About the Show
From the award-winning team behind Smack the Pony comes this quick-fire (and occasionally slow motion) genre-defying comedy, set in a surreal hospital, despite no discernible medical content...
Series 1 Summary
Dr Caroline Todd doesn't get off to a great start at East Hampton Hospital. She feels hopelessly dowdy alongside the gorgeous Dr Angela Hunter, and her low self-esteem does little to boost her chances with the dashing (but aloof) Dr 'Mac' Macartney.
Perhaps the come-ons of wannabe Casanova and confirmed misogynist Dr Guy Secretan are exactly what she needs - but she's not convinced.
New surgical registrar Dr Caroline Todd arrives for her first day at work, uncoiffed and under-deodorised, having spent the night in her car. Her debut continues to be hygienically and professionally challenging as she meets her new colleagues.
But who are the good guys and who are the bad guys, and what sort of Guy is Guy Secretan, the smooth talking anaesthetist? Duped into staying the night at his flat, she concludes her mismanaged day by blocking his toilet with a 'monster that won't go down'.
Caroline spends the day quashing gossip about her innocent night at Guy's flat. Guy spends the day unquashing it. If only Caroline had something to hold over Guy, but what are the chances of him blurting out some dark secret?
Elsewhere, Dr Statham enjoys the swirl of his white coat, and Martin devotes valuable revision time to pursuing a yoghurt thief, and a woman - any woman...
Joanna is worried about her age. Who wouldn't be at her age? Her dangerous liaison with Alan Statham is now in danger of becoming tedious. She demands spontaneity. Statham agrees to give it some thought.
Elsewhere, Mac discovers his 'not-ready-to-have-kids-yet' ex-girlfriend is now pregnant. He takes a relatively philosophical view of this; apart from a minor stabbing incident.
Joanna's birthday - what does a man get the woman he worships for her birthday? Would it be a locket filled with his love juice? Joanna tries to play down the passing of another year, but is delighted to receive a gift she thinks comes from gorgeous IT guru Lyndon Jones. It is, of course, from less-than-gorgeous moustachioed radiology guru Alan Statham.
A major incident rocks the hospital when Caroline's arse is given a four and Angela's an eight - Guy has thoughtfully compiled a fanciability league table of women in the hospital. When confronted with this childish sexism, it's time for Guy to reveal his true sensitivity. He blames it all on Mac.
Martin doesn't have anything to wear to Caroline's housewarming party. He needs a calming influence, a voice of reason, someone with a keen eye for fashion. Unfortunately, it's Sue White who offers to take him shopping.
Will people do things at the party that they'll regret? Almost certainly, especially Caroline who drinks too much of Guy's ethanol punch and ends up snogging the delectable Dr Secretan in the hallway.
Elsewhere, Joanna has rashly demanded more mystery from her allegedly secret lover, so Statham overcomes a mild wool allergy to don a balaclava and kidnap her at finger-point.
It's a testing time all round as both Joanna and Harriet visit the path lab convinced they are pregnant, Martin sits his exams for the hundredth time, Mac surreptitiously attends an interview for a promotion, and Caroline is gradually made aware of the extent of her party misdemeanours.
Statham is dealt a massive double blow as his extravagant plans for imminent fatherhood are dashed, and he is considered surplus to romantic requirements by the ever-gracious Joanna. His hitherto ordered and sophisticated mind begins to fall to pieces. So much so that, for the first time in his life, he steals a milk float.
Caroline is broody, but she's confused. Is Guy the good guy or the bad guy? Is Mac the good Mac or the bad Mac?
Elsewhere, Martin gets his exam results. A fight ensues, and Guy resorts to mafia-style tactics by hiring a hitman to pull the plug on Mac's good looks. And Statham finds comfort in God... or is it in the attractive chaplain, Cordelia?
The path of true love runs rough at East Hampton Hospital. Martin loves Caroline. Caroline loves Mac. So does Sue White. Statham loves Jesus, or is it the chaplain? Joanna loves Lyndon. Guy loves Guy but pretends to love Caroline.
Elsewhere, Lyndon votes Harriet's the best arse in admin, as his personal preference is for big pants and hers were the biggest. Guy demonstrates his way with the common man with Terry; the hospital cleaner. The charity slave auction sorts them all out when Boyce buys Alan for 30p.
It's Mac's last day and emotions are running high. Joanna is desperately trying to lure Alan away from the baby Jesus, Sue offers to kill Mac's boss to keep him at the hospital, and Caroline resorts to extreme methods to lure Mac away from Emily and into her bed.
This convoluted whirl of emotions take an oedipal turn as Boyce projects a 30ft homoerotic image of Alan onto the hospital, and Martin discovers Guy is his secret brother - only to then witness Dr Secretan try to bed Joanna in a final, winner-takes-all bet with Mac that goes horribly wrong.
Green Wing synopsis
From the award-winning team behind Smack the Pony comes this quick-fire (and occasionally slow motion) genre-defying comedy, set in a surreal hospital, despite no discernible medical content...Episode Guide >