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The path of true love runs rough at East Hampton Hospital. Martin loves Caroline. Caroline loves Mac. So does Sue White. Statham loves Jesus, or is it the chaplain? Joanna loves Lyndon. Guy loves Guy but pretends to love Caroline.
Elsewhere, Lyndon votes Harriet's the best arse in admin, as his personal preference is for big pants and hers were the biggest. Guy demonstrates his way with the common man with Terry; the hospital cleaner. The charity slave auction sorts them all out when Boyce buys Alan for 30p.

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