Bringing Up Baby

Advantages of feeding on demand

• In the early stages of breastfeeding, the baby sucking on the nipple stimulates the supply and the breasts 'learn' to produce the right amount. A timed schedule mucks up this process – either the mother will be leaking milk before the four hours is up, or the milk will dry up because it's not being used
• The baby gets to feed when it's hungry, not when the clock says it should eat. It will not overeat but take what it needs. This is basically saying that babies 'know' what their needs are and all parents have to do is make sure those needs are met
• Babies gain comfort from sucking – they may not be taking much milk but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be given unfettered access to the breast. Again, it's about trusting that evolution got it right – don't try and reinvent the wheel.

Disadvantages of feeding on demand

• It's very time-consuming. Even though you're going to have your baby strapped to you anyway if you're following the Continuum Concept so you don't have to stop what you're doing to feed, some women just don't like the idea of being 'on tap'.

Advantages of in-arms phase

• When babies are held constantly they have all their needs met instantly – they feed when they want to, they don't get lonely, if they're in pain or need changing the mother will see that without the baby having to cry
• The baby gets to hear the heartbeat and feel the body warmth of the person who's carrying them – a closer state to what they've experienced in the womb than being left in a pram or cot
• A baby in a sling can sleep or feed while the mother is getting on with her day
• A sling is great camouflage when you're breastfeeding – it isn't obvious to anyone else that you're feeding so no one gets offended
• You can save hundreds of pounds not having to buy a super-duper 'travel system' (AKA buggy) and you don't have to struggle getting it on and off the bus
• The in-arms phase only last six months – in theory, at this point the baby should spontaneously decide that it wants to separate itself from the mother more and start crawling, etc
• Babies who have enjoyed this close contact with their parents while in the sling, continuing even after the in-arms phase has ended, will have absorbed a huge amount of information about how the adult world works. They will have seen their mothers cooking, cleaning, etc, and therefore be able to take on these tasks themselves at a very young age.

Disadvantages of in-arms phase

• Some mothers need a sense of privacy or separateness from their babies which the Continuum Concept doesn't allow for
• The argument against the above – that you should pass the baby around your 'tribe' to give yourself a break – isn't easy for a lot of women in our society, where we don't live in a communal or extended family situation where we can hand the baby to someone else
• Some argue that a baby that's carried constantly will become clingy and never want to be separated from its mother. Continuum Concept fans refute this saying that babies need the close contact of the in-arms phase up till the age of six months but that if they are able to fulfil that stage of development unimpeded they will be perfectly happy to be put down and in fact actively seek independence.

Advantages of co-sleeping

• Breastfeeding on demand at night is very simple because the baby won't need to cry for food but can root for the breast, sometimes even without waking you up
• Babies gain comfort from sleeping with their mothers – this is what most societies outside the West do with their babies
• You don't need to buy a crib, then a cot which the child will grow out of quickly anyway and you don't need a nursery for the first two years
• There is less anxiety about baby stopping breathing when you sleep with your baby as you can sense its breathing.

Disadvantages of co-sleeping

• Opponents of co-sleeping argue that it's dangerous for two adults to sleep in bed with a tiny baby
• The safety guidelines, which include no drinking, no smoking, no prescription medication, no heavy duvets or thick pillows, etc. make co-sleeping safely quite restrictive
• The baby will get used to being in bed with its parents so the transition to its own bed will take a while. The Continuum Concept requires this to happen when the child is ready – usually at about two years old. For many couples, especially the male half, this is very unappealing.
  Although Continuum Concept devotees claim it's easy having sex in a bed while the baby's asleep beside you – and furthermore does no damage psychologically – many couples are put off co-sleeping for this reason.

Advantages of 'tribal' parenting

• A baby brought up by a group will be more sociable than one used to being cared for by only its parents. The Continuum Concept does not produce clingy babies
• The tribe (friends, family, etc.) can support a new mother when she's recovering from the birth – help with housework, cooking meals, etc.

Disadvantages of 'tribal' parenting

• In theory this sounds great – but for a lot of modern parents, they don't have a 'tribe' around them. They may live a distance from their own parents, not know many people who have babies and small children and won't have the instant access to help from other people recommended by the Continuum Concept
• We live in an age where we value our privacy – not everyone wants to share the domestic arrangements with a group of other people.