Tat’s all folks: critic slams Olympic merchandise

“We don’t do bland in London,” according to the 2012 Olympic chairman Lord Coe, but if you believe the design critics, there’s a heck of a lot worse than bland. Today the founder of the London Design Museum, Stephen Bayley, has been venting his spleen in The Times, declaring that the online memorabilia shop “looks like a poundstore in a post-industrial hell”.

Browse through the merchandise, and there ought to be something to suit all tastes: the shocking pink and black socks, adorned with the 2012 logo, yours for just a fiver. Or a “classic” Wenlock figurine, for £11. Something for the kids? Why not try the Queens Guard bed linen set, or a minature bauble? And for the seriously flush, there’s an irresistible “limited edition” stainless steel playing cards. For £2,000.

Not made in Britain

Never mind that this “showcase for British talent” is mostly made overseas. Those T-shirts, toys and crystal tableware emblazoned with the Union Jack hail from China, Turkey, the Philippines and a host of other countries, with just 9 per cent made in Britain, according to an investigation by the Daily Mail. And the Olympic organisers have now had to promise to sort out better protection for the workers who make it, after the TUC found evidence of child labour, excessive hours and dangerous work practices at two of those Chinese factories. Whoops.

Looks like a poundstore in a post-industrial hell. Stephen Bayley.

But back to the brave new world of retail opportunity: after all, the sale of branded merchandise is expected to raise nigh on £1bn. And that Wenlock-branded tea towel could even bring you a new sense of spiritual meaning: it was Tony Blair who said the Olympic logo would leave people “inspired to make a positive change in their life”.

Sloppy mediocrity

For Stephen Bayley, of course, this “desultory collection of rubbish” is in fitting with the genre. Way back in 2007 he was busy castigating the Wolff-Olins branded Olympic logo for its “sloppy mediocrity and puerile composition” – and slating the “wince-makingly bathetic mascots”. He even quoted Dolly Parton: “It takes a lot of money to look this trashy.” Others agree, according to those who answered a highly unscientific poll on our Facebook page. “It’s degrading to poundstores, they sell better stuff.” Or this: “You don’t have to be a guru to see it’s overpriced junk.”

Of course, London 2012 isn’t the only organisation guilty of pushing out a load of souvenirs with questionable taste. Who could forget the entire range of commemorative guff that surrounded last summer’s Royal Wedding? And even the US President Barack Obama, considered by many the very epitome of iconic cool, has an official memorabilia store flogging, among other things, an Obama rhodium ball ornament, a Joe Biden can holder, and a spatula adorned with the campaign logo. And this from the man who’s just been singing the blues alongside BB King and Mick Jagger.

Branded souvenirs? Cool? Perhaps that’s just not the point.