Made in Chelsea: Ibiza
Cocktails with Millie, wine with Tiff, pillow fights with Millie, skateboarding with Tiff; it’s safe to say Sam has been a very busy boy.
Let it never be said that life in SW3 is lazy: this week we saw ballroom dancing, power walking and winter sports as well as manicures and Bloody Marys.
A is for argument, of which there were plenty this week.
From Andy Jordan’s acoustic guitar-based seduction to chat-up techniques including the phrase 'what’s your target market?', and niche dance moves from the Thompsons, this week saw a festival of cringe in Chelsea.
The only person not shopping this week was Andy Jordan, whose plate is suddenly full (of women) and barely has time to go on a double date in peace, let alone make any expensive purchases.
Christmas has arrived in Chelsea! But if anyone thinks that means there will be an abundance of goodwill coursing through the streets of SW3, they’ll be sorely mistaken.
You'd have thought the Chelsea gang would have learnt from bitter experience that no matter how opulent the surroundings or sumptuous the food, dinner parties in SW3 are always, ALWAYS pure, unadulterated banquets of misery. Some people never learn...
The big story of the week was Spencer's return to SW3: in a Ferrari with a tan, a level head and a brand new girlfriend.
He had the right idea, he really did. But sadly no amount of stinking cheese, fruity wine or beautiful Gallic architecture could make Jamie's jolly to the south of France the relaxing escape from Chelsea that he had envisaged.
Hard to know where to start, really, in a week where we met Louise and Sam's yummy mummy, Mark Vandelli expressed his wish to have a temple erected for him after his death and Sam admitted to sleeping in a bed with a girl who wasn't Tiff.