The stars of The Family share their real-life experiences exclusively with Channel4.com.
In this final diary entry, Shay shares her memories of her and Sunny's wedding day, which took place on August 8, 2009.
Shay's Story - The Big Day
December 23, 2009
Since Sunny and I have been together the 8th of every month is very important to us. Sunny always takes me out for dinner, out for the evening as well as writes me a poem. It goes above and beyond my each month and we have always seen this as our little catch up on a monthly basis. The 8th is a day that we both spend together and talk about our relationship and if we're both happy! It's also a date that we tend to look back and laugh at all the things we have done. However, this 8th was even more special because it was the date that Sunny and I were going to the Gurudwara to do our Lavan (wedding vows) something we have planned for the past 6 years.
I was overwhelmed with excitement, jubilation and a sense of nervousness as to what the day would bring. As many brides will tell you your wedding day goes by too quickly and as hard as I tried to enjoy every second of it - it was over too soon!
Sunny and I made a decision that although we were married legally doing the Indian wedding was the most important step for us to move forward in our lives and I think neither of us realised how much it meant to the rest of the family as well.
Like all weddings this was definitely a family affair - from dad sorting out the all important alcohol for the 4 day wedding event, to Tindi arranging all the music along with DJ for a 600 people venue to mum sorting everything in general the wedding flew by!
I always said that Jaskaranjeet (or Baby Caine as Sunny and I call him) would be here for the wedding and although he was in hospital growing as he was premature we all knew he was there and he was safe. Bhavika was good on the day too although she did get upset with Sunny and I during our wedding vows as we couldn't talk to her but we certainly made up for it on the dance floor with her!
The significance of the Lavan (wedding vows) was paramount to us both as it is when two souls became one - when Sunny and I became one. Our Guru says, 'They are not husband and wife who only have physical contact; rather they are wife and husband who have one spirit in two bodies'.
It was the happiest and saddest day of my life as I deeply yearned for my father. I have felt the absence of his warmth since he has passed away however have always felt that Sunny has managed to fill that void with his love and as my father's family told me I couldn't have chosen someone better than Sunny. In some respects, I believe that my father sent Sunny to me.
There are many moments from the wedding which I will cherish forever however the moment that I always thought about was the moment when my Pala (long fabric) was tied to Sunny. This signifies a father giving his daughter away to the groom. I had somewhat dreaded this moment since my father died as I knew he wouldn't be there but when my brother Bhaji Babbu tied it I felt that my father was there. Sunny's mum has always said to me that sometimes in life there are certain things we need to do before we are fully complete, there are certain things that are left undone and it was at this moment that I felt complete. In front of all my family and friends I was now tied and bound to Sunny for life and I will cherish this forever.
I have realised that true family is always there and actually my true blood was there when I needed them the most. I am thankful to Vaheguru Ji (God) for giving me such a beautiful husband and in-laws and will cherish them for as long as I live. I am thankful for everything mum and dad did for both Sunny and I on the wedding day as well as all the support that they have given us over the past 6 years!
My father's sister, my Poi Ji (aunt) was there for me and very emotional on the wedding day as she said that had my father been alive he would have said look forward not back and enjoy this new life with your new family and I have taken her advice and am looking forward to what the future holds with Sunny.
Thank you all for being a part of my Big Day and I am so humbled by all the support that I have received and as this is the last diary note The Grewals would like to say thank you to Channel 4 especially Simon Dickson who basically saw the true Grewals and supported us all the way as well as the press team's Gavin and Charlotte we expect you around for tea. We'd also like to thank Dragonfly and all the crew who lived in our back garden especially Sanjay Singhal, David Clews, Beejal Patel and Jonathan Smith for allowing us to share our special moments with you and thank you all (the public) for your love and support! Do keep in touch by following our next steps on our website www.thegrewalfamily.com
Lots of Love,
Shay xXx
Take a look at some great pics from Shay and Sunny's wedding album
Tindy's Story - Out and About...
December 18, 2009
Hey Guys,
Just thought I'd let you know what I've been up to since the show has been out.
First of all, thank you all for the support you have shown - we have been overwhelmed with the response, we really did not think this many people would watch the show, so once again thank you.
As I run my own DJ business called Sound Label UK and am out clubbing a lot, I am in the party scene most of the time and everyone is showing so much love. They keep talking about the show and asking if my mum knows if I am out - lol. It's weird as I now feel that my mum has so many spies around me. Also, if I have DJ'd at one of your parties since the show then thank you for making me feel like I was around my own family.
It's been 7 weeks since the show began and we have been promoting the show quite a lot - we've all been on radio and TV for interviews. I think that being on Harry Hill's TV Burp was definitely a highlight! It has been a very exciting time for me personally because I love that lifestyle so although its only the fifteen minutes of fame I will remember this for the rest of my life. I feel very humbled as Sound Label UK have recently been hired to provide a full DJ set for a Bollywood fundraising evening for the Charity Lepra Health In Action. Being out and about with my family is great and I get to do what I enjoy - party!
Hopefully I'll see you guys around whether that is at a club or at function that you have hired me for. Please do come say hello it would be great to hear your views on the show.
Tejind
Jeet's Story - New Doors Open
December 15, 2009
Last week Saturday we were having a lazy day in, Kaki was cooking and I was playing on my Playstation, Bhavi was running around making a mess as usual and the new born was looking at the lights on the Christmas tree and smiling away.
At this point my phone was ringing and with all the noise I didn't hear it. When it rang again Kaki called out from the kitchen, 'Baba, your phone is ringing in the bedroom'. As I walked to pick up the phone I didn't realize that this phone call was going to open new doors for me.
I was a bit shocked at what I was hearing on the phone and with Bhavi singing and dancing in the background was making it hard to listen. It was Taj-E from The Sound Pipe Records wanting to sign me up for an album. I was shocked and said, 'Are you sure it is me you want?' I couldn't understand why he wanted to sign me up and kept on asking him all these questions. Taj-E explained how Bee 2 and he had heard me singing on The Family programme numerous times and after episode 5 decided to work with me.
As I got off the phone, I ran to the kitchen and gave Kaki a hug with a big smile on my face and told her everything. She was so excited and could not believe it. She had always said I had a good voice. We both hugged our children and gave them a big kiss.
The next day we went to The Sound Pipe studios and I was told to sing a few more songs and the next thing I knew it I was doing the photo shoot. Now I'm in the studio working hard but enjoying every minute of it, and I hope the end result is one that can be enjoyed by everyone.
The reason I agreed to do The Family programme was to capture the special moments of our lives which we can treasure for the rest of our lives and gift it to our children when they grow up. I never thought that this programme would open new doors for me, dreams which Kaki always dreamt of.
Thank you all at Channel 4 and Dragonfly.
Jeet's single - Zara Bachke (Just Watch Out) - will be released soon via The Sound Pipe Records.
Sarbjit's Story - A Christmas Wish
December 9, 2009
Hi Everyone!
Since the show has begun I have received so much love and support and I wanted to thank all the people that let us into their homes. God bless you all and I hope all your dreams come true and you get whatever you want in life.
I went shopping with Sunny the other week and was so surprised by the love everyone showed me. I bumped into a lady who was really excited to meet me and asked me for my autograph. I couldn't believe that she wanted it and I didn't know what to write, but out of everyone I have met so far she really touched my heart.
After she asked me for my autograph, she realised she didn't have a pen. I searched through my bag and I didn't have a pen either. I was on my way to the bank so the lady said to me, 'You go to the bank and I will go and buy a pen and paper.'
As soon as I walked in to the bank with Sunny people recognised us and started talking to us. Even the staff came over to say hello and gave me hugs. Something that should have taken us five minutes to do ended up taking 45 minutes.
As we left the bank and walked outside, the lady was stood there waiting in the freezing cold. I couldn't believe it. She had waited and waited just for me and I didn't understand why. As I walked towards her, she gave me a Christmas card and asked me to sign it with a Christmas message. I was so shocked that she'd waited for me that I just didn't have any words to write - I was so humbled by her actions. I had made Christmas wish come true by just signing a card!
Eventually, she wrote the message and I signed it - she said to me, 'I'm going to frame this and tell everyone I met you. Please always stay strong and make another series. I'm scared of what will happen when this finishes as I don't know what I'll watch!' She told me she loved me and that I was her favourite. I couldn't believe it!
I'm just Polly who loves her family. I never thought that in my life and at this age I would ever be approached by strangers and be shown such love. Thank you - you've all shown me that I'm doing something right in my house and I'm so proud of my family!
Right, I now need to get on with some cooking hopefully I will speak to you all soon.
Polly xXx
David's story - Caught in the Middle
December 1, 2009
We had been filming with the Grewals for a month when Sarbjit and Sunny asked if I could show the family some of the footage we had already filmed. Making this series is such a huge undertaking, with 28 cameras placed around the house, and a production team camped out in their back garden, so I completely understood why they wanted to see how they looked and were intrigued with what we were doing.
During filming, myself and the producer Beejal Patel would occasionally go into the house, to make sure everyone was ok and talk about what the family were doing over the coming weeks. This way we could plan what we were going to film outside the house, and arrange times to do the interviews, which make up part of the series. We stayed out of the house as much as possible, conscious our presence would alter normal family life.
However on this particular evening Beejal and I went around to the Grewal's house with a DVD containing about six minutes of roughly edited material. One scene for instance was Shay threading Arvinder's nose hair (this is in programme three - if you missed it, check out this clip). We were planning on showing the DVD and then leaving the family to their night at home, so the production team were still in the gallery recording what was happening.
To be honest when we entered the house I never would have guessed I'd end up using the footage of the family watching the clips and including myself and Beejal in the series. But events unfolded in a very different way from how I imagined, as you can see in episode five. When I looked back at the material a few weeks later I asked myself a number of questions: Was it a mistake to show the Grewals the footage? Was I to blame for the argument that took place between Sunny and Jeet? And what were the truths at the heart of the disagreement?
We certainly were an unfortunate catalyst for what happened. Everyone sat down to watch the DVD except Jeet, who as a Bollywood actor never liked seeing himself on screen. The selection of scenes included everyone in the family but because Jeet hadn't watched them, it seems insecurities about his acting days agitated him. So what started out as a simple hour with the family quickly turned into a family drama with Beejal and I caught up in the middle of it. As filmmakers we try and observe life, not disturb it, but sometimes events happen that you can't help get involved in.
Ultimately the disagreement between Sunny and Jeet wasn't about us or the DVD, so as long as we were transparent about how the evening began, which meant including me and Beejal, I felt it was important the scene remained in the series. All families have arguments from time to time and the Grewals are no different. They are very proud of their family and the loving bonds between them so I know they are also comfortable with us exploring universal themes of family life that are sometimes more difficult to watch, like everyone living under one roof and the tensions this can sometimes bring.
So that's some background on episode five. I'm incredibly proud of the film, in fact the entire series. Make sure you keep watching. We've got some fantastic programmes still to come. Episode six is definitely one of my favourites, when the Grewal's have an unexpected house guest with some hilarious consequences. Episode seven takes a very dramatic turn for Kaki, Jeet and the entire family and is incredibly moving. And Sunny and Shay's big day finally arrives in episode eight, the wonderful series finale.
Kaki's story - The Warmest Welcome
November 18, 2009
This pregnancy was hard for me and nothing like my first pregnancy - watching myself on TV last Wednesday made me realize what my husband Jeet had had to put up with during the time I was pregnant. At the end of the programme, you may have heard me say to Jeet, "this pregnancy is hard for me and I need all the support I can get as it can get worse for me" - and it did!
I was at home last week and not going out because of the kids – after the programme was shown, I noticed that the response I got on the internet was very negative. As I am not kind of person who argues all the time, I got depressed with the comments I read - and Jeet was there once again to support me and reassure me that, "it was your hormones, not you".
I was afraid to go out after that as I thought people would hate me, but Jeet and I had four shows on at the Waterman's Theatre and he insisted we go. All the shows were full and I was scared that I'd get booed from the audience. I asked Jeet not to call me on stage at the end of the performance, but he did.
He announced my name and said, "Now I would like to call upon Gurdip Kaur Chaudhary who is writer of this play and mother of my two beautiful kids". He further said, "My hormonal wife who told me off a lot in the last episode, ladies and gentleman Gurdip Kaur Chaudhary". I was so scared that I decided to run back to the green room. I was just standing offstage and Jeet said, "Where are you?" and I heard the whole audience call out "Baba!" which put a smile on my face.
I walked on to the stage with my two kids Bhavika and Jaskaranjeet with my heart beating very fast, and I got the warmest welcome ever from the audience. I stood next to Jeet and whist putting his arm around me, he said, "It's a husband wife team", and all the audience clapped.
Since then, Jeet and I have been stopped in the shops and on the streets by people asking to take pictures with us. And I've had positive feedback from lots of women saying that they relate to me and understand how hard pregnancy can be.
Pregnancy can really take it out of you and you may do or say things that you don't mean. In this difficult time you need a partner who can support you in your highs and lows and my husband Jeet was there through my hardest times - that's why he is my soul mate.
Read more about Jeet and Kaki's theatre group here.
Sunny's story - The Man with a Shadow
Sunny - who works as a security officer at Heathrow airport - tells the story of an encounter with a man who'd watched episode one of The Family.
November 11, 2009
I was working on the concourse in Heathrow last week and a man walked through the archway with his arms wide open. He kept walking towards me with his arms wide open - he then gave me a hug and started to cry.
I thought, 'Easy Tiger - that's a bit too close for comfort!' as he moved away and wiped the tears from his eyes he said, 'I loved the show, you are the guy from The Family aren't you?' and I replied, 'Yes'.
He then continued with excitement and tears in his eyes, "The statement your father made in the first show made me realise that the times are changing and that I have to change with them. After watching your show and everything that happened with you and your wife Shay I decided to pick up the phone and ring my son."
He explained that his son lived in Los Angeles and he hadn't seen or spoken to his son in 4 years. The show had made him realise what he had lost and, after watching it last week, he'd spent the next two hours speaking to his son. As a result, his son had booked him onto the next flight to Los Angeles.
The man hugged me and said, 'It's all because of the show'. I had tears in my eyes and was so humbled and overwhelmed to hear that our show had touched someone and brought a broken family back together. I tried to hold my tears back and said, 'Don't waste any more time and get on that plane... it's already been too long... please give your grandson a hug from me and The Family'. He was catching a flight to see not only his son but his grandson whom he hadn't seen since he was born. He hugged me again and walked away with joyous tears in his eyes.
It's so humbling to know that although Shay and I have lost her family, our story has encouraged others to build bridges and go back to their families. Shay's love for me and my love for her is what has kept us together and it was clear to see in this man's eyes that his love for his son was eternal - he'd never stopped loving his son. It seemed like a shadow had been lifted from him after 4 years of silence and distance from his only son.
