Back-to-basics bodging

This is the story of the contest between two Scrapheap Challenge heavyweights. On one side are the winners of the 2000 series, the Brothers in Arms. On the other, the 1999 winners, the Megalomaniacs. The challenge is potentially dangerous, so the teams will have to incorporate safety modifications into their vehicles.

A delicate balance
The Megs decide to opt for a trike design against the more traditional dragster that the Brothers plan to field. Thus the heavyweight bikers are going for the lightweight option. The old Scrapheap motto – 'Power-to-weight ratio' – really comes into its own in this challenge as the teams tread a delicate balance between brawn and lightweight materials.

The Brothers plan to use double rear wheels to increase the rubber surface area in contact with the track. Meanwhile, the Megs manage to find a whole working bike on the heap – surely a Scrapheap first?

Colonel Dick commands his Brothers to find the biggest engine on the heap, and David duly returns with a monster V8. Despite the fact that it's ten times bigger than the bike engine they unearthed, the Megs are nonetheless happy with their 40hp effort.

The Brothers’ expert Andy Robinson conducts an olfactory analysis of the oil in their scavenged engine. Apparently, if it smells of toast, it’s good, but if it pongs of charcoal, it’s all burnt out. Andy pronounces the oil to be of reputable character.

The wrong horse
Judge Neal Davis, veteran adjudicator from Series 1 (Power pullers) and the Series 2 final (Walking machines), the noisiest and slowest challenges so far on Scrapheap, is now the umpire for the fastest. His money is on the Megs – but, remember, he backed the wrong horse on both previous occasions! Whether or not Neal’s patronage is a bad omen for the Megs remains to be seen, but the teams’ engines are certainly well matched in terms of the weights of vehicles they have to power.

The Brothers decide to get their axles from a postal van. These are heavy in comparison to the light Mini wheels that Kev of the Megs has found for their trike. The Megs decide to build their own rear axle, and for this, they find good bearings to go with some strong pipe.

Dick is worried about the coupling between the Brothers' drive shaft and motor. Cathy is worried that their dragster is just too heavy. The Megs are ever so slightly worried about their weight, too, and start to shave bits off their already very light vehicle. Actually, they are quite cocky, sure that they will beat the Brothers, despite allegations that one of their number has gone soft: Kev has just become a father, the baby named 'Stella' after the beer ...

With half the day gone, the Megs have half a bike, whereas the Brothers have a heavy engine and axles but no chassis for their six-wheeled monster. Soon, however, they find some heavy metal section from which they plan to fashion it.

Wobble
To get the Megs' chain drive working without any wobble coming into the design at the sprocket, captain Nosh devises a mechanism using a mounting template – some very delicate and precise engineering. The Megs seem very serious about retaining their champions’ crown.

Captains Dick and Nosh have a conference at the throne. Dick gives away some military secrets and Nosh lets slip information about Daz’s bike-racing track record and that he will be their driver. This gives Dick something other than his team’s weight problem to think about – after all, he is going to be in the hot seat against demon dragster driver Daz.

Judge Neal still has his money on the Megs since they have been building light from the beginning. Dick’s dinosaur will have to have enough power to compensate for this difference if it is to have a chance. The automatic gearbox might also be a handicap, muses Neal.

It’s not the winning but the taking apart
With three hours to go, the Megs find that they had fitted their rear wheels a bit prematurely: their rear axle assembly has to be stripped down to fit the chain and sprocket. Despite this, Cathy and Robert surmise that, in the year since Series 2, the Megs have attended the Swiss Engineering Finishing School as they now work with an hitherto undreamed of level of finesse, even doing mathematical calculations like the NERDS.

The Megalomaniacs fit a wheelie bar to their trike to prevent it flipping at the starting line. Much to the shared surprise of scrutineers Robert and Cathy, they find the Megs’ measurements to be millimetrically perfect. The Brothers are, meanwhile, adding even more weight with the mounts for their heavy V8 engine. They also sort out the brakes, steering and safety cage. But when they actually come to start their engine, it doesn’t want to cooperate – despite earlier passing expert Andy’s ‘toast not charcoal’ smell test!

The Megs have spent nine hours sorting out the rear end of their trike and now find themselves with only one hour to finish the rest. Their 'to do' list includes: fixing the seat; attaching the roll cage; sorting the harness; and connecting the brakes.

With just 30 minutes to go, the Brothers get their V8 growling. There is, on both sides, the customary frenzied welding and showers of sparks right up until the end, but of course, everything comes together in time.

Brake-fast of champions
A large crowd of Scrapheap alumni come to cheer on the teams. This is, in many ways, a dream contest for any Scrapheap team to be involved in – it’s old school, back-to-basics, big block bodging at its best. Neal still has his money on the Megs, but thinks that both machines are now quite evenly matched.

The teams must complete the eighth-of-a-mile course in the fastest time. They are racing the clock, not each other. This means that, even though one team might cross the finishing line first, the other team could still be in with a chance.

In the first of three heats, Dick stalls on the line, leaving Daz to complete the course alone. He manages 11.2 seconds reaching 61mph, which, as Neal rightly observes, is incredible for a scrap machine.

The Brothers’ engine is OK, but that automatic gearbox has come up to bite them in the rear. Only the reverse gear still works, so Colonel Dick does the only sensible thing and elects to do a run backwards up the track. He manages a respectable 19.7 seconds at a top speed of 30.9mph.

Sportsman-like spirit
The Megs are almost as disappointed as the Brothers as they want a proper race. Someone from the crowd – Si Holder, the Driller Thrillers’ expert from Series 2 (Land yacht) – suggests that the Brothers rotate their rear axle so that they will get forward thrust – a plan so simple, it must be good. The Megs even lend their expert, Brian, to the beleaguered Brothers to get things sorted. With such a sportsman-like spirit in evidence, these teams certainly deserve to be competing for the title of champion of champions in Scrapheap Challenge 2000!

Round 2 sees the Megs reach 61.3mph in 11.14 seconds, whereas the Brothers manage 11.49 seconds and achieve a top speed of 48.8mph. Going forwards in reverse seems to have reversed the Brothers’ fortunes, and Driver Dick streams away from the start ahead of the Megs. Daz catches up, though, but it is very close indeed with only three-tenths of a second in it.

Brian gives Daz a tip for Round 3. As he accelerated at the start, the trike bounced, losing some of that all-important traction. With everything to play for, Brian suggests that Daz 'get it up there on the last one; hold it there screaming,' meaning that Daz should open the throttle fully and drop the clutch rather than accelerate from a standing start. As for the Brothers, they are reaching maximum speed half way up the track with no higher gear to change into.

Cracking speed
As Round 3 approaches, Daz comes bounding up to the line, revving the trike for all it’s worth, determined to beat his previous times. As the 'Christmas tree' starting lights signal green for 'Go!', both machines fly from the line. Again, the Brothers in Arms take the early lead but, this time, maintain it until the end.

Since the teams are not racing one another but the clock, they have to wait for the computer to decide who has won. Even the driver duo of Dick and Daz are unclear about who has done it. Accompanied by Cathy, they approach the scoreboard simultaneously.

The Brothers have raced spectacularly with a time of 11.5 seconds and a top speed of 48.44mph. However, Daz got the Megs' trike up to a cracking 60.8mph and takes the race and indeed the cup with a time of 11.2 seconds. As Millennial champions of Scrapheap Challenge, the Megalomaniacs will be able to keep their trophy for life.

Be sure to reserve a seat in front of your telly on Sunday, 17 December at 5.30pm to see the Megalomaniacs defend British pride against the winners of the American version of Scrapheap – Junkyard Wars.

Home | The challenge | The teams | The result | The science | Links

^ top