Who they are: Boy Kill Boy (on stage 1.30pm)
Venue: Boat on the Thames.
"We're gonna need a bigger boat!"
No we're not, this one will do just fine. It has a carpet - how posh. It's called the 'Silver Sturgeon' but we think there's something fishy about that. Ah ha ha ha! Oh. When we arrive we're asked if we're here to see "Boy Meet Boy". Now either they've had to tone their name down because the gig is going out live after 'Popworld', or we've accidentally turned up to a 'special' sort of dating show.
We arrive in time to watch Boy Kill Boy (it is them after all) soundcheck with 'Cheaper'. Singer Chris asks no one in particular, "Who else does songs about blow jobs, eh?" "Rachel Stevens!" we mutter to ourselves.
Perhaps predicting a sudden crowd exodus, the band open with their three singles: 'Back Again', 'Civil Sin' and 'Suzie', played at breakneck speed as if racing with the singer's rapidly disappearing hairline. Fair play to his creative use of fringe though, and congratulations are probably in order to GHD for the immobility of bassist Kevin's barnet.
Someone else in the audience with peculiar hair is a rather ancient, bouffanted, cravat-wearing lady, who appears to have got on the wrong boat by mistake but is making the best of it and bopping like a bobbysockser.
The band are surrounded on all sides by the crowd (known in theatre terms as 'playing in the round') and illuminated by a giant skylight. It's then that we notice there's a man OUTSIDE THE BOAT, like in that old episode of 'The Twilight Zone'. Can anyone else see him? BKB play 'Cheaper' again and suddenly the cheeky line about "going down" takes on a whole knew meaning - "I'm king of the world!" Our boat pulls in to dock and we're greeted by a big sign about rabies protection. Are we going to be disinfected? We've only been off shore for an hour and nobody bit us, promise.
Boy Kill Boy are now going off to play a free gig in Trafalgar Square (sticking with the nautical theme) and we're going to follow T4's Steve Jones about for a while. Laters!
