A Rod for his own back...

Hello you horrible shower!

I have discovered two new heroes today. Men after my own heart, men brave enough to say the unsayable, do the undoable.

One is that smooth-talking lothario, MC Harvey. Not content with pressing up to Alesha Dixon like butter on bread every night of the week, he's now freed up his afternoons so he can knock the excuse-me out of ouch-limbed Eurovision loser Javine Hylton! Brilliant!

Now, eager not to be outdone, comes mini-rocker Rod Stewart. Like the proud dad he is, Rod's come out in favour of his 27-year-old daughter Kimberly's rack-job in the most heartening, fatherly way. "One of my daughters was a bit flat-chested," he breathed, hands flashing up and down his shrunken thighs. "She had implants. She's got a lovely pair now."

"A lovely pair"? Doesn't it make you wish he was your dad, ladies?

Gggrraaaaggghhhhh!