralph Bellamy to rescue his kidnapped wife.
15:00 Mr Hobbs Takes a Vacation(1962) Comedy. James Stewart's plan for a peaceful vacation with his wife Maureen O'Hara doesn't quite materialise when she hires a crumbling old house and invites the whole family along.
17:15 Drums Along the Mohawk(1939) John Ford western with Henry Fonda as a farmer who marries Claudette Colbert and takes her to his farm in the Mohawk Valley, which is then attacked by Native Americans.
19:20 The Wedding Date(2005) Clare Kilner's witty romcom stars Debra Messing as the hopeless singleton who hires a male escort to attend her sister's wedding, where the best man is her former fiancé.
21:00 Beverly Hills Cop(1984) Cop Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) tracks his friend's killer to Beverly Hills and joins John Ashton and Judge Reinhold on the trail of a crime boss. Strong language/violence.
23:05 Man on Fire(2004) Violent thriller. Former CIA man Denzel Washington is trying to build a new life in Mexico. But when the girl he's guarding is kidnapped he seeks brutal retribution. Strong language.
01:55 In the Mood For Love(2000) Wong Kar-Wai's Cannes award-winning romantic drama stars Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung as neighbours who discover their spouses are having an affair. In Cantonese and Mandarin/subs.
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08:55 Grand Designs AustraliaPeter Maddison meets Michael and Sandy Rutledge, who plan to build a home that is a combination of Old World European and sleek, contemporary style at Gladysdale, east of Melbourne.
10:00 River Cottage BitesBite-sized films from River Cottage show how to create a range of culinary treats.
10:15 Location, Location, LocationKirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer visit Aberdeen to help two sets of house-hunters who have relocated to the Granite City. And both families are keen to quickly find their new home.
11:25 Doctor in Clover(1966) Leslie Phillips plays the would-be Lothario whose attempts to woo the hospital nurses leave him at loggerheads with his boss (James Robertson Justice).
13:25 Time TeamTony Robinson and the Team explore an unusual promontory on a beautiful stretch of the Northumbrian coast, where mysterious fragments of human bone have been found.
14:30 Time TeamTony Robinson and the Team get a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to dig in the hallowed grounds of Salisbury Cathedral, where they make discoveries that rewrite its history.
15:35 Location, Location, LocationKirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer hit the beaches and villages of Devon and the seaside town of Torquay, seeking homes for newly-weds Sam and Jamie, and football coach Geoff and his family.
16:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or AwayNikki and Alfredo are tired of life in Devon and looking for a home to raise a family. Will they choose to buy close to Nikki's family in Bath or near Alfredo's family in Lucca, Italy?
17:45 A Place in the Sun: Winter SunLaura Hamilton is house-hunting in and around Denia on Spain's Costa Blanca for a couple hoping to cash in on Spain's low house prices.
18:50 Come Dine with MeFour cooks battle it out in Scarborough in a week of loud suits, shoddy hosting, bad food, strong opinions, showgirls, a Laurel and Hardy tribute act, and an absolute belter of an argument.
19:55 Grand DesignsKevin McCloud revisits Robert and Milla a year after their ambitious Lake District eco home was on the verge of running out of money. Have the duo completed their visionary timber dwelling?
21:00 The Good WifeBrand new series - Death of a Client: When an erratic and litigious client is murdered in the street, the police ask Alicia for information about him to assist in their investigation.
22:00 NashvilleBrand new series - I Saw the Light: Rayna brings her children on tour, Juliette sees Dante in a new light, Stacey joins Deacon in New York, and Scarlett and Gunnar meet their new neighbour.
00:00 Come Dine with MeFour cooks battle it out in Scarborough in a week of loud suits, shoddy hosting, bad food, strong opinions, showgirls, a Laurel and Hardy tribute act, and an absolute belter of an argument.
01:05 The Good WifeBrand new series - Death of a Client: When an erratic and litigious client is murdered in the street, the police ask Alicia for information about him to assist in their investigation.
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06:00 SwitchedArtist Joshua plays lacrosse in a kilt and gets a manicure at an all-girls sleepover, while Darcy experiences life with a brother and sister, and snowboards for an indie video.
06:20 90210Winter Wonderland: Navid is convinced that Jasper pushed him down the stairs and asks for Adrianna's help to prove his theory.
07:05 Ugly BettyThe Born Identity: Wilhelmina's baby, William, is kidnapped and with Christina absent from work, people begin to suspect that she has taken him.
07:50 Desperate HousewivesI Guess This Is Goodbye: Lynette's waters break while she is confronting the strangler. Will he help her? Meanwhile, Susan prepares to leave Wisteria Lane.
08:40 ScrubsOur True Lies: A case of guilty conscience plagues the medical school when a student cheats in an exam and Dr Cox takes it out on the entire class.
09:10 Rules of EngagementEngagement Party: Audrey throws Jennifer and Adam an engagement party. Meanwhile, Audrey's sister Barbara (guest star Heather Locklear) is back in town.
09:40 90210Winter Wonderland: Navid is convinced that Jasper pushed him down the stairs and asks for Adrianna's help to prove his theory.
10:35 Ugly BettyThe Born Identity: Wilhelmina's baby, William, is kidnapped and with Christina absent from work, people begin to suspect that she has taken him.
11:35 CharmedLost and Bound: Paige brings home an orphaned boy who is a firestarter in order to protect him from demons who want to exploit his dangerous talent. Cole proposes to Phoebe again.
12:30 HollyoaksA heartbroken Martha makes a weighty promise, while Darren confides in an acquaintance close to his wife's heart about his part in recent events.
13:00 How I Met Your MotherThe Stinsons: The gang suspect Barney has a secret girlfriend when he rejects an attractive woman and they decide to follow him home, making a surprise discovery.
13:30 How I Met Your MotherSorry Bro: Lily and Marshall are dismayed when they hear that Ted is meeting up with his pretentious college girlfriend, Karen.
14:00 ScrubsOur Thanks: In the series nine finale, Cole identifies his true calling in surgery, Drew finds the love of his life and Lucy gets the inspiration to become a doctor.
14:30 ScrubsPilot: With his pre-med behind him, it's John 'JD' Dorian's first day as a medical intern at the busy Sacred Heart Hospital. But his new colleagues are more challenging than he imagined.
15:00 CharmedLost and Bound: Paige brings home an orphaned boy who is a firestarter in order to protect him from demons who want to exploit his dangerous talent. Cole proposes to Phoebe again.
16:00 Rules of EngagementTime Share: Adam and Jennifer agree to go away with Jeff and Audrey, even though they must sit through a timeshare sales pitch in order to get a deal on the trip.
16:30 Rules of EngagementJen at Work: Adam and Jennifer realise that living and working together is harder than they anticipated when he hires her to do some freelance work for his company.
17:00 How I Met Your MotherThe Stinsons: The gang suspect Barney has a secret girlfriend when he rejects an attractive woman and they decide to follow him home, making a surprise discovery.
17:25 How I Met Your MotherSorry Bro: Lily and Marshall are dismayed when they hear that Ted is meeting up with his pretentious college girlfriend, Karen.
18:00 The Big Bang TheoryThe Robotic Manipulation: Penny tags along to Sheldon's first date with a woman he's been texting for months. Howard finds a new use for a robotic arm.
18:30 The Big Bang TheoryThe Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification: Sheldon realises he won't live long enough to download his consciousness into a robot body, so he tries to extend his lifespan.
19:00 HollyoaksWill Tony go ahead with his plans when faced with an inconsolable Diane? Sandy's dinner party comes to an abrupt end with some shocking news, while Ste has a cunning idea.
19:30 How I Met Your MotherPurple Giraffe: Ted is feeling desperate when Robin doesn't turn up to a party he invited her to as a second date and he vows to continue throwing parties until she does.
20:00 The Big Bang TheoryBrand new series - The Monster Isolation: After a terrible date with Lucy, Raj vows never to leave his flat again. Sheldon asks Penny to help him record a new episode of Fun with Flags.
20:30 How I Met Your MotherBrand new series - The Ashtray: When Ted receives an unexpected voicemail message from his former love rival The Captain, the gang recall their last awkward encounter with him.
21:00 The New NormalBrand new series - About a Boy Scout: David goes on a hike in the countryside with a friend and his young son, and is overjoyed to be invited along on their Boy Scouts camping trip.
21:30 2 Broke GirlsBrand new series - And the Broken Hip: When a street performer sets up his puppet show in front of their cupcake shop, Max and Caroline fret that he will alienate their hip young customers.
22:00 What Happens in Kavos...Alcohol is on everyone's mind in a town where heavy drinking is often encouraged, but a night of boozing leaves a builder from York facing the possibility of losing a finger.
23:05 Fresh MeatA spate of muggings on campus leaves the gang concerned about their safety, while JP is confined to his bed with mumps. Kingsley makes an announcement that leaves Josie reeling.
00:00 The Big Bang TheoryThe Robotic Manipulation: Penny tags along to Sheldon's first date with a woman he's been texting for months. Howard finds a new use for a robotic arm.
00:30 The Big Bang TheoryThe Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification: Sheldon realises he won't live long enough to download his consciousness into a robot body, so he tries to extend his lifespan.
01:00 Happy EndingsSecrets and Limos: Dave is reluctant to introduce his new girlfriend to his friends. Brad's humourless boss puts him in an awkward situation.
01:30 What Happens in Kavos...Alcohol is on everyone's mind in a town where heavy drinking is often encouraged, but a night of boozing leaves a builder from York facing the possibility of losing a finger.
02:30 Fresh MeatA spate of muggings on campus leaves the gang concerned about their safety, while JP is confined to his bed with mumps. Kingsley makes an announcement that leaves Josie reeling.
03:10 The Ricky Gervais ShowKarl reminisces about an overabundance of breath mints throughout his childhood. After years of nursing a childhood leg injury, Karl visits a massage therapist with dubious credentials.
03:40 The Cleveland ShowLove Rollercoaster: Roberta is encouraged by her teacher to use her personality rather than her looks to get on in life and is persuaded to wear a fat suit.
04:00 Life UnexpectedHomecoming Crashed: Baze and Emma try to sign Candy, a high-profile client who only has eyes for Baze. Elsewhere, Lux goes to her homecoming dance hoping to see Eric.
04:40 Desperate HousewivesI Guess This Is Goodbye: Lynette's waters break while she is confronting the strangler. Will he help her? Meanwhile, Susan prepares to leave Wisteria Lane.
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07:00 THE BREAKFAST FIX: THURSDAY
Wake up with 4Music as we kick the morning off with the hottest tracks and the latest celebrity news and gossip.
09:30 2013'S BIGGEST HITS SO FAR!
It's already shaping up to be a bumper year for music and we're celebrating the very best of this magical 2013 pop crop right now.
11:00 KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS
When the Kardashian family head off on holiday to the Dominican Republic, Kourtney feels unwilling to commit to the trip and her dithering causes her, Kim and Scott to miss their flight.
12:00 IT'S ALL ABOUT FEELGOOD HITS! TOP 20
It's all about feeling good and what better way than with some great music videos featuring feelgood hits!
13:45 UKHOT40
Find out the UK's official number one as we count down the 40 biggest tracks of the week.
17:10 VIP TRACK OF THE WEEK!
This week's must-hear track as selected by 4Music.
17:15 HEAT'S POP VIDEO ANALYSED
Popstars beware! We're about to scribble all over your nice, shiny videos with facts and fun.
18:15 UKHOT40: URBAN CHART TOP 20
Just who owns the UK's official number one urban spot? Find out as we count down the 20 biggest tracks of the week and reveal all!
20:00 KOURTNEY AND KIM TAKE NEW YORK
Kim takes out her frustration with her marriage on her sisters and Scott. Khloé tries to help Kourtney and Scott get back into the same bedroom, and Kim eventually apologises to Khloé about the email she sent her.
21:00 KHLOE AND LAMAR
Lamar thinks that Khloé treats him like a child and hatches a plan to change her behaviour. Rob attempts to carve out his own professional life away from his sisters' influence.
21:30 KHLOE AND LAMAR
Khloé has reservations when Lamar receives an offer to play basketball in Turkey. Jamie tries to use his connections to land an acting job.
22:00 THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
Lonnie, a 33-year-old restaurateur, joins Patti Stanger's matchmaking club to seek out true love. Meanwhile, financial advisor Patrick gets some style advice before he hits the dating scene. On the big night, one of the millionaires gets a date with a model, but the other panics when his date fails to turn up on time.
23:00 8 OUT OF 10 CATS UNCUT
An extended edition of the comedy panel show hosted by Jimmy Carr, with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson thrashing out the hot stories of the week, joined by guests Vernon Kay, Tim Minchin, Joe Wilkinson and Rachel Riley.
23:50 FACEJACKER
Fonejacker's Kayvan Novak once again plays the man of mystery, but up close and personal with his subjects. Disguised with the aid of prosthetics, Kayvan showcases an amazing array of voices and characters who are thrust into real-life situations where they encounter unsuspecting members of the public.
00:20 VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Celebrity impression show mocking our beloved stars and satirising a culture bamboozled by trivia, gossip and regurgitated ideas, starring Morgana Robinson and Terry Mynott. The show features a cherry-picked ensemble cast and a topical sketch recorded in the week of transmission.
00:50 BALLS OF STEEL
Neg develops a new urban sport as he attempts to 'Make 'Em Move', the Annoying Devil gets busy interrupting people's leisure time, and Ross Lee becomes the World's Worst Barman.
01:35 SMACK THE PONY
Smack the Pony - the stylish, original and utterly uninhibited sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips. Distinctly contemporary. Decidedly maverick.
02:05 THIS WEEK'S HOTTEST NEW VIDS!
Stick with 4Music for a late-night playlist of the hottest new videos of the week.
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