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[ Graphical: Channel4 Homepage ]
We no longer have the Empire we used to hold so proudly; we struggle when it comes to the World Cup; our once-great car industry is now extinct; and we are useless at tennis. Yet amid all the gloom there is one honour to which Britain can still lay claim: when it comes to the most hated holidaymakers in the world, we come top of the league. No other nation has tourists more universally reviled than our own.
In 2002, a survey conducted by the online travel company Expedia confirmed what many of us had feared for some time – Brits abroad are considered arrogant, badly behaved, linguistically inept and insular. These were not the opinions of a few surly French; they were the views of countries canvassed across the globe.
The Expedia survey looked at tourists from 24 nations. Holidaymakers were judged on a variety of criteria, ranging from their willingness to integrate to their politeness and manners. Not surprisingly, the Germans came top overall, although they did score the lowest marks for spending and tipping. The courteous and big-spending US tourists were second, closely followed by the Japanese, the Italians and the French. The Spanish seemed content with their mid-table security.
It was the relegation battle at the bottom of the table, however, that provided the most interest here in Britain. In 21st place were the Indians; in joint 22nd came the Irish and Israelis; but last, propping up the table in 24th place, were the Brits – truly the best of the worst. When the results of the poll were conveyed to a group of holidaying Brits in Benidorm, they let off their frustrations in the only way they knew how. After treating Spanish motorists to some mass mooning, they embarked on a six-hour bender.
So much for the opinions of others, what about the opinions of Brits themselves? In another survey, carried out this summer for online car hire company carrentals.co.uk, 98% of respondents said that Brits abroad were a disgrace to the nation. Drunkenness, public displays of nudity, and fighting over sunloungers were just some of the many ways we let ourselves down.
Concerned of Melton Mowbray thinks that all this bad behaviour is a recent phenomenon; the undoubted legacy of 60s liberalism, the break-up of the family unit, and the decline of corporal punishment. In the good old days, it was all courtesy and manners, donkeys and deckchairs, respect for the elders, and wholesome family fun. Or was it?
A dip into the archives suggests that British behaviour abroad has actually been remarkably consistent over the last three centuries. Consider this comment on tourism from the 18th-century diarist Samuel Johnson: ‘The greater part of travellers tell nothing, because their method of travelling supplies them with nothing to be told.'
Back then, only the rich and well-to-do could afford to go abroad. These so-called Grand Tours typically took in Renaissance hotspots like Paris and Rome. But behind the illustrious façade lay a more familiar reality: the typical tourist rarely made any effort to learn the language; displayed only the most superficial interest in the actual sight-seeing; and was insensitive to local attitudes and ideas. The French, for instance, were routinely berated for not being English.
A century later, Francis Galton, polymath and cousin of Charles Darwin, picked up the theme on his way to the Danube: ‘The more you see the more you are convinced of the superiority of England. However nothing can be so admirable as a German or Frenchman who loves his country; it must be a great and genuine patriotism to be able thus to prefer it.'
Perhaps the diarist Francis Kilvert had Galton in mind when he famously wrote: ‘Of all noxious animals, too, the most noxious is a tourist. And of all tourists, the most vulgar, ill-bred, offensive, and loathsome is the British tourist.'
Programmes like ITV's Holiday Reps, filmed in the Greek resort of Faliraki, have done little for the image of the young Brit abroad. The typical traveller comes across as a curiously single-minded creature, intent on the pursuit of pure pleasure: by day generally placid, content to chill out on the beach and nurture nascent melanoma; by night, however, a voracious predator, prowling the streets for cheap drugs, easy sex, and lots and lots of booze. Here is a party animal impervious to local culture and customs. Guide books are left at home, local languages shunned, international relations jeopardised.
The results of a recent Foreign Office study of young British holidaymakers do not exactly demolish this stereotype. But neither do they reveal the unambiguous profile that many in Middle England might expect. The study, entitled ‘Project Holiday', looked at the attitudes and motivations of 1000 holidaymakers, aged 16-30, drawn from all parts of the UK.
Uncontroversially, 76% of respondents said that one of their main reasons for going on holiday was to relax and chill out; 35% saw holidays as an opportunity to visit cultural and historic sites; while 15% had sex on their minds. Intriguingly, holidaymakers from the West Midlands departed noticeably from the norm. For them, sex (29%) was far more important than history (15%).
Given the stereotypical immaturity of this demographic group, it may be surprising to learn that 72% of respondents said that they arranged travel insurance before going abroad, although the West Midlanders, once again, stood out (37%). Alarmingly, however, the survey revealed that one in ten people from Scotland and the Northeast had been arrested on holiday; while 9% of all respondents claimed that they'd been given a spiked drink.
The survey did expose a hardcore group of revellers for whom holidays are synonymous with excess. Most channel their energies into excessive drinking (75%), casual sex (28%) and drug taking (8%). But overall, this group was in the minority (35%). Far more respondents (62%) emphasised the importance of experiencing new cultures and meeting different types of people.
The issue of Brits abroad is a regular visitor to the letters pages of our national newspapers. Indeed, it is often seen as a close cousin to that other bugbear of national concern, football hooliganism. Lurking in the background of both debates is the belief that bad behaviour abroad stems from some kind of latent superiority complex, the arrogance of Empire, the egocentric belief that Britain still rules the waves.
But if it's all about Empire then what about the other European countries? Belgium, France, Germany, Holland and Spain, like Britain, all had great Empires. Why do their citizens no longer feel the urge to boast about it the moment they set foot on foreign soil?
Perhaps we should look to our more recent history for answers. The Second World War and the noble defence of Britain's shores is still resonant in the minds of many, and rightfully so. But is this brave victory grounds for a lingering imperialistic swagger? The US citizens, lest we forget, also have proud memories of the Second World War, but they don't allow this to burden their behaviour abroad.
As an island nation we are naturally insular. When we look across the water we see countries with whom we have experienced centuries of conflict. But while suspicion may be understandable, it still doesn't explain the modern British holidaymaker's apparent contempt for the local customs of other nations.
Some blame it all on our love affair with the booze. Alcohol is obviously a crucial catalyst in many instances of bad behaviour abroad, but it can't be the whole story. All European nations like their drink, especially the Germans, but they are either more responsible in their drinking, or more discreet.
There has always been a natural boisterousness to the British holiday spirit, but the sad fact is that when Brits go abroad, their reputation precedes them. In resorts across the world, locals steel themselves for the arrival of the barbarians from the north. Each year, hoteliers and waiters make mental preparations for angry confrontations with sunburnt men in Union Jack shorts demanding fish and chips, full English breakfasts, and two pints of Carling. For a significant minority, rest and relaxation mutates into drunken belligerence, and an earnest search for oblivion.
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