Alex Thomson on his encounter with the IOC/BOCOG
Updated on 15 August 2008
Alex Thomson reflects on his "question and no answer" session at yesterday's IOC/BOCOG press conference.
I've found it: a perfectly legal way to achieve exactly the same effects as LSD without the potential for a criminal record. You too can experience sensations of parallel universe... possible out of body experience... the feeling that extra-terrestrial beings are in the same room as you - and no medical or psychological damage whatsoever.
I think.
Why, yes - all you need is an invitation to the BOCOG/IOC presser. In English, that's the morning press conference given by the Beijing Olympics organising committee and the International Olympic Committee. You will get all the above experiences and more. I assure you.
Essentially this is a new Olympic event where the BOCOG and IOC are fighting it out daily for gold and silver in the two-by-16-day Individual Evasion Medley. Mr Phelps had better stay in the water across the road - he'd be roadkill in this auditorium.
This is a new Olympic event, the Individual Evasion Medley.
Every day the masterful Mr Wang Wei from BOCOG outlines precisely how many officials, athletes and journalists have been to precisely which venues, and rounds it off with a lyrical and somehow touching weather forecast. In a deft master stroke yesterday morning, he brought in some dame from some cultural committee of the politburo or something. Off she went. Off I nodded. Then a man from The Guardian made a rustling sound in the row in front of me. I woke with a start. He had written THIS IS A STALLING TACTIC on his notebook. I expect to see that in tomorrow's paper. He was right, of course. But in the end we came to questions. It's a hoot. They have uniformed gophers all over the shop who dive at you to grab the microphone as soon as you've asked your question. No follow-ups.
Giselle, the IOC wordsperson, she kept her end up, valiantly talking about wonderful stadia, happy athletes, great atmos - anything but the Chinese.
Well, we were not having any of that malarkey. Mind you, we were not having any questions answered either. All I wanted to know was whether or not the IOC was embarrassed about the Chinese breaking so many pledges and promises on human rights, in order to get the games.
Good old Giselle, the IOC wordsperson, she kept her end up, valiantly talking about wonderful stadia, happy athletes, great atmos - anything but the Chinese. Or embarrassment. Oh no, Giselle ain't the kind of gal to let Wang Wei make all the running when it comes to international evasion.
And so it all rolled on somehow to a gentle conclusion. I don't recall any question actually meriting an answer, least of all mine, even though I'd asked it at least four times.
