Sarah will be blogging about her life and My Transsexual Summer throughout the series.
Episode 2
Coming out to my mum was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I genuinely thought there was a big chance it would be the last I ever saw of her.
There have been three or four times in the past when I tried to tell my mum. Sitting at the harbour cafe back in Jersey over a bacon roll and a cup of tea. Standing in her new kitchen eating cup cakes (not every attempt involved food!). Each time the words formed inside me but they could not escape my throat. I kind of had an idea of what I wanted to say but nothing ever came out. This time was different though, with the advice and support that I got from my new friends and, in particular, Drew's mum, I no longer felt alone.
The fear I felt waking up that morning was indescribable. I couldn't sleep much the night before and my hands were visibly shaking as I drove to pick her up. I had rehearsed what I wanted to say, how to present the news and prepared myself for whatever reaction she might have.
I was absolutely blown away by her reaction! I had prepared for rejection and shouting... What I had was my wonderful mum asking questions, making sure I knew what I was doing, and trying to understand the journey I was starting.
So many trans people out there do not have this reaction from their parents, I was so lucky to have such an accepting reaction from my mum. It was the best I could hope for.
The biggest lesson I took from the whole experience and one phrase that I kept repeating to myself was: 'use your allies'! Reach out and speak to people that can help you. Speaking to the others in the group and hearing their experiences of coming out really helped me prepare. Speaking to Drew's mum and learning that there are parents out there that accept their children no matter what gender they are gave me hope for what may become of mine.
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