Cricket, Doctor Who, and thinking about girls are just a few of Tim Gebbels' favourite things. Find out what else floats his boat, and what doesn't...
Name:
Tim Gebbels
Age:
41
Disability:
I am totally blind, and that really means totally. No light perception, nothing.
Since:
1973
Explain:
I was born with glaucoma which, as far as I understand it, is pressure in the eye. This led to bi-lateral retinal detachment which is kind of terminal as far as your eyesight goes - or at least it was in the early 70s.
My sight seemed normal to me as I could run about and go off by myself, but I was in reality pretty short sighted and had to wear increasingly thick heavy glasses.
I am profoundly grateful to the consultants at Moorfields Eye Hospital who kept my sight going as long as they did for I value my visual memories greatly. Like a shoe box of faded photos on top of the cupboard, they are at the back of my mind but really important to me.
The first time you truly felt like a disabled person was...
When I went to university. Primary school and secondary school were special establishments for visually impaired kids so they were pretty protected environments really.
At college, as well as coping with all the usual teenage self-doubt proper to 19, I was made for the first time really to feel different. No one was deliberately unkind but they were all young and undergraduates too and had their own issues and lessons to learn. As well as all that, it was the first time I could mix freely with girls as secondary school had been single sex.
I assumed that I'd immediately embark on a sunlit upland of dates and relationships and fondly remembered experience gained, but it didn't happen at all. I guess it was a big first object lesson in the dangers of making assumptions.
The most embarrassing thing to happen because of your disability/impairment is:
Actually, I'm quite strong these days about not feeling embarrassed or ashamed of what I am. If I need help, I ask for it, and if people have a problem then s***w them, as long as you've done your best to be self-reliant. I used to be much more inhibited when I was younger.
Common misapprehensions about your disability/impairment (i):
That everyone who's visually impaired is totally blind, having no useful sight.
Common misapprehensions about your disability/impairment (ii):
That blind people are more into smelling and touching things. Quite often I couldn't give a damn, especially about flowers or scented gardens.
Common misapprehensions about your disability/impairment (iii):
That I have a guide dog chiefly to combat loneliness and to help with chores round the house. The truth is that a guide dog wouldn't be much help with either.
What's the worst thing anyone's ever done to you as a result of your disability/impairment?
Being sent off to boarding school when I was five. That did a lot of damage and I've still got a lot of scar tissue to show for it.
What's the best?
Two of the best things done for me are, firstly making available a guide dog, for this has significantly enhanced my quality of life. Secondly, making software so that PCs can talk. If I couldn't use a computer, eg the web, email etc, I really would be excluded from a lot of modern life and culture.
Superhero skill:
Believe it or not, I'm actually a pretty good shot with an air rifle - over 10 metres anyway.
What's the most common thing people assume you can do because of your disability that you can't?
Infer all sorts of amazing detail about someone from the smallest aural clues. Some people seem to think I can tell someone's life story just from the sound of their footsteps. It is true that being blind I listen much more efficiently to what's going on around me than a lot of sighted people do, and you can learn much about your environment just by hearing, but there are limits.
What's the most common thing people assume you can't do because of your disability that you can?
A lot of people assume many tasks are impossible if you can't see when it just isn't the case. People say 'how do you shave?' and what they mean is how do I shave when I can't look in a mirror. But you don't in fact need to look at your reflection to shave properly.
People assume that because they look to cross a road or shave or groom a horse or strip down a weapon that you must be able to see to do it but in many cases it's simply not true. It might be faster and easier to do many chores with sight than without it but so often it isn't a simple split between can and can't.
You can feel with your hands whether a lot of jobs are done. My partner used to say of my ex-flatmate, who was totally blind, that her makeup was always immaculate.
What has your disability given you?
With a disability you are often on the outside of situations, if only subtly. Though being included up to a point, commonly there is still distance between me and the people I'm with. So having an impairment has given me perspective. You get to see some interesting psychology and how people work, not just in relation to you as a disabled person, but also with each other, because you are slightly removed from them - that is to say, slightly left out even though they don't mean to.
Most annoying things you miss (or have never had):
Being able to watch Doctor Who on DVD, or any telly or film for that matter. Also, eyeing up fit women in the street or down the tube or on telly or in the pub. Being totally blind you lack an input of human beauty.
The things you can't live without:
Something to listen to, and I really mean here the spoken word, such as an audiobook or the radio. Writing materials. Something to deal with heart burn.
The person you'd most like to be marooned on a desert island with:
My other half. She loves nature and all that sort of thing and she doesn't have enough holidays and she is really practical. She could do all the work!
The three things you'd take to a desert island (nothing useful allowed) are:
I'd like my MP3 player with lots of music and books on it. I'd like my dog - although this might sound practical, I don't actually think a guide dog would be a lot of use on a desert island. A radio please.
The first thing you'd do when you arrived on a desert island?
Find out where to go to the bathroom and then do a full recce.
You live:
A peripatetic existence. I have my flat in London. I've always maintained a place in London because most acting work seems to be based there. When I'm not working, I'm at my girlfriend's house in Oxford. It's full of cats and dogs and horses. Obviously, the horses don't actually live in the house and two of the dogs are mine. So I shuttle back and forth between London and Oxford, which I quite like really.
The thing that most annoys you about other disabled people is:
How little they talk about the conflicts which exist within and between disabilities. Because of the social model of disability we lump all disabled experience together and I don't think it's quite that simple. The social model is a fantastic liberating tool but it requires development. The occasion when I've felt most discriminated against as a blind person was amongst other disabled people.
The thing that annoys you most about non-disabled people is:
How much they take for granted, the ease with which they achieve their objectives, for example going down the shops, looking for work, finding out information they want on the internet, playing with the kids - whatever.
You don't feel disabled when:
I'm just in my flat by myself. If I walk into the door jamb or trip over the table or have to feel around the worktop 'cos I've forgotten where I've put my glass of wine, no one tenses up or gives a little gasp or rushes in thinking that I'm desperately in need of help.
What makes you most angry?
People not being truthful, by which I mean not being honest; only telling their truth and conveniently leaving out facts which aren't helpful to them.
What makes you most depressed?
I think humanity on the whole can be pretty depressing. We're an avaricious, aggressive and incredibly self-important species - just a bunch of monkeys not that long down from the trees, in all honesty, who unaccountably have a very high opinion of ourselves.
What was the happiest moment of your life?
Waking up on the last day of school before the holidays.
What was the saddest?
Going off to boarding school.
The thing you love most about your friends is:
That they are my friends and are indulgent of my opinionated rantings without judging them or me out of context. I hope I do the same for them.
The thing you hate most about your friends is:
There is very little I truly hate in this world. I don't think there's anything about my friends I hate.
How would your life be different without your disability?
I probably wouldn't be an actor. If I could see tomorrow (deus ex machine) I'd go straight out and buy a camcorder and enrol at film school. I'd be a director. I wouldn't mind if I wasn't a very successful director, for just doing it would be enough.
I don't know what I'll be at in 10 years' time. I try not to make assumptions about the future or anything. If my life's the same as now that'll be ok. I have five coping mechanisms which make life bearable: Cricket. Doctor Who. Thinking about girls. Crisp, white wine. Reading novels.
I used to think aspiring to small things like these meant I was shallow, but the world is so complicated and out of our control, with meaningless war prosecuted by our weak and bellicose leaders, and grasping politicians ripping off their expense accounts, that most of us don't have much choice. Try to be kind. Try to listen as much as you talk and enjoy it, for once life's spark is out, we never light its flame again.
