Of the 880,000 stepfamilies in the UK (around one in ten of all families with children) 690,000 have offspring living at home.
Of those, 86% have stepchildren from the woman’s previous relationship, 11% have stepchildren from the man’s previous relationship and just 3% have children from both parent’s previous relationships.
Parentline Plus top tips for successful stepfamilies:
• Value those around you. Remind everyone that relationships need to be worked at.
• Teenagers can be difficult, especially when it comes to discipline, so don’t always assume that the problems arise from the forming of a stepfamily.
• If you are a new stepmother or stepfather and children aren’t being welcoming, it might just be because having a new person in their parent’s life suggests to them that their original family is never going to get back together again. Give it time for them to get used to the new arrangements.
• Family obligations like caring for elderly or frail relatives can be particularly complicated for stepfamilies. Make time to plan what you have to do and what you can share out with others.
• If you’re getting married, try to find a role for the children in the wedding arrangements. This will make them feel included in the changes to their family.
• A death in a stepfamily can act as a reminder of the different relationships in the extended family. Try not to resent it if you’re excluded from any events that you can’t reasonably be a part of.
• Remind stepchildren that they could gain additional friendship and support through their step parents friends and family.
• Make time for yourself. Time is needed for a new stepmother or stepfather to be alone to strengthen your relationship – the key to the stepfamilies success.
Links:
• Parentline Plus - http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/
• Care for the Family - http://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/
• Relate - http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html
• Kids in the Middle - http://kidsinthemiddle.org.uk/
