WARNING! This page contains strong language. You must be over 18 to proceed. If you think Jay's vile, you should meet his dad.

Right, hello bitches. My name’s Jay. First off, this is not one of those blogs that twats write to make them feel like they've achieved something with their lives. "Ooh this is what I think, isn't it important, but also funny." No, it's not. It's embarrassing. No one cares. Grow up. Stop clogging up the internet, you're taking up valuable porn space. Blog twats.

Facts worth knowing:I get a lot more sex than you. Fact.When I was twelve I thrashed Lewis Hamilton to become National Karting Champion. Fact. At Glastonbury, Liam Gallagher asked me where I got my clothes. Fact.Neil's house stinks. Fact.

TV: South Park, Strutter, Laid Bare, Sexcetera, Babestation,

Film: Anything with Vin Diesel in it, Porn, South Park, Borat, It’s all gone Pete Tong (pretty much based on my summer holiday last year)

Books: Are you mad, you twat?