Interview with Mike Couillard

Mike was lost on a cold mountain for nine days, on the seventh day he decided to leave his 10-year-old son in a cave and go for help.

Age: I'll be 50 this August, yikes! But it beats the alternative I guess, and trust me, I've seen the alternative!

Occupation: Business development and marketing

How long did it take you to recover from the physical and mental trauma of your ordeal?

We were in the hospital for over two months. I had a skin graft to cover tendons at the 5th metatarsal (5th toe) of my left foot. Meanwhile Matthew lost his 5th toe, and the very tip of the 4th on his right foot.

I never suffered from any major mental trauma. I attribute this to the element of my faith (God is in control) and to the outstanding post trauma counselling we received. We both (Matthew and I) had sessions independently and the two of us together to work through some of the issues we faced and of course as our physical recovery progressed (in hospital at Incirlik Air Base, southern Turkey), we spent a lot of time together as family, which was the best medicine.

Has the experience changed you?

How could it not? In some ways, this experience has had a profound impact and has given me a perspective on living life to the fullest. Don't worry, I still have my bad days, but I don't sweat the small stuff near as much as I used to. And, as they say, it's pretty much ALL small stuff. I live more in the present moment, though again, in the past I've been prone to dwell on, and worry about the future. Something I sort of have to keep revisiting and reminding myself. Every now and then I catch myself getting ahead of myself and have to make a conscious decision to return to the present.

In other ways, I'm very much the same person, just more so. This 'adventure' reinforced my pre-existing faith and put some dormant beliefs in motion, and even to the test. My trust in God as someone who loves me and takes care of me even when I mess up was my anchor in those 10 days. In many ways, my life since this event is an opportunity to apply and keep walking in this trust, in the context of experiences that are sometimes mundane, sometimes profound.

How often do you think about it?

Not one day goes by that I don't think about this experience in some way. It's a daily constant reminder to me that 'I can do this', especially knowing that the creator of the universe is on my side. Nice to know that it's not all on me, and that in my weak moments when I'm feeling overwhelmed by 'life' I can get some help.

Has it had an affect on your relationship to Matthew?

It's taught me about Matthew's quiet strength and I'm immensely proud of how he hung in there through this ordeal, especially in those last couple of days when we were separated. I didn't know what to expect when I was unable to get back to him. Had no idea what his physical or emotional state would be when he was finally rescued. I'm delighted to say that he kept a cool head and I was very thankful when he was returned to me and he was in good shape. I'm so proud of him. He's a hero in my eyes.

We're both on the introverted side so we don't spend tons of time talking about this every day, but there's an unspoken mutual respect and pride in each other for having conquered this beast of a situation. And I'm sure there's a bond between us forged in the fire of this adversity.

Do you think it was your mental attitude that enabled you to survive out there?

Yes, absolutely. The will to survive is THE most crucial ingredient. Whenever I tell our story I like to say that there wasn't any great magical thing we did. Mainly we hung in there and I used a few basic, simple survival skills, over and over again, until ultimately we were found.

I also like to tell another story, of another man's survival. The very next year, a friend sent me a newspaper clipping. It turns out a Turkish man was lost for six days on a backcountry skiing expedition. When they found him, one of the first things he said was: 'I kept thinking of the American, and I figured if he could do it so could I!' Heart-warming. I was blessed to find I had this kind of impact.

On this note, I'm amazed at how often I get the question 'What would I do?' which in essence means 'Could I do it?'. I'm usually a little uncomfortable with that question. I've concluded there's know way of knowing what one individual can and will do until confronted with a specific situation or set of circumstances. One thing for sure, I'm solid in the conviction that any one of us can do amazing things if we find ourselves in a situation where we have to.

Finally, a confession. After a week or so of doing everything in my power to survive, and after three helicopters failing to find us, I began to question whether we would be found soon enough. Morbidly, I even began to reconcile with the notion of death. Oddly, I wasn't afraid, something I attribute to a certain amount of God's grace for the moment. At the low point of our experience, though, I believe I clearly heard God's encouraging voice and a promise that we wouldn't die on this mountain. I was so certain that I had heard right, it totally changed my attitude. If God made me this promise, I would do everything in my power to cooperate. That very next day, I left Matthew behind in search of help. God's promise was the anchor that helped me to stay positive even when things didn't look too pretty in those last couple of days.

Is there anything you wish you'd have done differently?

Um, well, I wish I had rolled over and slept in that morning (just kidding).

Seriously, though, there's always something you wish you had done differently, something you wish you had tried, or something you wish you hadn't done. For example, with 20/20 hindsight I can say it would have just been better if we had stopped sooner, reversed course to follow our tracks back up the mountain, and rode the lift back down to the resort.

By my own admission, my personality makeup is such that I typically second guess about everything I do, and certainly this 'adventure' is rife with enough material to beat myself up for years. From that standpoint, writing a book about the experience (Miracle on the Mountain) has been therapeutic. In so doing I was able to revisit every decision I made with the information I had at the time, and I can't fault myself too much. We got caught in a situation, with the weather playing a major part in our getting lost. As I look back I did way more things right than wrong and believe those things played a major role in us surviving. I didn't give up, we persisted, and I used the skills and training I had to the best of my ability.

Do you still go skiing as a family?

Yes! In fact, we have made it a point to celebrate our rescue with a trip to the mountain each year. The first anniversary, 24 January 1996, Matthew wasn't quite ready. So we didn't push him. Instead, Mary and I went on a day trip. Funny thing – it was a cold, miserable, windy, cloudy, snowy day. Déjà vu! After one run we beat a retreat to the lodge for a cup of hot tea. I turned to Mary and said, 'Well, we did it. You ready to go home?' And we did.

The next year, Matthew had gotten excited about snowboarding. So 24 January 1997 was our first total family celebration, the kids all on snowboards and Mary and I on skis.

Of course I insisted that each of us strap on a fanny pack loaded with survival goodies.

What advice would you offer to anyone wishing to ski in the wilder parts of the world?

A certain southern American expression comes to mind: 'Y'all be careful out there, hear?' Seriously, I would say don't let undue fear prevent you from taking risks and doing something in pursuit of your deepest passions. I haven't stopped doing certain things for fear that I will get myself in trouble. Instead of fear I find a healthy respect for whatever situation I intend to tackle, whether it's climbing one of our tallest mountains in Colorado, or getting ready to fly my open cockpit single seat sport plane. Be adequately prepared and equipped, but go ahead and do it without looking back.

Interview with Matthew Couillard

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