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The divorce rate is rocketing and yet more of us than ever give answers to surveys saying that the one thing we want is lifelong love.
Four year itch
When our distant ancestors roamed the plains of Africa from about five million years ago, females stayed faithful to their men until their infants were about three years old. This strategy ensured that mother and infant were protected and provided for, after which ancestral mums would have been free to frolic with other mates. Then it would have been advantageous for females to maximise genetic variation in their offspring by choosing different fathers. This, at least, is the view of Professor Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, New York.
The question is, has the four year itch left a legacy in our behaviour today? Remember that heart-pounding first flush of love? Sadly, Fisher's research shows that even in today's society, these delicious feelings tend to subside within two to four years. So, if it is a lifelong partnership you're after, what do you do after the chemistry fades?
Head not heart
There are no straightforward answers to 'what makes a relationship work'. But, social psychologist Dr Pepper Schwartz has picked up on some key factors that are important if you are to achieve a lasting pair bond. She strongly believes that 'love is not all you need' and asks us to use our heads as well as our hearts when choosing a mate.
The data was the result of a survey of 21,000 couples in the USA and Canada. Researchers compared the answers given by the 'happiest' couples to those given by the least happy and found that the differences in responses to a few key questions said a lot about what makes love work.
Check list
Next time you have that tummy-turning moment — have an eye to the future and check whether you agree to at least some of the statements below before you take the plunge.