As we trek down the hill from the carpark, we stop to listen to The Levellers blasting out their trustafarian folk rock from the main stage. As the classic refrain from 'What A Beautiful Day' drifts over the Isle of Wight hills, we might as well be back in 1993 with Mudhoney and Alice In Chains scrawled over our school bag in Tip Ex.


After setting up camp, we head back to the main stage where we stumble upon a northern club comedian called Barry Peters, who claims to have been "working the clubs of Corfu for 20 years". He introduces an act called Double Penetration, who do robotic dancing wearing lycra and wigs to the tune of Dolly Parton's '9 To 5'. As they finish, Barry - who we're starting to think is such a cliche of a mildly-homophobic club MC that he might be one of The Cuban Brothers putting on an act - says to the crowd: "Ladies and gentlemen, that was absolutely sh*t..." big pause, "hot." Boom boom.

Overheard words #804: "The band Suede, do you like them?"
"They got a few good songs, yeah."

In the Club Dada tent, Voodoo Trombone Quartet are playing a cajun version of what sounds like a Benny Goodman big band song. For a trombone quartet, we're a bit disappointed to learn that they only have one trombone, but the suit-clad eight-piece deliver a blinding set including a song called 'Your Pleasure Is Our Pleasure', something the small crowd are taking much pleasure in.

Overheard words #804: People singing Razorlight's 'Before I Fall To Pieces' before one of them falls over and they all pile on shrieking "Before I fall to pieces, ha ha ha ha, ooh argghhh!".

Back on the main stage are the usually shambolic The Go! Team. The Brighton six-piece are all over the place and singer Ninja's chants are incomprehensible over the band's racket, but she's looking funky in silky seventies short shorts and multicoloured leggings. But she does manage to make herself heard to tell the crowd that their famale guitarist only just made it to the festival after being involved in a 70mph car crash on the way down. The car apparently crashed into the central reservation and everyone was rushed to hospital, but the brave guitarist shrugged off her sling and donned her axe regardless. "Don't hurt yourself, girl," says Ninja. The crowd goes nuts as they launch into recent single 'Grip Like A Vice' and we're carried away on Ninja's energy.

In the BBC Introducing tent, we pass some people nodding their heads appreciatively to uptempo indie from newcomers XX Teens, accompanied by two dancers on stage in full fish fancy dress throwing their fins in the air.

Over in the Big Top, hip hop DJ and general laughing stock Tim Westwood is 'dropping some bombs' while the big screens run adverts for his 'Tim Westwood - The Takeover' CD. The 49-year-old from Lowestoft has some advice for the crowd: "There's one rule and one rule only at Bestival: what goes to Bestival stays at motherf**king Bestival," he says, "apart from an STD - you take that sh*t home with you. So wrap it up before you slap it up." Good grief.

At the House Of Bamboo in the 24 Hour field, we stand next to a man in a gimp mask wearing a fetching orange bumbag as we watch Mr Hudson And The Library, a ska five-piece with a girl on steel drums. We'd say that their summery sound reminds us of Jamiroquai and Just Jack but that would do the band a disservice.

Over on the main stage, headliners The Chemical Brothers are in full flow lighting up the night sky with lasers and throwing down their block-rocking beats. Although Tom and Ed can't be seen behind the mountain of studio gear piled high on the stage, their set - taken mostly from their latest album - is what the fancy dress pirates want to hear and there is much ooh arghhh-ing as they launch into old favourite 'Hey Boy, Hey Girl'. Atop someone's shoulders, a six-year-old boy has his hands in the air with a fistful of glowsticks in each, punching the air like a seasoned raver.

A group of people push past rudely wearing 'Be Nice To Each Other' stickers on their foreheads. We're not sure if they appreciate the irony.

Overheard words #805

"Right, I'm going back for a Pot Noodle and a w*nk."

Read on...