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[ Graphical page ] [ Home | Challenges | About Scrapheap | Forum | Links ] [ Credits | Apply for Scrapheap 2005 ]
[ The challenge and teams | Result | Anoraks' diary | Hoselliers' diary | Science | Related links ]
A sand what?
Stuck for words and staring into the lens of a camcorder. That's how the three of us began our Scrapheap adventure.
An audition with Naomi, a day's filming at Blackburn fire station and in no time at all, we were checking in to the Wee Waif hotel, looking forward to the first day.
An evening of beer and introductions to our expert, Duncan and our rivals, The Anoraks, was just what was required for the 6am minibus out to the heap.
Unable to bribe Duncan, the challenge was still a mystery to us. So, after a long wait and one take after another of the eight of us running about the heap, Robert's announcement came as a complete surprise. We had to build sand racers Ð and four-wheel drive was a no no.
For Spanner (our captain) and Sifter, both mechanically and off-road minded, there was no problem. But for me, resident welding guru, along for the crack, the next 10 hours were to be a blur of ball joints, track rod ends and suspension thingies.
Creating a masterpiece
After a Herculean effort, for which Duncan and Spanner were allowed into the heap, we managed to free our main donor vehicle, a Honda Civic automatic, from which we took the engine and gear box. The chassis was built from scratch.
Sifter and I did our best in ankle deep (or worse) mud to strip parts from various vehicles so that Duncan and Spanner could create our masterpiece.
It was the suspension that was to take up most of our time, cutting away at cars with the gas axe or lying back down in the puddles for a second take. Luckily, I was called back into the compound on welding duties, leaving Sifter to put up with a major hail storm and constant rain. It was to be Scrapheap's coldest and wettest day.
Although pushed for time we managed to fit in a chat or two with Lisa and Robert and, of course, some mild barracking of The Anoraks. A wet, muddy and miserable Lyndon kept a smile on our faces.
As the 10 hours drew to a close 'Olivia', as she was to be called, began to take shape. She was as close to a Baja Dune Buggy as a pile of scrap can become. All credit to Duncan for a great design but would Olivia be a match for the six-wheeled beast that lurked next door?
Midnight, and we downed tools. Rarely have I ever felt so tired and sore. It was a good job, then, that we had thought to buy a case of beer (the bar had closed) just to help us into our beds.
Taking the lead
Day two was supposed to be rest day but we enjoyed the majority of central London's inns. Rested on race day? I don't think so.
Day three was the race itself. Yet another mega early start and a trip out to a huge sand quarry. First things first, we needed to paint Olivia. We even tried to paint the Anoraks' beast, (which they had called ÔSix on Wheels') in our colours Ð but we were foiled.
We have by now learned that nothing happens fast in TV land. Which is just as well for The Anoraks, as ÔSix on Wheels' didn't seem to run very well. Unfortunately, The Anoraks' expert, Paul, was absent but Duncan came to the rescue and breathed some life into her.
The first race was the hill climb. Sifter was up it in a flash. Marc and ÔSix on Wheels' got stuck half way up. Shame.
The second race was two laps of a twisty, flat course. Spanner gunned Olivia around in a good time and, thanks to some more tinkering from Duncan, Marc was able to get ÔSix on Wheels' around in a good time Ð but not good enough to beat us. Our good run and the Anoraks' time penalties from the hill climb had given us a good buffer for the third and final race.
The final battle
Third race, this was it. Sharp bends, humps and bumps, ditches and a steep climb. Sifter went first and ran wide at the first bend, blaming himself for a mixture of adrenalin and anger that sent him off to the humps at a fair lick.
That first hump was to be our spanner in the works (although Sifter and I had thought all along that Spanner was the spanner in the works). The landing broke the front suspension and the loss of speed saw Sifter beached on the second hump and, after a push, stuck on the third. Once free, Sifter did an amazing job of getting Olivia home, with one wheel side on.
Upon examination, a weld was found to have failed (not this author's eh Captain?). C'est la vie.
Marc then put in a cracking lap for the Anoraks. All that remained was for the judges to work out the times.
Lisa's announcement didn't go our way. The time penalties etc gave the Anoraks a good lead Ð and victory. The battle was lost, but the spirit in which it was fought was the real victor.
If you're an ex-Scrapper, I hope that you've enjoyed this short account. If you're not, I hope this will inspire you to take the hardest step: applying.
The Hoselliers wish all the best to Geoff, Marc and Lyndon. Go Anoraks.
Mark McCracken (Crack)