We no longer have the Empire we used to hold so proudly; we struggle when it comes to the World Cup; our once-great car industry is now extinct; and we are useless at tennis. Yet amid all the gloom there is one honour to which Britain can still lay claim: when it comes to the most hated holidaymakers in the world, we come top of the league. No other nation has tourists more universally reviled than our own.

In 2002, a survey conducted by the online travel company Expedia confirmed what many of us had feared for some time – Brits abroad are considered arrogant, badly behaved, linguistically inept and insular. These were not the opinions of a few surly French; they were the views of countries canvassed across the globe.

The Expedia survey looked at tourists from 24 nations. Holidaymakers were judged on a variety of criteria, ranging from their willingness to integrate to their politeness and manners. Not surprisingly, the Germans came top overall, although they did score the lowest marks for spending and tipping. The courteous and big-spending US tourists were second, closely followed by the Japanese, the Italians and the French. The Spanish seemed content with their mid-table security.

It was the relegation battle at the bottom of the table, however, that provided the most interest here in Britain. In 21st place were the Indians; in joint 22nd came the Irish and Israelis; but last, propping up the table in 24th place, were the Brits – truly the best of the worst. When the results of the poll were conveyed to a group of holidaying Brits in Benidorm, they let off their frustrations in the only way they knew how. After treating Spanish motorists to some mass mooning, they embarked on a six-hour bender.

So much for the opinions of others, what about the opinions of Brits themselves? In another survey, carried out this summer for online car hire company carrentals.co.uk, 98% of respondents said that Brits abroad were a disgrace to the nation. Drunkenness, public displays of nudity, and fighting over sunloungers were just some of the many ways we let ourselves down.