Phone hacking: Clooney to direct the movie

Andy Coulson: given the baby-faced Bieber’s recent run-ins with the law, he has more in common with the former NoW editor than you might think.

Rebekah Brooks: holding back the years – lookalike Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall tipped to make his acting debut?

Rupert Murdoch: excellent – if Mr Murdoch had spent as much time at his Wapping plant as Mr Burns spent at Springfield nuclear power plant he might have seen the trouble coming.

Tony Blair: famous for playing the former PM in three different films, actor Michael Sheen could slip back into character as Rebekah Brook’s “call me if you need to” adviser.

Neville Thurlbeck: the role of the former News of the World chief reporter should be a cinch for this dead ringer – Downton Abbey star Jim Carter currently plays Mr Carson in the period drama.

James Murdoch: an uncanny resemblance between Murdoch Jnr and Herr Flick of ‘Allo, ‘Allo fame surely makes for easy casting?

Colin Myler: could the current England football coach Roy Hodgson be persuaded to swap green for big screen to play the former News of the World editor?

Glenn Mulcaire: we’re not sure of the availability of the rodent credited with saving TV-am, but Roland Rat might draw the line at playing the man whose hacking activities triggered the demise of the News of the World.