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Coming
out
Nathan's
story
| Links
| Local
groups
In November
2000, the legal age for gay sex was set at 16 years in England, Scotland
and Wales – the same age as for heterosexual sex. In Northern Ireland,
though, gay teenagers are supposed to wait another year, and all over
the UK the 'abuse of trust' is illegal, which means that teachers or youth
workers, for example, can't have a relationship with anyone they work
with who is under 18, whatever their gender.
The legal
age for gay sex has been the focus for much campaigning, but perhaps an
even hotter topic has been Section 28. Brought in with the Local Government
Act 1988 under Margaret Thatcher's government, this ruling was intended
to prevent local authorities from 'promoting' homosexuality. No school
has ever been prosecuted under Section 28, but the bill's opponents claim
that teachers have been deterred from offering pastoral care to gay teenagers
and that homophobic bullying in schools has been encouraged. Although
the Scottish parliament voted to repeal Section 28 in June 2000, it remains
in force in the rest of the UK.
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NATHAN'S
STORY
In
some ways attitudes have become more tolerant, however. But though
coming out to friends may be less of a hurdle for a teenager, telling
the family can still sometimes be a big one. Nathan, a 21-year-old
from the Midlands, told VEE-TV how it was for him.
'I
started to realise I was gay at the age of 15 but at that time I
did not know about it. I just liked men and didn't know the right
word for that. I fancied one of my friends, but not in a sexual
way. I just wanted to be his best friend and to be with him all
the time – no sex involved, just to be as close as I could.
But looking back, that was when I started being gay.
'I
lost my mother when I was only 12. My father had to be a father,
a mother and a friend combined into one. It was hard for him, but
I think he has coped really well. I used to live with my mother
and visit my father on occasional weekends, but after she died I
wasn't around at Dad's much as I was at boarding school at Mary
Hare and came home during the holidays. The father/son bond exists
but is not as strong as in some families.
'When
I knew that I was gay I didn't tell my father. I told everyone else
– my friends, even my sister, my aunty and uncle, but not my
father. He was the last person I told, when I was 19, but I was
shocked to find that he had already discovered two years earlier
when he went through my letters. I was furious, but he explained
that we did not talk and he had to go through them to find out more
about my life so that he could be involved with it.
'I
recently joined Central Rainbow, a Birmingham group for deaf gay
people, and was accepted on the committee as a youth representative.
I soon thought about starting a new group, Prism, aimed at younger
people. Prism started last October and has ten members at the moment
but I feel that we will expand with time. I think it is important
to support young people in a dilemma about their sexuality like
I was, but I was lucky to have friends who helped me to come out.
Prism can do that for others.
'I'd
say to young people who are worried about being gay: "Don't be scared.
If you think you may be gay, just explore it. You may be straight
and just going through a phase but if you're gay, why not be proud!
It's only natural!"'
Central
Rainbow
Post Box 4036
Birmingham B30 1AT
Voice/fax/text: 0121 478 0562
E-mail: centralrainbow@tinyworld.co.uk
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LINKS
metrosexuality
www.channel4.com/metrosexuality
Whether you need help finding a shop, a pub or a date, metrosexuality's
gay and lesbian resources will lead the way. This site also has a complete
list of national and regional groups and organisations offering advice
and help.
Sex
www.channel4.com/health/sex
Whether you're gay or straight, the Channel 4 Sex website has everything
you want know but were afraid to ask – and you can ask, 24 hours
a day.
A Beginner's
Guide to Coming Out
www.channel4.com/life/microsites/O/out/index.html
Probably the funniest, most compassionate and most perceptive guide for
people who are contemplating coming out, by comedian and writer Simon
Fanshawe. Parents, brothers and sisters, and friends will also find it
most revealing.
Deafqueer
www.deafqueer.org
Comprehensive information about the deaf lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered
community. Includes a bulletin board providing travel tips. Also a discussion
section called 'Point of View Cafe'.
Deaf
Youth Rainbow
www.deafqueer.net/cmra/dyr
Washington DC-based website offering online support and resources.
Oasis
Magazine
www.oasismag.com
Online magazine written by, about and for gay and questioning youth.
Queer
Youth Webring
www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=queeryouth&list
Webring listing more than 300 sites.
Yahoo
Online Club for Deaf Queer Youth
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/deafqueeryouth
Website offering a chat-room, message board, and community.
Youth
Resource: Deaf Queer Youth
www.youthresource.com/feat/deaf
Offers coming-out stories, role models, HIV/STD information, and a section
for hearing gay young people who wish to be allies.
LOCAL GROUPS
Armistead
Deaf Gay Men's Group
36 Bolton Street
Liverpool L3 5LX
Voice/text: 0151 707 8271
Fax: 0151 708 9283
E-mail: info@armistead-project.com
Support and information for deaf gay and bisexual men in Liverpool, Sefton,
the Wirral and West Lancashire.
Brothers
& Sisters Club
Website: www.broandsis.org.uk
London-based deaf lesbian and gay social group. For details of time and
venue, contact via the website.
Central
Rainbow
Post Box 4036
Birmingham B30 1AT
Voice/fax/text: 0121 478 0562
E-mail: centralrainbow@tinyworld.co.uk
Group for Deaf Gays and Lesbians and their family and friends in the Midlands
area. Hearing people are also welcomed.
If you
are a member of a local gay/lesbian group that would like to be included
in this list, please e-mail comments@vee-tv.com.
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