Suzanne's Q&A

What did you think about spending time away from your family?
I have been away with work in the past so initially I wasn’t so worried about that. However, I knew it would be really hard to not have any contact with Mark for 10 days. The last time I was away from home I ran up a £200 phone bill just from speaking to Mark. I normally speak to him every day if I’m away. I knew Mark would be fine with the kids so I wasn’t so worried about leaving them. If anything I thought it would be a good chance for him to bond with them.

How did you find doing the swap?
I found it awful. There was so much dust and dog hair in the house that I had to take allergy tablets just to keep staying there. One of the main things that upset me initially was seeing how little interaction there was in their house. The only time the kids interacted with each other was when they fought over the PlayStation.

What bits of the swap did you enjoy?
When I introduced rule change, one of the things I wanted to do was to make the house clean and tidy. I loved it that little Jaydon was so enthusiastic about helping me. He was so open to everything I changed. He loved the food I cooked for him. Even when Dave said the food was disgusting Jaydon stood up for me.

I really enjoyed encouraging Jaydon to do things other than playing on the games console, like colouring in with the crayons I got for him. It was so nice to see him playing.

I think that my favourite part of the swap was when I took the whole family dry slope skiing. They all enjoyed it so much and it was so good seeing the family properly interacting with each other for the first time.

Even when the kids ganged up against me with their dad, I thought well at least they’re pulling together as a family and that’s something.

What bits of the swap did you find the hardest?
The hardest thing for me was not getting any affection from the family. I’m such a tactile person normally. In my house I always tell my kids I love them and we all have lots of cuddles. They aren’t a touchy feely family.

Another difficult moment was at the start when I read in Jo’s manual that she wished she worked seven days a week. That really upset me – how could she want to be away from her kids every day?

Another thing I found so hard to understand was that their idea of a ‘family night out’ was them all going down the pub. It wasn’t even a family pub; there was nothing for the kids to do or play with. Jaydon cried and wanted to go home but Dave was having none of it.

How did your family cope with the swap?
I think they did really well – they treated it like a bit of a joke and obviously liked the fact that they were allowed to eat as many sweets and drink as much pop as they wanted. My eldest quickly realized that Jo was trying to buy their affections.

Mark walked out on rule change day. The first thing he saw when he got home was my kids arguing over the PlayStation. I’m so proud of how he reacted to Jo’s rule changes. He came back with an organized list of why her rules took it all too far. I thought that was great.

Do you relate to your family differently now?
I now realise that Mark isn’t that lazy and I realise what a great stepdad he is. I still wouldn’t tell him that though. You’ve got to keep men on their toes!

It was upsetting and surprising that my kids said that they wished their mummy was kinder. I sat them down and talked about that. I still make them do the chores but I have tried to make it more fun.

Has it changed you?
I definitely learned a lot from doing the swap. I now know that Mark is right for me and we are doing the right thing getting married. I appreciate him more now. I also have learnt how open my kids are with me - they can talk to me about anything.

I have become less hard on the kids when it comes to their homework. I still won’t allow their marks to slip and I’m not going to let that happen. I think education is so important and I want my kids to have choices in their futures. I think that the other family have unrealistic goals for their children.

Would you do it all again?
Yeah, I would actually. The experience has really made me appreciate my family more. I also now realise how seemingly similar families can have such different values. I can’t believe how ‘abnormal’ it is that my family doesn’t have games consoles and watch loads of TV. I think it’s sad that society has led to kids not going out and playing.

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