Top 5 April Fools

1. Brown gets style lessons from Carla

The recent state visit by France's President Sarkozy and his glamourous new wife Carla Bruni resulted in hoaxing fever in this year's newspaper April Fools.

According to The Guardian today, "Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, the first lady of France, has been appointed by Gordon Brown to spearhead a government initiative aimed at injecting more style and glamour into British national life."

"To launch the scheme," The Guardian continues, "The Italian-born Bruni-Sarkozy, 40, will relocate to London for three months, starting in June, according to one Brown aide. She is expected to commute back to Paris via Eurostar for French state engagements involving her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy."

2. Sarkozy plans 'pioneering stretch surgery'

"Docs to stretch small Sarkozy" screams The Sun today.

"The 5ft 5ins leader has contacted a leading Swiss laboratory because he has become so paranoid about his frame," the paper reports.

"Doctors reckon they will be able to add an amazing FIVE INCHES to his height in just over a year. When surgery is completed he will be an inch taller than his stunning ex-model wife Carla Bruni."

3. And Penguins might fly...

The BBC released never-before-seen footage of penguins flying to warmer climes. Yes, flying.

As The Telegraph reports, "Camera crews discovered a colony of Adélie penguins while filming on King George Island, some 750 miles south of the Falkland Islands."

The colony fly over the presenter - Terry Jones. If you were taken in thus far, the presence of the ex-Monty Python star might set cynical alarm bells ringing.

If not, watch the special penguins land in the Amazonian rainforest to find winter sun. You can watch the video here.

4. Ramsay forswears the f-word

The Independent went for something almost equally incredulous: that celebrity TV chef swear-a-lot Gordon Ramsay had vowed to "forswear bad language after he gets the brush-off from Australia".

According to The Independent, "he plans to ban foul language in all his restaurants, whether in the kitchens or the dining areas.

"All over his considerable gastronomic empire, from his flagship eaterie in Chelsea to his controversial Gordon Ramsay New York, to his newest venture in Paris, opened to huge fanfares last week, and his Plane Food place in the bedevilled Terminal Five, the ban will come into operation on 1 May."

5. Darling's scratch cards

According to the Daily Mail Chancellor Alistair Darling has begun a new initiative to deal with the credit crunch - he's trying his luck on scratchcards.

"Other customers watched in amazement as the 54-year-old Cabinet Minister immediately scratched out the numbers with a £1 coin - and cursed his bad luck when he failed to win a prize," The Mail reports.

But, apparently, he's not a successful scratcher; so far he's only won a tenner.

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