Hello Ruben, nice to hear from you. We were wondering, can you name all 4 members of McFly?

I only know Dave. He's my favourite.

Is he the fat one? Or the one with the lazy eye? Anyway never mind. More importantly, what is the point of wasps?

There is no point to them. They just make people's lives a misery. It's the same with mosquitos - get rid of them!

If only we could, Ruben. What's the longest time you've gone without a wash?

Probably a week, when I was at school. But I need to point out that I wasn't a smelly boy.

Which animal would you most like to be killed by?

Um... hundreds of rabbits, suffocating me with their fur. Their fluffy tails would be in my mouth. 'Watership Down' is probably one of the scariest films ever.

Right... If the Queen came to your house, what would you give her to eat?

Curry. A lamb phal. I don't think she's had one before. Although maybe she has to eat all food so as to give it her royal seal of approval.

Maybe. Have you ever killed anything bigger than a spider?

Yes, I've killed a crab... many crabs. Actually, I've killed an otter... with a tennis racquet. I was breaking up his dam and I don't think he liked it so I hit him. It was fine. He was an idiot.

[Someone call the RSPCA!] Can you remember when you first saw a bare lady and knew that it was naughty?

Probably when I was about four. I walked in on my mum when she was having a bath. I knew it must be naughty because she screamed. Naked women have been screaming at me ever since.

Can you do an impression of an animal?

I've tried sheep before and every time I try it out on an actual sheep they do a double take, which is quite nice. It shows I'm almost there with that impression.

Is Cherie Blair a white witch?

Yes! I read that she made stone circles and everything. And we've named our new album after her. It's called 'Witching Hour' and it's out n....[click]

Sorry there, Ruben out of Ladytron. We appear to have hung up the phone. Still, he lasted an impressive seven minutes and thirty eight seconds before plugging the album. Well done, that man.