A person with an eating disorder rarely suffers alone. The ripples extend beyond the individual to close family and friends, work and school.
For bystanders, the ripple effect can bring up difficult feelings of helplessness, confusion, frustration and guilt, often leaving close ones drained of emotional and physical energy and unsure how to offer support.
If you know someone with an eating disorder, take a moment to think honestly about the impact it has on you and how it makes you feel. It may bring up your own issues around food, or remind you of experiences within your family around eating. These feelings are important to be aware of and can help you to find strategies to support yourself. The following areas may be helpful to think about:
Learn about eating disorders: The more you know, the more it will help you to understand how you can offer reasonable support and what may not be useful. It's not just about food; understanding that there are emotional issues underlying the illness can help.
Be patient: It can take a long time for eating disorders to develop so any recovery is unlikely to be quick. Look for gradual changes weekly rather than daily.
Be aware of your limitations: You can only offer support if someone is ready to make changes. Talk about the weather! It’s easy to fall into habit of talking about food, calories or weight, so introduce neutral topics of conversation such as music or travel to shift the focus.
Network: Don't be uncomfortable to ask family and friends to help. You'll be building a supportive network around you.
Find new interests: Learning a new skill can increase self esteem - look for activities such as art classes, volunteering, music or yoga. Find something you can both do that doesn't revolve around food or excessive exercise.
Talk to someone: Remember you're not alone. If you feel overwhelmed then seek support from an eating disorders organisation. Counselling or therapy can help - your GP can be a good place to start.
Smile! It's difficult to watch someone you care about struggle with any illness. Keep positive and encourage changes, no matter how small the steps.
