Hello Robert, you're from Norway. Is that nice?

Norway is beautiful. The west coast is stunning. The fjords, the architecture... It's the only country in the world that has fjords! But the beer is definitely too expensive for an Englishman. It's hard to sell Norway. But I only talk about Norway in the positive, it is a great country.

So you have a great country and a glittering music career ahead of you, what do you want that you don't have now?

A boat. To have a girlfriend now would just be too much. It takes a lot of time to have a girlfriend, I think. But it would be great to have a boat in which to spend my time off. A fast boat so I could go waterskiing. Not sailing, that's too boring.

We think your video is ace. Did you have anything to do with that?

I said it had to be animated, cartoon-like, colourful, surreal - like The Beatles' 'Yellow Submarine'. My performance was done in a day but the animation work after that took four weeks. It was fun though.

You keep an online diary, which mostly says you're bored and has occasional references to nuts. Are you generally a bored, nut eater?

I do still eat nuts but I'm never bored. I usually write in the diary about ten minutes before I go to bed and say things that I don't really mean. Pretty much ninety percent is written when I'm drunk. You've been at 'work' all day, you go out and drink and go home alone and you think: "What about if I write something about how miserable I feel right now?"

You put work in inverted commas, is what you do not work then?

No, not at all. This is not a proper job like packing eggs or driving a taxi, it's just a hobby. That's the way I look at it. I've never 'worked' with writing songs, I just do it. I play shows and I enjoy it. You can call it a job but the fact that it's something you love makes it not a job.

Do you read your own reviews?

Sometimes. I think I have to stop now. I do search my own name on the internet just to see if I can find reviews of when we were touring. So far they've been good but there will be a lot of bullshit and I think it could make you paranoid if you kept looking at it. If there's one bad review out of a hundred then you'll always just remember that bad one. But I haven't had a bad review yet. It's more like people posting on message boards saying "blah blah blah." Everyone gets that but I shouldn't go in and read it.

If you could write your own review, what would you want it to say?

He's fucking brilliant! No, I don't know... Maybe that I am a cross between The Beatles and Frank Zappa. The music I write is Beatle-ish but I'm really inspired by the way Zappa arranged, composed and produced music. I want to make more interesting music than the pop shit that's around.

Pop shit! What can you mean?

Keane? No, I'm just kidding. I like Keane. I mean pop like Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears; the manufactured pop. I would say that 'Baby One More Time' is a brilliant song but it just doesn't sound good. I want to make music that's more spontaneous and creative.

What do you think people say about you behind your back?

That I talk too much shit. Sometimes I think I should shut my mouth. I think that I have an opinion on everything. I make up an opinion just to have an opinion and sometimes it's better to shut up.

If you weren't you, would you buy your records?

Yes. You can't make an album that you don't like. Some people do but I don't. I make the music that I want to hear and I record it the way that I want it to sound. You can't say that you don't want to buy your own album, can you?

We'd probably download ours illegally. What's your favourite word?

Poof! It's not a word it's just the noise.

Probably means something different in Norwegian. What other noises do you like?

Music, music is the noise I love. I hate the sound of cars.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive?

"Hmm, you've made a few mistakes but I forgive you. Get in!"

Sounds fair enough to us. Thank you, Robert Post!


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