29 Jul 2014

‘Perhaps no greater turn-off to the British female’

Long commutes, leaving parties early and being a turn-off to potential dates: young people reveal all about the highs and lows of being forced back to their family home.

‘I’m working so hard to save, but it never seems to be enough’

Sally Webb, 25, lives with her parents and sister in Brentwood, but travels an hour and a half to get to work at MeteoGroup in Victoria, London. She has been living at home since finishing an MSc in 2011 to try and save for a deposit.

“I am constantly saving to buy my own property, but every time I get close to being able to afford one prices go up and I have to wait another year. I have looked at renting to make the commute shorter, but at the end of the day I will end up spending more and saving less.

“I don’t feel angry, but it does bug me. It makes me feel like I’m a bit useless because I’m working so hard to save the money, but it never seems to be enough… It’s unlikely I’ll own my own property in the next 12 to 24 months.

“My sister and I have to put a percentage of our earnings each month into savings for our own property. My parents would like us to move out and own our own property so this is their way of helping us. As we don’t pay rent as such, we help around the house.

I can’t invite people round when I feel like it, I still need to check it’s ok with my parents.

“Living at home can be great at times, it means there is always company, but it also means that you’re around each other a lot and can end up getting annoyed with your family. One of my sisters is in the same boat as me saving to buy her own property and the other is still doing her degree so is home during the holidays.

“I still have a great social life, but there are two main negatives; I can’t invite people round when I feel like it, I still need to check it’s OK with my parents.

“Secondly, because it takes so long to get home I rarely stay out past 11pm. If I do stay out, it usually involves sleeping on a friends couch.”

Read more: Nearly 2m young people living with their parents - despite having a job

‘There is perhaps no greater turn-off to the British female’

Tom Ford, 29, lives in the Walsall area of the West Midlands. He works in the transport and shopfitting industries, and has been back with his parents for the last two years.

“Over 10 years ago I moved out of home and have pretty much remained independent throughout. excluding a year I returned to save to go to Australia.

“Within the last couple of years or so I have had to return to home because of the extortionate cost of living in the UK. The situation leaves me with two choices: I can move out, renting, and enjoy the independence most adults need yet struggle to make ends meet, have next to no life, and save nothing; or I can remain at home, enjoy a modest yet more active social life and save considerably in the hope that one day the tides will turn I may be able to actually afford my own place.

“The pros of living at home are reduced living costs and a more social and ‘homely’ environment: living alone can be very lonely, especially if you can’t afford to go out to meet friends or live too far away…

People in general view adults living at home as unsuccessful losers, mummy’s boys (or girls) and general bums.

“Relationship-wise, there is perhaps no greater turn-off to the British female, than a male adult living at home. People in general view adults living at home as unsuccessful losers, mummy’s boys (or girls) and general bums.

“I’d like to point out that I could now afford to move out, the issue being that I would be living on the breadline with no opportunity to progress (it would be renting) so I am better off having a more enjoyable life while also saving considerably for when, or if, the situation ever changes, or I decide to go abroad again.

“As I see it, the opportunities presented to earlier generations simply are not available to the younger ones. An older friend purchased a property for £40,000 15 years ago, at the time he was earning around £18,000 a year – approximately my average current income. That property is now worth around £110,000.

“The house prices will never recede to the levels of 15 to 20 years ago, yet wages have barely moved. What future does this offer us?”

‘I am still only just finding my feet’

Shannon Mulligan, 25, is a social media coordinator and lives with her sister and parents on the Wirral, Merseyside.

“I’ve lived at home nearly all of my life except for a brief five or six month stint in a house share during university.

“I think if I had been able to go into a job with career progression out of university a few years ago, then I might have been in a position to move out earlier.

“As it stands, three years after graduating, I have just moved into a career after working in a warehouse on horrible hours for two years, and the career switch means that I am still only just finding my feet really.

“I pay my mum £200 a month in keep and £30 a month to my dad towards his petrol. I obviously pay for my own travel, food outside of the house, toiletries, phone bill and my debts (which got quite high when I got my first job after graduation).

“I guess it gets a little heated at times, with everyone living on top of one another but I actually really like living with my family. The worst thing is the stigma attached but then again, I only have one friend from school days who has his own house. We’re pretty much all living at home still.”