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Deirdre's household manual
Before filming starts, each wife writes a manual explaining how their house is run. Below are highlights from Deirdre's manual.
HOUSEHOLD CHORES
How often do you clean your home?
I never stop cleaning my house – I am contantly battling with mess.
It is such a big house, and there are so many of us, that it is impossible to stay on top of everything.
Who does the general cleaning around the house?
I do nearly all the cleaning. I have a cleaner a few hours a week to take off some of the pressure.
My husband, Phil, doesn't do anything around the house and I've given up asking him for help.
My kids do some of the household chores but I constantly have to remind them.
WHO DOES THE FOLLOWING, AND HOW OFTEN?
Vacuuming?
The cleaner comes three time a week and does the vacuuming.
Dusting?
I dust all the skirting-boards, picture rails and wooden parts of the staircase once a week.
Tidying?
I spend most of my life fighting clutter. I would love to have a tidy house but it's so big and there are so many of us that it's a losing battle.
Every morning I start by tidying the bedroom where three of my girls sleep. I leave Kimberley and Mark's rooms because they are complete tips. In three-year-old Caitlin's room I empty her potty and put away her toys and books. Then I tackle the master – the younger kids play in there and the older children leave their stuff around the computer.
I have to tidy up after my husband, Phil, as he leaves empty glasses, plates, clothes and newspapers lying around all over the place.
I clear the lounge of toys, books and videos (and dust it every other day) and then I tidy under the stairs area, where the children play with their lego.
I continually need to tidy the toys in the kitchen away.
I don't mind clutter, but I try to keep the floors clear. I labelled boxes by the front door and in the cloakroom for shoes. Every evening I do a tour of the house and garden, collect all the shoes that have been scattered around and put them in the correct box. The children should help but always need reminding.
Ironing?
I iron most things for the family – I have to do it every day to keep on top of it. I do it in the late morning and don't like it to mount up – in a family of this size there is always the chance that it will spiral out of control.
In the evening I mend any clothes that need to be repaired.
Cleaning the bathroom?
The cleaner takes care of the bathrooms with deep baths as I have a bad back. I take care of the other bathrooms, sinks and loo areas three times a week.
Clothes-washing?
I have to do two loads of washing every day and the tumble-drier is used for drying towels or clothes if the weather is bad. I have baskets for the dirty washing that the kids should put their clothes into, but I always have to remind them.
Cleaning the kitchen?
I constantly try to keep it clear of clutter and every evening I give it a thorough clean and tidy.
Washing-up?
Everything, except for Caitlin's beakers, is put into the dishwasher – usually 2 loads per day.
Cleaning the car?
I vaccuum the inside on Saturdays – we don't bother with the outside.
Gardening?
I water all the plants daily. Phil occasionally mows the lawn but usually it just gets left.
DIY and decorating?
Because Phil won't pay for things to be done – and won't do them himself – there are loads of things that need to be done at the moment.
COOKING / MEALS
Who does the cooking in your house?
I do all the cooking in the house.
How often do you sit down and eat together?
I am so busy during the daytime that I rarely get a chance to eat a meal – I usually just have snacks. The family only sit together on Sundays when, if it's sunny enough, we will have a barbeque. Phil tends to east left-overs from the kids' plates and maybe a sandwich before bed.
Where do you eat?
I make sure the kids always sit at a table to eat. Phil and I tend to bring home take-aways from the pub to eat in bed.
When are meal times?
Breakfast is a 9am; lunch is at 1.30pm; the kids' dinner is at 4.45pm; Phil and I eat supper or snacks at 10pm.
DAILY ROUTINE
How much time do you need to get you and the family ready in the mornings?
As there are so many children, it takes me over an hour to get everyone up and dressed.
Do you help the kids with their homework?
Yes, and in the holidays I give them activity books. I sit with them for half an hour after lunch to make sure they do them.
How do you spend your week-day evenings?
I have a routine which involves me getting the children bathed and into bed. If he's not going out, Phil comes in from work, makes a sandwich and then goes upstairs to watch TV in bed all night.
Once the children are in bed, I will do all the sorting, cleaning, tidying and mending clothes.
What time do you go to bed?
Phil is usually in bed, watching TV, from 7.30pm. I usually join him once I've got the kids to bed and want to sleep at 11pm, but Phil watches TV until much later.
What do you do at the weekend?
Phil leaves me to do things alone with the kids at the weekend. He would rather do things on his own and will often go to sleep.
DISCIPLINE
Who does the childcare?
I do all the childcare.
How do you discipline the children?
I try not to smack them – it is a last resort. Kim and Ryan get grounded or have their mobile phones taken away if their bedrooms are not tidy.
In dire situations, I will remove televisions from their bedrooms.
THE RELATIONSHIP
Who has the final say in family decisions?
Phil has the last say in everything, apart from the size of our family. He has always got his own way.
What tips can you give for coping with Phil?
You can never get the better of him. He is always right and will not back down, so there is no point in nagging him.
The best way to keep Phil happy is not to nag him or try to get him to do jobs around the house.
How would you like to be treated?
I would like to be treated with affection and given compliments. I'd also like appreciation for the work I do in the house as it is very hard.
I'd also like to make join decisions and have an equal say in the family finances.
HOUSE PHILOSOPHY
Please sum up the philosophy of this house and life within it.
This house and my life revolve around making the children happy.
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