If the the thought of eating in public fills you with dread then get some tips to help you tackle social situtations
Think about a recent invitation you received to a social event – dinner with friends, a picnic in the park or Grandma's 70th Birthday. Were you pleased to be invited, looking forward to seeing friends and meeting new people? There may have been a little anxiety mixed in; what will you wear or will you know anybody?
For someone with an eating disorder, the prospect of attending a social function and eating around other people can evoke instant feelings of dread and anxiety. The difficulties can lead to avoiding social activities altogether and it becomes a habit which leads to increased isolation and social anxiety. The habit can be difficult to break, so taking small steps can help.
Acknowledge your difficulties
You may have avoided social events for so long that you believe it's just the way you are now. How many invitations do you decline thinking "I'll go next time?" Be honest with yourself about how often you say no.
Set small goals
It's unrealistic to try to change your behaviour overnight. Start small - decide on a manageable goal such as sitting in a cafe for a cup of coffee. Ask a friend or relative who understands your difficulties to support you and together think about what would be a successful outcome for you.
Be prepared
Before you go, find out how the cafe works – do you queue up or will someone come and take your order when you sit down? Is there a time when the cafe is quieter, perhaps mid afternoon? Plan what you're going to order in advance.
Acknowledge your anxiety
Before you go, write down everything that worries you about the outing. You may be worried about people watching you or feel embarrassed about choosing something from a menu. Afterwards you can reflect on whether it was as frightening as you thought.
Anticipate difficulties
The emotional anxiety can feel overwhelming the first time so be kind to yourself if it doesn't all go to plan. Make a note of what went well and what could have been better for you – that way you have something to work on next time.
Once you know what works for you then gradually increase your goals. Next time you visit the cafe have a snack with your coffee or invite more friends.
Start small, increase the steps and maybe you’ll soon be looking forward to Grandma’s 70th Birthday party after all!
