Josh, Neve & Cameron
Josh is a volatile and aggressive boy whose outbursts are ruining family life.
His mum, Tracy, says that Josh has a problem accepting boundaries and simple requests from adults, questioning everything and becoming angry when asked to do anything. He argues constantly with his father, Buster, but when he finally fights back, it only makes things worse.
When Josh isn't battling with his mum and dad, it's his brother, Cameron, and sister, Neve, who receive the sharp end of his violent rages. Tracy and Buster are desperate to find out how to turn family life from conflict to pleasure.
If you have an aggressive child:
Break the cycle:
Anger will only make matters worse. Instead, make it clear that you are not going to respond to that behaviour. Sort it out when calmer.
Make time to listen:
If you want your children to listen to you, then take time to listen to them too. Work it out, find solutions and be willing.
Build relationships:
Children learn how to deal with situations first from their parents. Take up a hobby, take on a project, show interest. Doing things together allows the relationship to heal and build a better place.
Encourage:
Encourage your child to take up a new activity that they can learn and you can help them with. It can help build their confidence and increase their circle of friends.
Oliver
Five-year-old Oliver starts his day with a dawn raid on the kitchen. He drags his three-year-old brother Thomas into his noisy excursions, waking his parents who are sleep-deprived and short-tempered throughout the day.
Oliver has been sneaking food since the age of three. His mum, Corinne, and dad, Chris, are worried that he binges on crisps and biscuits in alarming quantities. But now it's not just his health their concerned about, it's his safety too. He's now big enough to climb on to the kitchen worktops and can open almost anything with heavy scissors.
With the rest of the house asleep, mum and dad fear Oliver will harm himself by falling down or injuring himself with scissors or knives.
Corinne and Chris are exhausted by their disturbed sleep, worried about the impact on Thomas and desperate to break Oliver's habit before he hurts himself or his dawn feasts lead to serious health concerns.
If you need to take control of unruly behaviour:
Lay down the rules:
Children know that some things are acceptable and some are not. But you need to set the rules so they know.
Hold your ground:
You can only keep boundaries in place through discipline. This means firm and fair control. Follow through on warnings if they are not listened to.
Restrict snacking:
Underline how a treat is a rare thing: put any snacks in a snack box and only allow them to be eaten at specific times of the day. Remember, parents should be respected by their children and vice versa.
