Do you feel morbidly jealous of Hugh's ruddy complexion and air of quiet fulfillment? Do you hanker after raising your own livestock, even though you live in a flat in Hackney?
Maybe you're keen to see if a little of the River Cottage lifestyle could be brought into your own home, but don't know where to start?
If any of these apply, take a look at the simple steps in our guide to improving your relationship with food, and you may discover that getting to River Cottage is easier than you think.
Be a better shopper
There are many things you can do when food shopping to make you a more enlightened and ethical consumer. First, find out about what you're eating. That means more than just reading the label - although that's a good start that might, in some cases, put you off buying a product altogether.
In addition, try and buy your food from a person, rather than from a cabinet, and make an effort to speak to whoever's behind the counter. They should be able to tell you where the food they're selling has come from, how it's been produced, and perhaps some delicious ways to cook it. If your enquiries are met with a blank stare, take your money somewhere else.
Buy locally
Buying local is also really important. Food can travel thousands of miles before it ends up in your shopping basket, exacting a hefty toll on the environment as it travels. Produce that's grown locally will nearly always be fresher, tastier and cheaper, and often grown with fewer chemicals and harvested in its natural season, too. Farmers markets and farm shops are the best places to find local food, but you can also try high street specialists, such as greengrocers, fishmongers and butchers. Failing that, many supermarkets now have a local produce section. If yours doesn't, let the staff know that you'd like to see one, or you'll be taking your custom elsewhere.
Buy more Free-Range or Organic
Another step in the ethical direction is to buy more organic food. Whether or not you believe it's better for you, it's hard to disagree that it's better for the environment. In the case of organic meat and dairy products, you'll also know that what you're eating has come from animals that have been raised with care and compassion. Organic doesn't even have to be much more expensive than conventional produce - just a couple of pence more on a pint of milk, for instance. But, by making that shift, you're sending a powerful message to food producers that this is the kind of food you want to eat. If you don't have a local organic supermarket or shop nearby, why not sign up to an organic delivery service, of which there are plenty to choose from?
Learn to cook
If you are spending a little more on better ingredients, it makes sense to learn how to use them as well as possible. The best cooks get the most out of everything they buy, which means they can afford better quality food in the first place. Buy a whole organic chicken, for instance, and once you've eaten the meat you can use the carcass to make a rich stock that needs only a few vegetables, beans or pasta shapes to become a delicious soup or stew. Improving your cooking skills can save you a fortune if you're used to eating convenience food.
A take-away pizza can easily cost £10 and take half an hour to turn up - but you can make your own in around the same time for a fraction of the cost. Check out some of the recipes on this site and we guarantee you'll be tempted away from relying on junk food.
Grow some of your own food
This is one of the simplest, most achievable ways to literally get closer to the source of what you eat - and anyone can do it. It might only mean a pot of parsley on the windowsill or a couple of tomato plants in a grow-bag, but every morsel of homegrown fare will fill you with pride and a better appreciation of how good food is produced. If you're really enthusiastic, why not start a whole vegetable plot? Or go the extra mile and apply for an allotment? (See your local council's website for details). Not only will it help keep you fit, your food bills will plummet and you'll experience a sense of satisfaction bordering on smugness.
Compost your food waste
We all know about recycling glass and paper, but turning kitchen scraps into compost is a form of recycling you can benefit from directly, while massively reducing the amount of rubbish you chuck out. If you've got a decent-sized garden, build a full-size compost heap - but even the smallest plot has room for a compact composting bin.
Kill and eat an animal
This is a big step but really crucial to the River Cottage way of thinking, as it's so easy to avoid facing up to the realities behind the meat we eat. Every pork chop and salmon steak does, after all, involve the death of an animal. This step isn't as far-fetched as you might think: consider going fishing, for instance, or joining a local shoot. If you really can't face it, maybe it's time to consider vegetarianism...
