Pop questions that have been troubling us: 2

One of Slashmusic's favourite magazines is Private Eye because we're really clever and stuff and know loads about politics and newspapers.

And we like the cartoons.

Talking of which, we particularly liked this brilliant Top Of The Pops pisstake that ran recently.

Now, we can see that's Alison Goldfrapp in the sparkly hat (love those backing singers!), but who's the band in the first frame? For some reason we keep thinking it's Oasis, but we're far from sure.

We'd like to throw this open to The People. And that means you. So if you have any ideas - perhaps you know the person who drew it - then email us now!

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Pop questions that have been troubling us: 1

Someone just called and asked us if we'd like to interview Mari Wilson. Now, you'd need to be at least in your mid-30s to even know who Mari Wilson was, so you can imagine our confusion.

Anyway, this got us thinking. Was Mari Wilson a bit big-boned or did we imagine that? And was Mari Wilson on 'Hit Me Baby One More Time', because we're sure we remember her on it.

Well, a quick flick through Google Images reveals that, no, the only big thing about Mari was her hair. So that's that question answered.

But what about the telly? Well, if Mari did appear, then not even the internet noticed - and the internet knows everything.

Which then made us think, well, is there anything the internet doesn't know? In the world of pop, when was the last time something happened so inconsequential that it wasn't logged somewhere with an accompanying picture and a casual mention of Limahl or Lemar?

And then we noticed an hour had passed and we thought we'd better crack on.

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Shut up you absolute bastard - premier issue!

We like opening our post in the morning. It always feels like something really exciting might appear and, very often, it does.

But sometimes, the excitement of new stuff overwhelms your sense of perspective. And today it happened with John Vanderslice. Great name, terrible bloody record.

We really should know better, but we were dragged in by the press release that announced: "John is a storyteller, sonic pioneer and studio owner."

"Cool, we need more sonic pioneers!" we thought. "Even if they are also studio owners."

Then we played the record :(

Crumbly wheezings and painfully unlistenable folk-hop doodles proving precisely why studio owners - who, by their very nature, have no sense of urgency - should never be allowed to actually release the records they make.

About ten minutes in one of us howled, 'Shut up you absolute bastard!' and a legend was born.

If you'd like your album to be considered for 'SUYAB', then send them to the usual address.

» Posted by: Slashmusic
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Show us your Bush!*

Trumpet time again!

We know what the new Kate Bush album is going to be called!

And we know when it's coming out!

» The new Kate Bush album will be called 'Aerial'!
» The new Kate Bush album will be a double album!
» The new Kate Bush album will be released on November 7 of this year!

And, and, and...

» The new Kate Bush single will be called 'King Of The Mountain' and it will be released on October 24 of this year!

So just to recap: Woohoo!

And that's all we know.

But it's a whole lot more than we knew yesterday.

Blow your trumpets now.



*Feel free to email us alternative Kate Bush puns. We're sure there's something to be had in "a bird in the hand..." but we're not entirely sure what.


» Posted by: Tim
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"I want her to live. I want her to breathe. I want her to aerobicise."

We thought we might have stopped finding GLC funny by now, but we haven't. Maybe that means we'll never grow up...

Anyway, the video for new single 'Your Missus Is A Nutter' is their take on the classic John Hughes teen movie 'Weird Science' in which two boys make a lady on a computer yet still don't do it with her even though she actually wants to - the idiots!

Watch it here!

But keep the sound down if you're round yer mum's because it's the rude version.


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

A free ride when you've already paid (or not)

Washington-based moody chaps Death Cab For Cutie have just released their new album 'Plans', but if you're a cautious sort (the kind of person who keeps a torch in the car in case of emergencies) then you'll want to hear a bit of it before you buy, won't you?

Well right here, right now you can download (yes, it's yours to keep) one whole track from the aforementioned long player.

Click for free-ness.

It's called 'Jealousy Rides With Me', and if you like that, well, you know what to do.

Buy it is what we're saying.

From a shop.


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

Franz update!

Oh look! Loads more Franz Ferdinand tracks! This fell through the letterbox last week, and since then we have learnt these things:

1. 'Do You Want To' has artfully ripped off something we can never quite put our finger on, but every time we hear it we think of Dusty Bin.

2 'Walk Away' is not, sadly, a cover version of The Sisters Of Mercy gloom 'n' doom classic, but is a twang-a-rama tearjerker where Alex proclaims how much he loves, "the sound of you walking away". But we bet he's just trying to be brave (blub).

3. 'The Fallen' has a walloping great bassline that staggers and swaggers all over the gaff like some insane Godzilla beast high on naughty drinks. "What's wrong with a little destruction?" they ask, quite reasonably. There are lots of references to drinking, limousines and fighting. Oh, and a "la-la-la-lala-la" chorus that will scar you for life.

4 'Outsiders' is the most alarming of the lot, being (apologies in advance, readers) a disco juggernaut headed directly for the planet kerr-azy. Clock those super-sized drums! Clock the uber-moronic, head-banging bassline! Dancefloor destroyers are us! Well, not us, them, but you get the idea.

5. There is no five. Sorry!

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Totally Strum-ptious!

We like Alexis Strum a lot.

A few days ago we saw her at a West London working men's club and she was, without wishing to be overly gushing and weird about it, completely breathtaking.

So, as you can imagine, we're cock-a-hoop about her forthcoming album ‘Cocoon' and her debut single, 'Bad Haircut', out on September 26.

Still not convinced? Then have a gander at this super exclusive video that we've prised from her evil* record company's paws.

Enjoy!

Hi / Lo

Now, allow us to point you in the direction of Ms Strum's lovely website.

* They're not really evil. Well, no more than all the others.

» Posted by: Mark
»Talk on boards

Fab Macca wacky thumbs aloft!

Sir Paul of McCartney has a new single out next week, readers! It's called 'Fine Line' and it's out on Monday August 29. And we think it's somewhat of a 'return to form' for the music legend and all round nice bloke.

But don't take our word for it - why not have a 'shufty' at this clip that we've made appear on the internet?

Fab!

Hi / Lo


» Posted by: Amy
»Talk on boards

Replay Rihanna, er, regularly

It's the lovely Rihanna of 'Pon De Replay' fame!

Jay Z was the first celebrity she'd ever met and he signed her to his label. Paul Daniels was the first famous person we ever met and he didn't even show us a trick. What a swizz.

Anyway, click here for a bitesized portion of Rihanna video interview loveliness.

You'll like it. Not a lot - but you'll like it. What kind of a catchphrase was that anyway? Pah!


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

How to come back from the dead - lesson one

When the whole world has written you off as a one hit wonder, and consigned you to the bin marked 'we liked it when you snogged each other but went off you when we found out it was all pretend', how do you get back on the pop horse and ride it bareback to the top of the charts?


» Well, first you make a record we at Slashmusic think is as good as, if not better than, anything you've done before.

» Second, make an accompanying video that's the best and most jaw-droppingly shocking thing we at Slashmusic have seen all year.

» Third, get the pony out of the stable - you're galloping to Hitsville!

Welcome back taTu!

Click here to watch the totally uncensored you-won't-see-this-on-the-telly video for their new single 'All About Us', then show it to your friends and watch their faces when 'it' happens.

Violent Russian fake-lez-tastic!


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

Ve're off!

We're off, we're off, we're off in a motor car. To The V Festival, ladies and gents. We're all very excited about going to the 'people's festival' in Stafford (none of this schmoozing celebrities in Essex nonsense for us) and seeing all the fabulous bands on offer! Woo!

GM is particularly excited. He's even got his wellies on already.

» Posted by: Amy
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Keep a part of art in your heart

We spent a fair amount of time yesterday poring over the new McFly album sleeve.

Our findings are available to all...

» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

Polyphonic glee

It’s not often that we find ourselves in a cramped moshpit before a stage of robed, chanting hippies. In fact, it's not often enough. But this was precisely our situation this week when we strode purposefully down to Camden’s Koko to catch The Polyphonic Spree in 'action'.

As Spree virgins, we weren’t quite sure what to expect, but we can report the following:

1. A number of the crowd arrived dressed in full-on Polyphonic-style ‘robes’. They’d have caught their death if it had rained.

2. The place erupted into serious, prolonged hysteria as soon as the Spree arrived on stage. Odd.

3. As the venue got hotter and hotter, the Spree became more and more frenzied, dancing like lunatics. We wondered if they were a bit hot in their robes.

4. And, indeed, if they were actually wearing anything under their robes.

5. None of the songs seemed to have any discernable melody or structure, and seemed more like elongated chants either worshipping the sun, or concerning peace, love and happiness. Excellent!

6. Despite ourselves, we found ourself clapping and chanting along, like we’d just discovered Stonehenge in our garden. Was it the preachings of the Spree, or the ale we'd supped?

7. Just as we started to get into it, the performance finished, leaving us - ahem - gasping for more. Did we like any of their songs? We’re not completely sure, but we did leave the venue feeling like we’d either had some kind of Godlike experience, or been brainwashed. Perhaps they're the same thing.

Who cares!

» Posted by: Mark
»Talk on boards

Do you want to? Oh go on then.

Go to the highest turret in your best castle and blow this till a vein bursts!

The new Franz Ferdinand single has arrived!
It looks like this thing on the right here:

And it sounds like, well, blimey. I mean.... It's sort of, you know, how does one describe it? It's huge but in a fun way - like Dawn French. And everyone who hears it says it sounds like a novelty record but in a good way - like, erm, 'Vindaloo' by Fat Les. Or perhaps not.

One of us in the office thinks it owes something to ABBA's 'Does Your Mother Know'. Our work experience fella thinks it's like Sparks and somebody else is convinced it's a glam rock version of the theme tune to 'Auf Wiedersehen Pet'.

And you can't get better than that. Not much.


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

What we've been doing all afternoon

The Love Bites game is the future of everything!

And that's official.

More Love Bites love here!



» Posted by: Rob
» Talk on boards

Playlist alert!

We've been listening to, like, loads of records... Amazing.

LORRAINE ‘Saved' (Genepool Records)
New! From Norway! The best PSB / New Order-esque synth pop record since, um, records began. Lorraine is also the best band name EVAH!

JENTINA ‘Smoke’ (Virgin album track)
Sounding like Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ mashed up with Madonna’s ‘Bad Girl’, the surly gypsy rapstress is back with this tribute to her dead brother, taken from her forthcoming album ‘Do Not Disturb’.

SUGABABES ‘It Ain't Easy‘ (Island album track)
A Sugababes song, but all growed up and proper like. “It ain’t easy being me,” they snarl over tough swing beats and fabulously evil synth bass drones. Crivens!

KATE RUSBY ‘No Names’ (Pure Records album track)
Barnsley’s folk princess returns and brings with her a heart-rending duet with Idlewild’s Roddy Woomble which is about a hundred times more beautiful than even you could imagine. Graham Coxon drew the album cover picture. He’s coloured it in and everything.


BROADCAST – ‘America's Boy’ (Warp single)
CLICK FIVE - 'Just A Girl' (US radio promo)
CLOR – ‘Dangerzone’ (Regal album track)
FRANZ FERDINAND - 'Do You Want To' (Domino)
DAVID GRAY - 'The One I Love' (Atlantic)
HUSH - 'Lovestruck' (Island)
LIBERTY X - ‘Song For Loverz’ (EMI single)
LOVEBITES - ‘You Broke My Heart’ (Island)
TAJ MAHAL & TOUMANI DIABATE – ‘Queen Bee’ (Rykodisc album track)
TEAIRRA MARI - ‘No Daddy’ (Universal album track)
THE MITCHELL BROTHERS – ‘Alone With The TV’ (The Beats album track)
MOZEZ - ‘Spinning Top’ (Apace album track)
SUGABABES - 'Ugly’ (Island)
SUGABABES - ‘Red Dress’ (Island album track)
SWAY – ‘Up Your Speed’ (679 compilation track)
t.a.T.u. – ‘All About Us’ (Polydor single)

» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

Hackwatch: Sigur Ros

Sigur Ros [it's Icelandic for 'Victory Rose'] are back. Hurrah.

Across the nation, lonely music hacks are wetting themsleves with pleasure at the chance to a) go to Iceland and stare at attractive blonde people under the pretext of 'writing a feature' and b) cough up flowery bollocks about how SR's, like, rilly amazing songs sound like whales pooing God's own farts through their eyeballs or something.

Yesterday, even The Sun fell at their feet, proclaiming that, "No words can do justice to this..." which seems a bit much for what is, essentially, a pop record. A very good pop record, granted, but hey! Let's get some perspective here people!

Anyway their new single 'Glosoli' goes like this: band records song that has quiet bit (which is really quiet) and really flaming loud bit which makes the world collapse with shock. Brilliant.

Sadly, all the extraneous nonsense makes Sigur Ros seem weird and unapproachable when actually they're bloody great and you'll probably really like the darned song if the idiots don't put you off it first.

So there. You can download it here! Double hurrah.

Now, when you next read or hear anything about SR that makes you howl with disbelief then send it to us and we'll deal with it by the medium of a great big bonfire.

A bonfire that will rage across the land with the cleansing anger of a million dying suns!

Oh bollocks...

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Earlier blog stories...