Hello The Subways!
Hello Slashmusic!
What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?
Charlotte: Picking a ten pound note out of custard. We did a children’s TV show today and they have this game called Are You Up For It.
Billy: No it’s called Are You Up Ferret, you know, like 'up for it' but with 'ferret' instead.
Charlotte: They asked us to do stuff, we had to pretend to be pirates and Darth Vader and pick a ten pound note out of custard with my mouth which was great. It’s the third time we’ve done that programme and we keep going back, it’s so much fun.
Good clean fun too. Hurrah! What’s the worst thing to you’ve ever seen on a subway?
Billy: Ooh, the worst would have to be when we were coming home from a gig one night and there were these really drunken girls at the other end of the cabin. They were trying to be really cool and then one of them all of a sudden started puking in a corner. It’s probably the worst thing that can happen to you on a subway, being stuck underground with a puker.
What will you be glad to say goodbye to from 2005?
Billy: My baggy trousers!
Charlotte: Oh yeah, Billy’s going for the skinny jean look.
Billy: And also because I’d worn my baggy trousers out. I had this pair of 507s that I’ve loved for the past two years and I’ve been wearing them pretty much for all of the forty date tour we’ve just completed, obviously washing them quite regularly. I think my arse looks better in these skinny jeans. [Waves said arse in Slashmusic's face]
Charlotte: He keeps seeing himself in skinny jeans and liking what he sees!
Billy: I got this pair from H&M for free when I walked in and showed them my famous card. I’m a member of the famous club!
Will you please stop waving that thing at us. Why isn’t Josh’s girlfriend in the band?
Charlotte: Having his girlfriend in the band would be a very bad idea! She’d forget to turn up to the gigs!
Billy: She’s fine where as she is. She cares for Josh and that’s great. Artistically it would be like a body rejecting a bad body part. We’re a great functioning unit as we are.
What animal would you most like to be killed by?
Billy: Pterodactyl. If you’re going to be hypothetical about this I’m going to go right back to 65 million years ago for my choice. Pterodactyl because they’re so graceful in the sky and so deadly and territorial on the ground.
Charlotte: I think I’d probably say a tiger because maybe I’d turn into a cat. I think I was a cat in a past life. Maybe a cat killing me would send me back to being a cat again.
Maybe, or perhaps you're just a bit mental. When was the last time you were sick on someone?
Billy: I was sick on Charlotte! I knew I was going to puke, and luckily we got into the house, but I had to climb in through a window to get in and that was hard enough. We were lying on the futon downstairs in Charlotte’s parents' place, and all I can remember is Charlotte holding out her hands.
Charlotte: [shows Slashmusic the smallest pair of hands ever] I only did it because I didn’t want it going all over my mum and dad’s house.
What? With those tiny stumps?
Charlotte: I know! I spilt most of it running to the toilet. I really had to run with it.
Billy: I avoid all of Charlotte’s vomit. It smells a lot and I’m always too busy laughing at her because she’s so timid and she does tiny little lady pukes.
What would you do to Gary Glitter if you were the head of the Vietnamese police?
Billy: I think he should be purged and exiled to an island full of paedophiles who are all bald ugly fat men. I just think something like that or an island of ugly old women would really torture the bastard. I’d send Ted Bundy if he was still alive.
Charlotte: Who’s Ted Bundy?
Billy: Prolific serial killer. Killed loads.
Charlotte: Oh. Well I’d send that awful man off X Factor. What’s his name? Chico! It’s so not Chico time, just go away! I don’t like those shows but I like Girls Aloud, I like that one, what’s it called, 'Dancing With The Underground'.
Yes. Something like that. What do you want for Christmas?
Charlotte: A really big turkey.
A live one?
Charlotte: No, one on the table!
Billy: Can you imagine me walking in with a turkey on a leash for Charlotte? Happy Christmas!
And a happy Christmas to you 'n' all! Thank you The Subways!
No Slashmusic, thank you.
