I am having trouble taming my five-year-old when he has a strop in the street. I am never sure what to do when he hits or kicks me when we are out.
He is very strong-willed. At home, the naughty step works well but when we are out, I am not sure what to do with him when he misbehaves. Help please!
Ferret lover
This is very common. Parents use the naughty step confidently at home but when the child is out, it's as if they have poetic licence to behave just the way they want to.
Children know that their parents are wishing the ground would swallow them up because they're embarrassed and ashamed of their children's behaviour in front of everybody else.
It's unacceptable at home and it should be unacceptable in the street. If your child is misbehaving outside in public, then you need to address it as soon as possible. As long as he knows you will behave differently in public than at home, then he will always misbehave outside.
This is really about your behaviour and how you deal with him in public. The fact that you tell me that you can discipline him at home shows me that you are obviously very confident at home, and that I am very pleased to hear.
When you don't have bad behaviour addressed at home, you will always find that it will extend outside your house. So this is a credit to you - feel strong enough to re-enforce it when outside the home.
How long are you out and about for? Maybe it's just too long. He could be bored. You need to look at the circumstances of when he's misbehaving. Is it when he's hungry perhaps? You need to always look at the bigger picture because it's not just black and white.
However, I have to say that I strongly feel it's about you feeling confident to do what you do well already without worrying about being judged. Remember this: people are quick to talk when a parent is not dealing with a child that is unruly.
Keep it up because it seems to me that you're doing really well.
All the best,
Jo
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