If any one of the residents of Craggy Island can be referred to as 'normal' then it's Ted. At first glance, his head appears to be screwed squarely on his shoulders. He's not a big drinker, he's not an avid rollerblader and he has a firm grip on reality.

If he does have one vice, it's the acquisition of wealth (well, maybe two - the acquisition of wealth and his utter contempt for fellow priest and arch-nemesis Father Dick Byrne. Oh, and sweet smoky cigarettes. OK, that's three then).

This avarice lies behind Ted's banishment to Craggy Island. The details are hazy, but Ted was involved in something known only as 'the Lourdes incident'. Apparently the money was merely 'resting' in Ted's account, but suggests that he stole a pile of cash from a very sick child...

You could call Ted the 'brains' of the parochial house - but that really wouldn't be saying much, as he lives with an alcoholic and a child trapped in a man's body. Occasionally, his genius shines.

Ted spends most of his time mentoring his best friend, Father Dougal. As Ted is a man of the world and Dougal is a man of Craggy Island, there is plenty of wisdom to pass on.