No Jo, no show

We've spent probably longer than is entirely sensible listening to the Jo O'Meara album.

And while it's clear to anyone with eyes to see that the woman needs to buy a shirt that fits properly, it's also clear that the album has moments that are really, really great, and, well, moments that aren't.




So, the single 'What Hurts The Most' (track 2) is actually rather marvellous. So is 'Wish I Was Over You' (track 3). We like 'To Ease Your Pain' (track 4) as well. But after that, things go a little downhill.

Frankly, it sounds like the money / ideas ran out.



What really surprised us though was how confused we got between Jo's album and the new Sheryl Crow, um, waxing.

So much so that we started getting them confused.








And then we realised how much Sheryl looks like Natasha Kaplinsky. At which point we opened the windows and started thinking about something else for a while.

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Born to make you happy!

Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Spears-Federline on the birth of their beautiful baby boy (well we say it's beautiful, but actually most babies are stinky, wrinkly, scrawny, screaming, selfish idiots. Still, it's different when they're your own).

Anyway, we imagine you'll be receiving invites to the baby shower shortly, so here are some suggestions if you're stuck for suitable gift ideas:




1. A tiny outfit bearing the slogan “I’m not a girl” to avoid the common problem of baby gender misidentification. Of course, the baby is not yet a woman, either. Although he might choose to be one later in life. Which is fine.










2. Some rusks - he won't be able to eat solid food until his teeth get 'Stronger'. Although at the moment, he has no teeth at all, so Britney will have to mash the rusks up with milk, or just chew them herself and regurgitate them. That's what birds do, you know.










3. Plasticine - the toy that stretches the imagination but more importantly, it's non-'Toxic'. Other non-toxic things include water, flapjacks, oxygen, mashed potatoes and Baby Spears-Federline's parents. Actually, we're not sure about that last one.









4. A worm to wear round his neck so he can be just like mummy in that video. Except we're not sure what Freud would make of that. Hmm.









5. A copy of this inspiring tome in case Britney is tempted to hit her 'Baby One More Time'! Arf!







Alternatively, you could just not bother. It's a baby. It won't say thank you, or anything. Cuh!


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

Nano a Nano

We were reading about those new iPod Nanos the other day when a bloke we know from down the pub called us to say he'd just got his hands on one.

So we said, "Why don't you test it out for us?".

And he did. Using science.

» Posted by: Rob
»Talk on boards

Straight from our brains to your eyes...

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the Slashmusic playlist: all the amazing records that are making us go all unnecessary in all the right places. We especially recommend that one.

THE LEGENDARY KO ‘George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People’ (free download)
Inspired by Kanye West’s off-script rant at the President’s apparent failure to respond to the plight of those caught up in hurricane Katrina, this is Kanye’s own ‘Gold Digger’ re-written and re-rapped to stunning effect. “I ain’t sayin’ he’s a gold digger / but he ain’t lookin’ for no broke niggers". Get it here.

DEAD 60s ‘Police Radio Dub’ (Deltasonic album track)
From their ‘Space Invader Dub’ album, which sounds – surprisingly - highly authentic. Dark, delicious and dangerous, this is to be listened to in a smoke-filled room, while nodding sagely.

TONI BRAXTON ‘Take This Ring’ (Blackground album track)
Super producer Rich Harrison (‘Crazy In Love’, ‘One Thing’), works his trademark ‘Washington go-go’ magic on this standout track from Toni’s forthcoming album. A stunning return to form.

LORRAINE ‘She Lives In Gardens’ (demo)
Norway’s finest do it again, on the 6-track CD of demos that only we in the whole world have. Hurrah!

GOOD SHOES ‘Small Town Girl' (unsigned)
Quirky track from unsigned London band who are set for bigger, and almost certainly better, things. Watch, as they say, this space…

Also tickling our 'fancy' are...

» ARCADE FIRE ‘Rebellion (Lies)’ (Rough Trade single)
» BOB DYLAN ‘Maggie’s Farm’ [live at Newport] (Columbia album track)
» COCOROSIE ‘Bear Hides And Buffalo’ (Touch & Go album track)
» DEVENDRA BANHART ‘I Feel Just Like A Child' (XL single)
» GOLDIE LOOKIN’ CHAIN ‘No Win No Fee’ (Atlantic album track)
» GOLDIE LOOKIN’ CHAIN ‘RnB’ (Atlantic album track)
» JESSE MOLNAR ‘Listen To Me’ (unsigned)
» KANO ‘Nite Nite’ (679 album track)
» LCD SOUNDSYSTEM 'Tribulations’ [Lindstrom mix] (DFA)
» PUSSYCAT DOLLS ‘Bite The Dust’ (Universal album track)
» RAVEONETTES ‘The Heavens’ (SonyBMG album track)
» RICHARD HAWLEY ‘Coles Corner’ (Mute Records album track)
» SEBASTIEN TELLIER ‘La Ritournelle’ (Lucky Number single)
» STEREOLAB ‘Kybernetick A Babicka’ (Too Pure single)
» SUGABABES ‘Obsession’ (Island album track)
» THICKE featuring PHARRELL ‘Wanna Love You’ (StarTrak single)
» TIM DELAUGHTER 'Thumbsucker OMPST' (EMI)
» VASHTI BUNYAN 'Lookaftering’ (FatCat Album)
» VASHTI BUNYAN ‘If I Were’ (FatCat album track)

That's enough for you to be getting on with, surely...

» Posted by: Amy
»Talk on boards

Pink Floyd: Back together! Again!

Pink Floyd, eh? What are they like? No shows and a fair amount of animosity for, like, a thousand years, then, all of a sudden, they're all over the place.

First it was Live8, now all four are confirmed to appear on stage as they're inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame this November. This is only their second appearance together since the final performance of The Wall at Earls Court on June 17 1981.

Oh blimey.

The UK Music Hall of Fame extravaganza will be on Channel 4 this November as part of a special season of music programmes, starting with The Biggest Selling Artists Of The Millennium, a countdown of the biggest albums since 2000 and John Peel’s Record Box - a startling insight into the DJ and broadcaster's private record collection.

Now, if that isn't worth watching, we don't know what is. Well, actually, we do. But it's unlikely to be scheduled anytime soon. Because it's foul.

» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

You're not singing anymore!

At a time when most of Britain is gloating at people on the other side of the world over the result of a very confusing game that everyone is suddenly pretending to be a fan of, we'd like to direct your attention to something the Australians are consistently good at - drinking pop music.

We're currently being bowled over (ha ha ha ha!) by 'Into The Light Again', the debut album from Her Name In Lights who are from Sydney (or thereabouts).

A lovely collection of songs about boys and cars by Mary Wyer, formerly of John Peel favourites Even As We Speak, who followed in the tradition set by The Go-betweens of being a great Australian pop group who never had a hit single. And featuring a fella out of The Hummingbirds, who were another one (make joke about Aussies, and failure to hit, here).

Anyway, we love it because it sounds old and folky and as if it was recorded in someone's kitchen (it probably was), and because it also sounds how we imagine a solo album from Angela out of The Magic Numbers might sound if she made one, and it was about cars and boys.

Hear a sample for yourself at Her Name In Lights' official site. Lovely, eh?

The album was released on Monday so go buy it and cheer up our Antipodean cousins because clearly they're never going to beat us at a sporting event ever again, are they?


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

Can you help Antony?

Public appeal alert! The other day, we chatted to that Antony, of Johnsons and Mercury Music Prize fame, and he asked us to help him find his old friend from school.

This is what he said:

"There is one person I’d really like to seek out and I want you to help me! Her name’s Rachel and I went to school with her in Chichester. Get in touch Rachel! She was my best friend in school and I always wondered what happened to her.

She was amazing! Totally amazing! She was such a good friend. Rachel was the only black girl in the class and I was the only queen, and it would be incredible to see her again. That would be my ‘This Is Your Life’ moment. If you can help me find her I’ll be forever grateful!"

So there you have it. If you are the same Rachel from Chichester who went to school with Antony, email us now!

» Posted by: Slashmusic
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The mystery person...

...is Paul Anka, ladies and gentlemen!

Click here for music legend anecdotes aplenty!


» Posted by: Slashmusic
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Rock on, Tommys

FYI: Girls With Guitars are stingingly hot. You only have to look at The Faders' chart domination to, um, oh, hang on...

Anyway, when we're not playing the backside out of the Love Bites single or dancing round a fire made out of unloved Pure T's CDs, we often ask ourselves: "When will the next great Girls With Guitars lot come stumbling our way?"

Well, now they have.

They are The Tommys, their single is called 'The Day The World Turned Chav' and, heavens to betsy, it's actually quite good. Not as good as the Love Bites, but no one - apart from Lorraine - is as good as the Love Bites.

Described in their press release as: "Girls doing what boys used to do – fucking rocking it live!" (which is swearing), and with an average age of 17, The Tommys namecheck fake Reebok-wearing estate monkeys, Tracey Sovereign and her boyfriend Kevin, Argos, Kwik Save, chip shops and the binge-drinking teen's tipple of choice, Diamond White.

Amazing.

When we asked to hear more tracks, we were sent ‘5 Star Queen Of The Backseat’ which is - already! - "the third most requested song on Signal Radio in Stoke", so all is good on that score too.

As of this afternoon, we are secretly praying for a surprise hit.

Let’s just hope Lady Sov don't 'ear abaht it :(

» Posted by: Mark
»Talk on boards

Woo... it's a mystery!

Hello, readers. Which globe-trotting music star do you think has met Elvis, The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Miles Davis and JFK, amongst many others?

Well we're not going to tell you yet, but we will have an interview with said music star coming up in two shakes of a lamb's tail...


» Posted by: Amy
»Talk on boards

The world's grimmest smokes

Slashmusic can reveal that the Czechoslovakian Lambert & Butlers we found in our office last week belonged to...

... Frankie Goes To Hollywood!

Would you believe it? Frankly, no. But anyway, it's true. FGTH, complete with new singer Ryan, were in our office last week, and there will be video evidence for you to enjoy very soon!

Hurrah!

» Posted by: Amy
»Talk on boards

Slashmusic Showcase champions!

You have voted for your favourite Slashmusic Showcase act and the results have been counted. All 7000 of them.

So, who have you picked to appear on the Slashmusic TV show?

Why, who else but this remarkable lot!

Hurrah!

» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

I can't believe they're not nutters!

Have you heard the new single by Welsh scoundrels Goldie Lookin' Chain, 'Your Missus Is A Nutter'? Do you, like, 'relate' to it and stuff? Is your missus an actual fact bona fide nutter, as documented in the Newport lads' tune? Do you fear for your life / reputation / fertility once your girlfriend, fiancee or wife gets a few drinks inside her?

Well fair play to her we say, but if you want to 'share', you might consider going here and playing GLC's rather cheeky new game.

What happens is, you post a picture of your other half on the interweb and rate her on how nuts she is, then other people take a look and rate her on how nuts they think she is. Amazing!

And what's more, the boyfriend / husband of the nuttiest missus gets to go paintballing with GLC and a bunch of his mates! And their lady thus gets a day to herself, which surely has got to be the best prize of all, yes?

» Posted by: Amy
»Talk on boards

Petering out

Andi Peters has quit Top Of The Pops.





» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

99 problems... well, 3 anyway

"Hello, Slashmusic? Would you like to go to a Roca-a-Fella showcase where Jay Z himself will introduce a performance by his new signing Teairra Marí? There'll be free booze and you'll have VIP status."


Well how could we refuse?



One day we'll learn not to get our hopes up.

On arriving at London's Café de Paris, we discover the VIP wristbands are rather less exclusive than their name might suggest. In fact, there were more very important people than not, leading security to panic and close the specially cordoned off area, meaning superstars of the calibre of Tim Westwood and Richard Blackwood had to stand downstairs with the hoi polloi. And us.

Secondly, there were no free drinks. None at all. Now we're not expecting anyone to start crying about that. There are poor people in the world who never even get a sniff of a complimentary Sea Breeze. But a promise is a promise!

Never mind, there's a bar, might be a bit pricey seeing as we're at a swanky venue but... fucking hell! £8 for a rum and coke! £8! We'd want dinner with a side order of chips for eight quid, and they'd better be damn good chips. Hello, Café de Paris, we appreciate you have a business to run but we're seriously considering phoning Watchdog about this. What is the difference between charging a thirsty punter £8 for a drink and billing a frail old lady £200 to change a washer on her dripping tap? Grr!

Anyway, Shawn "Jay Z" Carter came on stage before we'd had two expensive mouthfuls, and was greeted by a sea of camera phones. "I see there's no shortage of cameras in England," said Jay Z. He's not wrong.

Then, after a bit, the lady they're calling 'Princess of the Roc' (what does that make Rihanna - court jester?), Teairra Marí, came on stage and did her thing. She opened with 'No Daddy' (as in "I didn't have no Daddy" rather than "No Daddy, don't do that!" thank goodness), which, in our opinion, based on hearing her do two more songs, is 'the good one'.

Unfortunately for Teairra, Daddy Jigga chose to watch her by hanging over the balcony above the stage, making it look as if he was about to hock a loogie, and proving far too much of a distraction to the camera phone-wielding boys who preferred to look at the very famous rich rapper instead of the not-yet-famous pretty singing lady.

Still, apart from the VIP balls-up and the free drink lie and the robbery at the bar and the not very good music we had quite a nice time. Sort of.

Hmm.


» Posted by: Tim
»Talk on boards

"George Bush doesn't care about black people"

Appearing on American television as part of a live NBC telecast in aid of hurricane Katrina relief, Kanye West departed from the script and delivered this damning indictment, much to the surprise of the show's producers and his
co-host, comedian Mike Myers:


"I hate the way they portray us in the media.
If you see a black family it says they are looting; if you see a white family it says they are looking for food.

And you know that it's been 5 days, because most of the people are black and even for me to complain, I would be a hypocrite because I would turn away from the TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before giving a donation and so right now I'm calling my business manager to see what is the biggest amount I can give.

And just to imagine if I was down there, those are my people down there. So anybody out there who wants to help with the set up, the way that America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well off as slow as possible. I mean, Red Cross is doing everything they can.

We already realise a lot of the people that could help are at war now fighting another way and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us.

George Bush doesn't care about black people."

These comments were deleted from a later rebroadcast of last Friday's show.

Click here to watch that Kanye West off-script outburst in full.



» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

Listen to what the man says

Paul McCartney's made a new album! That's quite exciting, isn't it?

We're not gonna tell you about it, though. We'll let the fella in the video below do that. He seems to know what he's talking about...

The making of 'Chaos & Creation In The Backyard'

Hi / Lo

» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

What is Emma B doing?

What is television's Emma B doing?

We don't know.

She might be introducing our exclusive behind-the-scenes V Festival footage featuring interviews with the bands, the fans and, er, the people who drive the vans.

Go watch that here!

But when you've finished, perhaps you might like to show us just what it is you think TV's Emma B is doing in this picture, using some sort of photo shopping software. Would you like to do that? Oh, go on.

We'll probably give some sort of prize to the best one.


» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

Is this the end for Andy Bell? No! It's just the beginning!

WORLD EXCLUSIVE ALERT!

Andy Bell has had more hits than someone who's not had as many hits as Andy Bell has and he's probably had a fairly high number. At least.

Anyway, he has a new one in the offing. It's called 'Crazy' because, in these days of global worming or whatever it's called, everyone is a bit 'Crazy', aren't they? Or maybe Andy's just 'Crazy' and the rest of us are totally sane. In the video there's a great bit with a ruler (pictured) called 'Andy Bell'.

Because he IS the ruler. Of emoto-pop. Do you see?

Meanwhile, we keep mis-spelling 'Crazy' as 'Carzy' which is a bit Carry On, but anyway, here it is, exclusively on Slashmusic, Andy Bell, yes, him out of Erasure, going 'Crazy'.

But not going 'Crazy' on the 'Carzy' because that would be absolutely foul.

Oh yes.

» Posted by: Slashmusic
»Talk on boards

Mick Hucknall: aggravating the entire globe since 1985

Now, everyone loves Mick Hucknall, right? We mean, when you think of the ginger dreads and the ruby in the teeth and the blubber squeezed into shiny black plastic and the general air of appallingness, you have to ask yourself: "Hey! what's not to like?"

Well, apparently, quite a lot - for it turns out that the Simply Red frontman was forced to lamp a 'fan' who jumped on stage during a show in Cuba recently and attacked the carrot-topped model banger.

Shortly after the event, Hucknall’s manager Ian Grenfell said: "What is so worrying is that we don't know what the man's intentions were."

Well, we've got a few ideas, but let the man finish.

Grenfell continued: "Police say the man was stoned but what is unclear is why he took exception to Mick."

Well, stoned or not, there is, like we mentioned earlier, the ginger dreads, the ruby in the teeth, the blubber squeezed... Look you get the idea, right?

» Posted by: Slashmusic
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Earlier blog stories...