I can’t decide which of these two men is the most masochistic – Guidolin for coming back for more, or Zamparini for knowing he’ll end up slashing the manager’s suits with a kitchen knife in a fit of pique. I wonder how many times Zampa has assured he’ll change, that he knows he was a fool and won’t do it ever again, that he never intended to hurt his beloved Coach. But the moment his side loses, there he’ll be in front of the cameras telling anyone who’ll listen that Guidolin is tactically incompetent, picks the wrong players and that dress makes him look fat. Probably not the latter, but you know what I mean.

“I respect him and I think that he appreciates me on a personal and a professional level," said Guidolin after accepting to renew his vows. No, no, no, girlfriend! Don't you come crying to me when he's dissing you in public again! Show some self-respect and stop acting like a guest on Jeremy Kyle!

It’s the children I feel sorry for. Those poor players and fans caught in the middle, trying to be extra good so their parents won’t fight. At each defeat it’s just the excuse those two need to start another blazing row and threaten walkouts. “We love you both, don’t make us choose!” they whimper clutching their pink and black scarves to mop up bitter tears. They’ve seen it all before and so have we.

Is it fourth time lucky, the perfect end to a tormented love story played out like a cheap airport novel? Or will Zamparini storm out the door saying “Francesco, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” We’ll have to wait and see. After all, tomorrow is another day.