Blog from Baghdad

A midday summer dream
8/5/2006

It seems like things are going to be intense again, not that they have actually normalized or anything, but everyone is afraid again of major military operations, this time in the south. Not long ago there were threats that the turn of the south has come. Dead bodies are being found every day dumped somewhere: 40, 50… of them everyday. Anyone who has someone missing goes to the morgue to check whenever they hear of new bodies being found. It is not clear how all this will straighten out, maybe it will take years to do so. If you look inside the head of any Iraqi you will find the following: fear of a civil war; fear of major military actions and having to leave your home eventually becoming a refugee in your own country; fear of daily explosions and assassinations; fear of being kidnapped and tortured; fear of losing your job; and finally concern of the deterioration of essential services and all the hazardous consequences. And I don't exaggerate when I say that these thoughts never leave our heads even when we are asleep, they come in the forms of nightmares in the few hours one manages to steal to sleep. Speaking of sleep, I was lying down to take a doze this afternoon and the windows were open, cos the power and the street generator were off. And at about 4:30 suddenly the sky turned all red, darkening to bloody red and black in less than a second, everything went from light to darkness. Oohhh I know what this means. It is one of those dust storms we have over here so often. So I jumped to shut all the windows in the house, I wetted a little handkerchief and put it on my mouth and nose to breath from (a home made filter), and I sat in the darkness waiting for it all to clear. After it clears it would be a call for arms again, I mean a call for mops, dusters, sponges buckets of water to clean every single part of the house.

Tell me why
I don't like Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays…..etc.
I want to shoot the whole week down
7/5/2006

This week judging by the way it has started apparently is going to be quite a gory one. Car bombs exploded in different areas causing deaths and wounding civilians as usual. At about 8:30 when we reached the office thuds were heard twice or more. As usual when that happens, each one of us hurries to his or her cell phone or the office phone to make sure everything is OK at home. Ambulance sirens roared, police loud speakers echoed asking cars to move aside to allow them to pass as quickly as possible to the scenes of death. Without all these explosions things are already bad enough. Companies, offices and banks are increasingly seen as tempting targets, it is like anticipating death with every knock on the door here in the office. This feeling grew stronger with what happened a few weeks ago, when a company located in a residential area was attacked in the morning by men in uniforms. They asked the employees to step out of the office, then they lined them all up, both men and women (3 or 4 women and 5 men) and they were all executed, shot in the spot. This incident was extraordinary in a way, it shocked the whole community. Of course there had been casualties among women before, but the method was new, everyone understood that the assassins were making a point, stating that there are no exemptions for any one: man or woman. So, many companies after that massacre seized working, they just gave their employees a month's payment and said goodbye. It is a misfortune to lose your job. In days like these, who couldn't do with an extra Dinar? Of course it is not only about money, it is like your whole future being postponed till further notice, especially when you leave a career that you have been pursuing and want to fulfill your dreams through it. It is a personal defeat more than anything else.

When I say unity I mean unity ! Do Ya Understand?
6/5/2006

It's Saturday and I'm off today too. Saturday has been a holiday for the last three years, although not in all establishments. I remember back then, there was a colossal debate about that vital ultimate question: whether Saturday or Thursday should be a holiday. Newspapers were writing about it, crazy clergymen were shrieking in the mosques about it and politicians were holding meetings about it. I remember even a couple of demonstrations demanding that Thursday not Saturday should be added to Friday as a holyday. As if it really mattered, as if everything else is intact, and only this small issue remains to be solved. A Saturday or a Thursday hmmmm…. Yes indeed what a dilemma. Maybe there will even be a civil war about it, who knows. I decided to read "The Blood of Others" by Simone de Beauvoir to take my mind of what is happening in Baghdad. Yeah right. ..wise choice. But that did not mean that I wasn't watching the news as well. Politicians have reached an agreement to behave themselves, and work for the benefit of Iraq and it's unity. We have an Arabic saying that goes "Hearing your words I believe you, but seeing your deeds amazes me". While they are talking about unity, militias and terrorists are acting otherwise in the streets. Now that Bush is talking about the Unity of Iraq, this idea is more appealing to them all of the sudden.
'Do ya have any problem with unity Sunni?'
'Who me? goodness gracious no '
'What about you Shi'i? '
' But of course not, it was on the tip of my tongue all the time.'
'And you Kurd?'
'I would never dream of separation in a million years.' We went shopping this afternoon, the shops are still open thank God. Our local grocer told his customers that all the shops in the area received a death threat a few days ago. It stated clearly that they would be shot if they open again, but touch wood nothing has happened yet and we managed to shop fruitfully and "vegetabley", for the time being at least.

One Saddam is more than enough!!!
4/5/2006

Yesterday when I returned home a friend phoned and asked whether we knew if any explosion had happened. I hadn't seen the news yet, but of course there is always an explosion somewhere. 'Why is everything OK', we asked. Well, this morning I was standing in Al Waziria district and I saw police pickup trucks full of dead bodies. Just like that piled on top of each other, tens of them. I asked, yet nobody knew what had happened. After dinner, I watched the news and there it all was; tens of dead bodies found by the police dumped in Al Sha'ab and Al Dora Areas. All the bodies belonged to young men (25-40 years old). All shot in the head with their arms tied behind their backs. Things like this have become so common but still so shocking and eerie. During the rule of Saddam any one could get arrested and executed on the basis of mere suspicion. There is not one Iraqi family without a story to tell about someone "who had been taken away". I remember with the fall of Saddam's Statue, all victims of that brutal regime looked up to the sky with gratitude, deeming this fall as his or her personnel victory. People had been ready for a change for years and the moment came. No one expected it to be an easy task though. 25 years of totalitarian rule was bound to leave scars and side effects. I remember me and my friends and relatives being euphoric at the time, and let anyone just dare and say that Saddam was a good guy. We jumped from our chairs with overwhelming evidence against that, defending our right for a democratic society. But gradually these moments became rarer with killing, rape, kidnap and unemployment remaining part of our daily ration.

Instead of mass graves, bodies are dumped without even being buried. There is no difference between being kidnapped, tortured or raped by security officials or by some criminal gang. Being driven out of your house is bad enough whatever the reason is. The harm is the same for the victim isn't it? The threat of a civil war is still looming stubbornly. When one complains, westerners may say: Well, in the time of Saddam you couldn't complain, now look at you, you are complaining isn't that great? I want to inform them, that even that right is not for granted. You can not say what you think freely since there are militias taking care of opponents, so one still has to be careful what to say in front of whom. All the suffering 'regardless to what is causing it' is directly linked to the absence of security, A problem that can only be solved now by more blood , or by a miracle, which Iraqis never seize to believe in.

A Dad in need
3/5/2005

The power came back at about 8 pm, which means the cut was for about 24 hours. Well, at least we had water to take endless showers, so one must thank God for little mercies! Today when I went to the office one of my friends wasn't there, she decided to take the day off . May be she has a power cut hang over. After the usual chit chat. the old man, whom we all adore for his kindness, wit and delicious coffee came in declaring that they returned the niece of the shopkeeper, whose place is just below our office. It was a heart breaking issue, though not that rare for the last three years. She is 12 years old, her father is retired, some time ago he bought a pathetic car, paying for it in small installments. He drives his daughter to school every day, and for a monthly fee, two other women to work. On their way home three days ago he was stopped by armed men and they pulled the little girl out of the car. The father was begging, kneeling down before them pleading to take him instead: 'There must be a kind of a mistake here boys I am a poor cab driver I receive a pension of 150 000 ID per month ($100), even if you chop me to pieces I can't afford much.' The women were screaming, but the girl was dragged away with her poor father filling the street with his sobs.

After a while he received a call demanding $50,000!!! He promised to sell everything he has, yet it won't be anything near the sum: OK they said, $20,000 then, or else …. He went to all the people he knew and those he didn't, to collect the money and he paid the kidnappers. This morning, she was set free. We decided to help, because we wanted to although we don't know him personally, since he is heavily in debt now. We didn't collect that much, but that was the best we could do. Since the invasion kidnapping has become the most lucrative business. It is estimated that more than 30 Iraqis per day are kidnapped. The majority are killed and their bodies dumped somewhere. Our driver didn't come today so our Boss offered to give us a lift: 'Come on girls,' he said, 'this is no time to get kidnapped we have work tomorrow.'
'What about me aren't you going to offer me a lift?' said one of our male colleagues, 'I may get kidnapped too you know.'
'With your moustache? No way!' we all said
The Boss switched on the air conditioning in his car: simply heaven on earth!
Before I knew it he said: 'Here you are.'
'What,' I said with disappointment 'Here already? Can I spend my siesta here please?'
'Off you go, see you tomorrow, if we are still alive.' he said.

Sleepless in Baghdad
2/5/2006

After a restless hot night, I dragged myself to work this morning. Everyone at the office looked run down and grumpy. The power went off yesterday at about seven pm and Baghdad was without electricity all night long. We were all so sleepy, even the strong black coffee couldn't bring us back to our senses. I heard on the radio something about sabotage and the usual vandalism. It is not even interesting to listen to any reasons or excuses anymore.

On a good day we get power for 2 hours every four or five hours. On a bad day, well 18 hours 'or even more' of darkness and unbearable heat. So, here we go again, the temperature is rising and the electricity is still a clear sign of the government's failure to solve the problem. Billions of dollars are being spent supposedly to obtain generators and fix networks, Yet... well last night speaks for itself.

What most people abroad do not understand is that electricity is not some kind of luxury over here 'Oh, well so you slept yesterday without your air conditioner, no big deal.' That is not the case at all. Electricity is a matter of life and death here, especially when temperature reaches 60o in July.

The street generator was out of order too: "Great "our Boss growled when we told him . We sat puffing and panting waving paper fans in front of our faces. At about one o'clock we were set free, having lost hope of the power coming back soon. When I arrived home the picture was even more messy; all the food in the freezer had thawed and had to be thrown away . Of course I could've cried, but it was too hot!.

Mister , Mister can I park my camel here?
1/5/2006

I come from a middle class liberal Iraqi family, both my parents have a degree and work. I have a Masters degree and I am dreaming of getting my Ph.D. I work in a private sector company.

Most westerners have in their minds images of ignorant Arabic women, shrouded in black, with nothing to do in life besides cooking and giving birth to a child every ten months (or if possible less), while sharing a bearded fat husband with other three wives. Well, I am afraid that is not true, at least for the last four generations. Once I heard some American official on TV say that the Iraqi women can now gain their freedom and get their chances in life. If only he had checked. There are as many doctors, engineers, teachers, scientists, lawyers, artists, writers, programmers, journalists, college professors, company directors among women as there are among men in Iraq. And starting from the fifties women were even sent abroad to study, unlike other Arabic countries who still haven't solved these issues.

Not all Iraqi women, including me, wear the traditional dress, although ironically the inclination to cover up heavily increased after the invasion, with all sorts of fanatics roaming around the streets freely imposing whatever law they consider appropriate. I think it is hard for any one to conceive that we had a more westernized way of life before the westerners actually came over!!! I remember before the war if I had to work extra hours it was no problem at all for me to stay till nine or ten pm at the office, and go out with my jeans and T shirt to get a cab and go home. While now 2 in the afternoon is the maximum and I always have to stick to my group cause it is too dangerous and anything can happen. Before the war; clubs, swimming pools, parties, college trips, picnics, restaurants were the normal way families in Baghdad spent their leisure time. Now the streets of Baghdad are deserted and quiet after sun set, except for the sounds of shots and explosions of course.

Law, security and order were the first war casualties.

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