Simon Hughes
Because they are inferior batsmen, tailenders usually wear all the
protective equipment they can lay their hands on. This is wise as there is no such thing as the fast-bowler's union and if they hang around for long, their appreciation of 'chin music' will be checked out to the full. They don't get much protection from umpires these days either. However, being padded up to the eyeballs causes other problems – once the batting team have been bowled out, there's not much time to get ready to take the field.
 Maximum protection
Darren Gough (left), well padded to face the West Indies. He's got an arm guard, two thigh pads and a chest pad. As the last batsman, he won't have much time to get it off before going out to bowl.
Quick change
Only ten minutes are allowed between innings (just enough time for the pitch to be rolled) and then it's on with the action again. This can make for some funny sights as the teams come into the pavilion. First in are the opening batsmen from the fielding side who for
the last half-hour have been pre-occupied with how they will play
the first ball when they bat. They now have about five minutes to
don batting trousers, pads, box, thigh pad, inner-thigh pad, arm guard, chest pad, helmet, inners
and gloves.
The opening batsmen are quickly
followed by the dismissed batsmen, one of whom is probably due to
open the bowling in eight minutes' time. This is almost a worse
predicament. Darren Gough picks up the story: 'I have got to get upstairs, undo all my batting gear, get my damp shirt off and socks off, put dry ones on, get a clean jock strap on, get my bowling trousers on, get the suncream on and lace up my boots. Then I realise I've forgotten my ankle brace, so I have to take off my boots and trousers again to get it on.'
Not surprisingly, he's usually last out of the dressing room hurriedly tucking his shirt in and zipping up his flies.
Copyright material reproduced under license from Macmillan Publishers Ltd. London, England
Copyright © Simon Hughes 2001
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