Alan Carr's on-screen persona is of a friendly, warm, sociable sort of a fellow. It would be a crushing experience to report that the real Alan is a misanthropic, monosyllabic, distant figure. It would also be a million miles from the truth. If anything, away from the cameras and uninhibited by the restraints of presenting his own show, he's even more affable and gregarious.
In this interview, which took place just before the start of series two, Alan discusses his Chatty Man guests, how he learned from the best, and why he ended up seeing his life flash before him while wearing a gimp mask.
Have you enjoyed doing Chatty Man so far?
Oh, I've loved it, it's been great. I was a bit worried about doing it on my own, without Justin, but it seems to have gone really well.
Do you often get worried before performing? It doesn't come across.
I'm a very nervous person anyway. With my stand-up I was never out of the toilet: there was an awful lot of wind backstage. But on Chatty Man once I'd started talking, and I realised people want to talk, it was fine. You worry and think 'What if they don't say anything? What if they don't like me?' But I'm talking to professional people who have been in the business ages. So long as you have the right questions. As soon as they realise you're not trying to catch them out, and you just want to have fun, and you'll mention their book/ film/ equestrian range, they're happy to have fun.
Why did you decide to go down the chat show route?
It sort of felt like a natural progression. I did my panel show, with Ding Dong, and then I started doing Radio 2, Going Out with Alan Carr, and I was chatting to people a lot on the phone in that. I never thought that chatting was one of my fortes; on the Friday Night Project Justin would be the really noisy bundle of fun, and I'd just come in with a one-liner at the end. I'd just thought 'Well, it's not really my bag.' But I started talking to people and I felt really comfortable. My problem with chat shows was that they're all a bit serious, and I don't like that kind of chat show. 'Come back after the break and we'll talk about my miscarriage.' That's not really my cup of tea. I think that was my problem, I felt that I wasn't serious enough to do it. But I think that's one of the good things about Chatty Man: it's just chat. It's a chat show, and all I do is chat. I don't want to see anyone crying, I don't want to hear about how they were abused as a child, we just want a laugh and a bit of fun, as if they're a friend and they've just come round and sat at my table and we're having tea and cake or whatever.
Is that why you serve them a bit of food, or give them a drink when they come on?
Yes. And also I think you can interview a guest for an hour and not know about them, but by seeing if they accept a Tia Maria, it says so much more about their personality than any autobiography can do.
Did you watch any other chat show hosts to pick up tips?
I did warm-up for Jonathan Ross for three years, so I watched the master at work from the studio floor. That was a real treat, as you can imagine. He gets amazing guests. I remember sitting there, and U2 would do one song, and the credits would come up, and then Bono would say to the audience 'Do you want some more?' And you'd sit right at the front watching U2 play three more songs. Oh my God, it was amazing. Elton John did it. Coldplay did like a mini concert! I had to pinch myself. I get good guests, but he gets the Hollywood A-listers, who are media-trained within an inch of their lives, and he still manages to get something good out of them. He just keeps going and going and going. I watched him, and I thought 'Oh Alan, just don't give up. Keep on going.' He gets so much out of them. But so many of them have had drug problems or been in abusive relationships or whatever, and I think sometimes being a good interviewer doesn't have to mean getting all that out of them. I think it can be just as good to show a rapper laughing his head off. Showing a celebrity in a different light can be just as good as hearing about how they once overdosed on heroin.
There's you, Graham Norton and Paul O'Grady, all hosting your own chat shows. Do you think there's something about gay men that makes them good chat show hosts?
I've never thought of it like that. I think Paul O'Grady's a very warm person. I don't really know Graham that well, but I went to a dinner party, and Graham was there, and he's so funny and charming. I think, at the heart of it, gay men are very gossipy, and very anecdote-led. We just spent the whole night going 'Oooh, what do you think of Katie?' 'What do you think of Peter?' 'Oh my word, what about Madonna?' I think maybe a straight man wouldn't want to hear all of that. So maybe it's because we're interested in people's lives, and what makes them tick. I think all of us need to get out more, to be honest.
How much research do you do for each guest? If they're coming on to promote a book, for example, will you read the book?
That's the one thing I definitely do. Even if it's someone like Kerry Katona or Katie Price, and they haven't read their own book, I'll read it for them. I just think it's a mark of respect, really. I've gone on shows where someone's just gone on Wikipedia, and halfway through the interview they'll ask me 'What's it like having Lionel Blair as your dad?' And you have to explain that's not true. So it's just respectful. I will listen to the CD, and I'll make sure I go and see the film, and it just makes a better interview, I think. Unless the film's shit.
In that event, do you tell them you thought it was brilliant?
No, I just say something like 'Ooh, look at you! Look at you in a film!' I try not to mention if it's any good. The only problem I have is when the soap stars come on. Because you can't wing it. I don't watch the soaps, and there's so much background to catch up on. The researcher comes in and says 'Well, Peter married Jilly, but Jilly was really seeing Tom. Tom owns the pharmacy up the road that burned down after the fight.' And you're like 'What?' I can't keep up. Soaps are the ones that get me.
Who's been the best guest that you've had on the show?
There have been so many lovely ones. David Walliams and Gok Wan - they were brilliant. But I always find the ones that you're a bit worried about often go really well. Like the Black Eyed Peas. They were so much fun. They were absolutely wonderful. And Samuel L Jackson - I was terrified. He was wonderful!
Are there any questions that you wish you hadn't asked? Have you upset any celebrities by saying the wrong thing?
I think, because I've been on enough chat shows myself, I'm not one of those who will pounce on guests with a nasty surprise. I think I get away with a lot anyway, because I'm quite cheeky, so I do try and push the envelope a little bit. If they've been in something a bit crap, I'll sort of mention it, but there's a way of doing things, isn't there? I don't want anyone to be embarrassed, and I don't want word to get around that it's a bad show to go on because guests will be badly treated.
Who would be your dream guests?
I'd love the Beckhams - I think everyone feels like that.
What's the most ridiculous stunt you've done for the show?
They're not as outrageous stunts as the ones on The Friday Night Project were. But when I wrestled - which was a dream of mine - with Mickey Rourke, that was interesting. He's been hit 'round the head so many times he's a bit shaky now, and forgetful. We'd planned him to do these wrestling moves one at a time, one, two, three. But when I whispered to him 'Go' he did all three together. So I did the body-slam, I was pulled over the head, and then he had me in a headlock. All in one go. My life flashed before my eyes, which is hard when you're wearing a gimp mask.
Your audience always seems to be quite raucous. What do you feed them?
I don't know why they're like that. We've got an amazing warm-up guy, Andy, who gets them up doing the Macarena and the conga. He just winds them up and lets them go; he's the best in the business. I'd like to think it was all about the excitement of seeing me, but it's not that at all. He's just very good. When I'm standing backstage waiting to go on, listening to the audience roaring away, I feel like Russell Crowe in Gladiator waiting to go out into the Circus Maximus.
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By Benjie Goodhart
